christmas stories

[write receiver]

Just received word on an interesting bout of stories we have to write at my new gig. EVERYBODY....editors, news writers, sports writers, etc. has to write a story about a business for our "Christmas section"...which is basically just free advertising for local businesses in hopes that a bunch of people will buy ads during that season.

Does this strike anybody else as ridiculous? We are a small paper and already don't have enough people to do the work that should be done and now they're adding something like this that will take up all of our time?

I'm just not a fan of free advertising...

 

[Ace]

You can ***** or make the best of it. I suggest selecting a topless bar as your local business and doing a lot of hands-on research.

 

[NoOneLikesUs]

You can ***** or make the best of it. I suggest selecting a topless bar as your local business and doing a lot of hands-on research.

Profile the dancer "Mary Christmas"

 

[mike311gd]

I worked at a paper that did something like this, only it wasn't at Christmas; it was just some annual section they did in the spring -- while our tab was going out, of course. Thankfully, the sports guys didn't have to do it.

I thought it was a bit sketchy, but it didn't matter what I said, so I didn't bother voicing my opinion.

 

[SixToe]

The topless bar idea is primo.

Hey, people look at titties on Christmas Eve. They're just wearing a Santa hat instead of a trucker's hat.

 

[spnited]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

 

[Drip]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

Spnited, my sister has just completed her Christmas shopping today.

 

[93Devil]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

I've already started shopping for a Wii for the wife/me/Lil 93 (eventually).

 

[SixToe]

Christmas items are on sale already at Cracker Barrel, your friendly redneck eatery.

 

[spnited]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

Spnited, my sister has just completed her Christmas shopping today.

Yeah, yeah. yeah. My sister has been doing all kinds of online shopping and grabbing up early Christmas bargains.


Sick, sick people!

 

[Ace]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

Spnited, my sister has just completed her Christmas shopping today.

I think that spnited means that if you've just started talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 you are freaking ridiculously behind.

 

[Big Buckin' agate_monkey]

CHRISTMAS!?!?!?!? Don't talk about Christmas. Are you kidding me? CHRISTMAS!?!?? I just hope we can make it to Thanksgiving. /jim mora

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

I'm a fan of this one myself.

 

[Stitch]

I looked like Ralphie back in the early 80s.

By the way, reporters having to write what is essentially ad copy is ridiculous, but the normal state of affairs for a lot of small papers. The ad salesman aren't that literate to know what's in a newspaper.

While that's stereotyping, I always get the ad salesman to ask why a press release didn't run? I either say it's not newsworthy or if it did run, did you even bother looking at the paper.

 

[greenlantern]

To quote Lewis Black, "Thanksgiving used to be Thansgiving, and Santa wasn't poking his ass into it."

 

[jlee]

Was talking to my ME about a section like this (a summer "around town" guide that's basically just a list of stores and restauraunts with some articles about them) about six months ago. I was verbally rolling my eyes when he told me that four new businesses have bought ads year-round after being mentioned in last year's edition. Also, the tab itself turns a nice profit since advertisers want to get double the exposure.

I got no complaints if it keeps me gettin' paid.

 

[Drip]

I think anybody who starts talking about Christmas on Sept. 30 is freaking ridiculous.

Spnited, my sister has just completed her Christmas shopping today.

Yeah, yeah. yeah. My sister has been doing all kinds of online shopping and grabbing up early Christmas bargains.


Sick, sick people!

I used to think she was crazy until she showed me a bill of how much money she actually saved by buying the Christmas crap this early. One year it was something like $450.

 

[Batman]

You can ***** or make the best of it. I suggest selecting a topless bar as your local business and doing a lot of hands-on research.

Profile the dancer "Mary Christmas"

Does she dance at the bar "Merry XXXmas"?

You could also do a story on how the people working the register at the Big Box store are unable to shop there for gifts because of their ridiculously low pay, lack of benefits, and three children to feed. So they bring the kids to just stare at the video games behind the glass and whisper, "Some day, sweetie...some day."
Afterward, they take the family to Waffle House for a good ol'fashioned Christmas dinner of smothered potatoes and coffee.
Bet you'll never get asked to do another Christmas story again.

 

[dixiehack]

You can ***** or make the best of it. I suggest selecting a topless bar as your local business and doing a lot of hands-on research.

I'm the gift that keeps on giving. [/night court]

 

[hankschu]

The topless bar idea is primo.

Hey, people look at titties on Christmas Eve. They're just wearing a Santa hat instead of a trucker's hat.

This is OT, but I was on the road for 9/11. All of us beat writers staked out the hotel of the team we covered, talked to some of the players and had the evening free (that night's game was postponed). Most of us wanted to have dinner and drinks together for a little crisis camaraderie, but one of our ranks instead chose to visit one of the local adult establishments, which in that city were pretty good. I just remember thinking, "Hey, if you can't shove your face between a pair of fake tits and stick money in a woman's garter on a day like this, the terrorists win."