"Daddy, I'm pregnant." Rinse, repeat.

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HejiraHenry

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Our neighbors have a daughter who is pregnant.

She's 16 now, but was 15 at the time of the deed.

The father, he's been married before and apparently the same thing happened to a daughter from his first marriage.

And these aren't toothless goobers. They're a white-collar family.

I can see that happening once – it happens. But how in the hell would you not do everything you could to stop it from happening again?

Hell, now that I think about it, maybe they did.
 
There was a girl in my high school who had two kids before she graduated, and word was she popped out a third before the end of her first year of community college. She's a year younger than me, so she was 15 (10th grade), 17 (12th grade) and 18 (freshman in college), I believe.
 
HH,

What should he have done? I am not trying to be a jerk, but you can't watch her 24/7. All you can do is teach your values as best you can and then cross your fingers.

I have an 18 year old, and one of the hardest conversations I ever had with her was when she was 16 and starting to date. It involved all the things that boys would say to try and have sex with her. It also included me telling her that if she did decide to have sex, please make sure he used a condom and if he told you it didn't feel right with a condom on, tell him too damn bad. Having told her all that, she could have easily chalked it all up to the rantings of an overprotective father and ignored me...I am fortunate that she didn't, but it did involve a lot of finger crossing.
 
You're right, of course.

I can't help but think the biggest lessons the younger drew from the situation, though. is however the first girl was ultimately regarded in the house. Did that send a signal that it was okay? Did the first girl never tell her half-sister, "Don't mess up like I did?"

Of course, this is all just outside-looking-in.
 
No, you're probably right. The first one probably got a lot of help from the family, the baby was treated well by the grandparents and everything ended up going back to a version of normal. What else can you do? Unless you are going to turn the daughter into a pariah. But the step sister sure coulda said "hey, this is a pretty big screw up...watch yourself."

One of my daughters high school friends was pregnant at graduation and one of the biggest "told you so's" we got as parents was when the father of that child bailed. My daughter was furious that he wouldn't stick around and we pointed out that some boys were like that. It was a real eye opener for her.

It's just sad all around
 
Well, one option would seem to be to put her on birth control.

Get the shot, and have mom take her four times a year.

Isn't practical for everyone, though, I realize.
 
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Zeke12 said:
Well, one option would seem to be to put her on birth control.

Get the shot, and have mom take her four times a year.

Isn't practical for everyone, though, I realize.

On the contrary Zeke, it is the most practical solution. But many parents don't want to face up to what their daughters might be doing away from home.

But plan for the worst, pray for the best at least at our house.
 
Tell her to watch the Papa Don't Preach video. Great song and video storytelling.
 
My mother put my sister and I on birth control when we were 12. Mom made it clear she didn't want us to have sex, but she was also smart enough to realize that most teenagers have sex and that it was silly to stick her head in the sand and pretend that it wasn't going on.

Any parent who doesn't put their daughter on birth control is being foolish.
 
Dirk Legume said:
Zeke12 said:
Well, one option would seem to be to put her on birth control.

Get the shot, and have mom take her four times a year.

Isn't practical for everyone, though, I realize.

On the contrary Zeke, it is the most practical solution. But many parents don't want to face up to what their daughters might be doing away from home.

But plan for the worst, pray for the best at least at our house.

I meant that some women have a bad reaction to the specific form of birth control administered by injection.

But some form of birth control, lord yes.
 
Birth control, sex ed, and jail for anyone under 18 who gets pregnant or gets someone pregnant before their 18th birthday. Or at least yank their license.
 
A 16-year-old girl at my church is pregnant -- after her then 17-year-old cousin knocked up his 16-year-old girlfriend two years ago...
Babies having babies... are they just damn stupid?
 
Why should anyone having sex under 18 be put in jail? My grandmother had her first child when she was 15. What's criminal is that we want to deny that people that are sexually mature and merely acting on what's natural. There's a very good reason they used to marry girls off at 14 or 15.
 
slappy4428 said:
A 16-year-old girl at my church is pregnant -- after her then 17-year-old cousin knocked up his 16-year-old girlfriend two years ago...
Babies having babies... are they just damn stupid?

At one point this year at my old high school, there supposedly were 10 girls (ranging in age from sophomore on up to senior) that were pregnant. And one of the boys' basketball team's stars became a daddy just after he turned 16.
 
My stepbrother had five kids before he turned 20. Two different women with a set of twins mixed in. His mother offered to pay for a little snip, but he never showed up. Since then (6 years) he has only had one. We thought he was trying to get his own baseball team before he hit 25.
 
buckweaver said:
DanOregon said:
Birth control, sex ed, and jail for anyone under 18 who gets pregnant or gets someone pregnant before their 18th birthday. Or at least yank their license.

WTF? ???

I'm hoping that didn't come out the way he meant. If it did, WTF? ???
 
This is why I hope my children are boys. When you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.
 
ArnoldBabar said:
This is why I hope my children are boys. When you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

Damn. That's one way of looking at it.

Please tell me my 2-year-old daughter won't ever grow up.
 

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