Christmas Disasters

[Michael_ Gee]

Just remembering that last Christmas night, I slipped on the marble tiles of the fancy hotel I was at and broke my wrist which is headed for second surgery next month. Also remembering that two years before that, a tree root broke through our sewer outlet leading to raw sewage across laundry room. My son, who'd just been dumped by his then girl friend, did not appreciate any gallows humor as we tried to cope with situation.
I can't be the only one. Anybody else got some good/bad catastrophes with red and green bows on them?

 

[cisforkoke]

If you have breakables under your stack of LPs, don't try to pull out the bottom album.

 

[Riptide]

My grandma got run over by a reindeer. On Christmas Eve!

 

[cisforkoke]

Did you open up her gifts, or send them back?

 

[Riptide]

It's still too soon. Please respect our privacy.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Nasty, icy day one Christmas Eve. I was driving to my parents about 2.5 hours away. Slipped on my front steps and went straight down. I had on a leather jacket and hit my right elbow on the edge of one of the concrete steps. I stood up, assessed everything, and continued walking to my car. That's when I felt something wet and warm on my arm. I took off my coat and saw a nasty gash on my elbow.

Being the idiot guy I am, I just washed off my arm, dumped some Peroxide on the cut, put on a little Band-Aid, and headed back out. It was still bleedong a little when I arrived at my parents house. I probably needed a couple stitches. If I wasn't wearing that leather jacket, I believe I would have suffered a severe injury to my elbow. Luckily I wound up with a little scar that's pretty much faded now.

 

[cisforkoke]

Ralph Sampson's trip to Hawaii.

 

[User 11148]

The first Christmas after my marriage, I volunteered to roast the turkey for my in-laws. It caught on fire.

That same Christmas, with sisters-in-law to buy for for the first time, I was thrilled to find a 3-for-the-price-of-1 deal on turtlenecks. The store even threw in gift-wrapping. How was I supposed to know that a Lane Bryant box ain't what a woman wants to see?

 

[cjericho]

If you have breakables under your stack of LPs, don't try to pull out the bottom album.

Or don't place breakables under a stack of LPs.

 

[Bronco77]

As an adult, I've worked Christmas as often as not. With a skeleton crew in the office, you're just hoping something unexpected doesn't happen (I had Christmas off the year Billy Martin was killed).

When I was a kid, the most memorable disaster occurred during our annual trip to the grandparents' house. We followed an absolute ritual every year -- dinner (always fabulous and everyone got along), dessert, open the presents, then grandpa builds a fire in the fireplace for the kids to watch while the adults enjoy a drink or two around the dinner table. But one year, one of the younger grandkids (not me) got a bit curious and yanked the chain that shut the fireplace damper. Within seconds, we're all evacuating into the 20-degree evening so as not to die of smoke inhalation. That ended the traditional lighting of the fire.

 

[swingline]

Ralph Sampson's trip to Hawaii.

Chaminade, na na-na na na na.

 

[Ace]

One year we were driving back from visiting the in-laws on the night of Christmas in snowy weather.

Had the wife in front of the minivan, two kids in the middle seats and the dog in a crate in the back.

Not far down the road in the country, we hear the dog retching, and one kid says, "Cisco threw up."

"OK," I said. "There is a gas station up ahead a little way. I'll pull in there and clean it up."

"The smell is making me sick!"

"Roll down your window. We'll be there in a minute."

Barfing sound in the back.

"Zach just threw up, too," my younger son said.

My wife turned around to look. She threw up as well.

I turned into the gas station, got everyone out, bought two rolls of paper towels, water and cleaner and cleaned up the back, middle and front of the minivan in the snow.

Merry Christmas.

 

[Batman]

One year we were driving back from visiting the in-laws on the night of Christmas in snowy weather.

Had the wife in front of the minivan, two kids in the middle seats and the dog in a crate in the back.

Not far down the road in the country, we hear the dog retching ,and one kid says, "Cisco threw up."

"OK," I said. "There is a gas station up ahead a little way. I'll pull in there and clean it up."

"The smell is making me sick!"

"Roll down your window. We'll be there in a minute."

Barfing sound in the back.

"Zach just threw up, too," my younger son said.

My wife turned around to look. She threw up as well.

I turned into the gas station, got everyone out, bought two rolls of paper towels, water and cleaner and cleaned up the back, middle and front of the minivan in the snow.

Merry Christmas.

Should've named the dog Lardass instead of Cisco.

 

[Big Circus]

Ralph Sampson's trip to Hawaii.

DAMMIT.

 

[Vombatus]

One year we were driving back from visiting the in-laws on the night of Christmas in snowy weather.

Had the wife in front of the minivan, two kids in the middle seats and the dog in a crate in the back.

Not far down the road in the country, we hear the dog retching ,and one kid says, "Cisco threw up."

"OK," I said. "There is a gas station up ahead a little way. I'll pull in there and clean it up."

"The smell is making me sick!"

"Roll down your window. We'll be there in a minute."

Barfing sound in the back.

"Zach just threw up, too," my younger son said.

My wife turned around to look. She threw up as well.

I turned into the gas station, got everyone out, bought two rolls of paper towels, water and cleaner and cleaned up the back, middle and front of the minivan in the snow.

Merry Christmas.

Ah, the joys of the dreaded "chain reaction puke."

 

[JohnHammond]

Someone hacked my iTunes account several years ago and bought $500 worth of gift cards Christmas morning. Got the money refunded in a few days, but it stunk reading that email that someone ran up $500 in fraudulent charges.

 

[TigerVols]

One year we were driving back from visiting the in-laws on the night of Christmas in snowy weather.

Had the wife in front of the minivan, two kids in the middle seats and the dog in a crate in the back.

Not far down the road in the country, we hear the dog retching, and one kid says, "Cisco threw up."

"OK," I said. "There is a gas station up ahead a little way. I'll pull in there and clean it up."

"The smell is making me sick!"

"Roll down your window. We'll be there in a minute."

Barfing sound in the back.

"Zach just threw up, too," my younger son said.

My wife turned around to look. She threw up as well.

I turned into the gas station, got everyone out, bought two rolls of paper towels, water and cleaner and cleaned up the back, middle and front of the minivan in the snow.

Merry Christmas.

I think I first read this in the Knoxville newspaper.

/DickWhitman

 

[Ace]

I think I first read this in the Knoxville newspaper.

/DickWhitman

My dog died and I sold the van, so the evidence is disappearing,

 

[YankeeFan]

Ralph Sampson's trip to Hawaii.

Wow. Oldie but goodie. Chaminade, right?

 

[YankeeFan]

Our Christmas tree fell over at 4:00AM a few nights ago. Broke most of the ornaments.

The tree is gigantic, and was just too big for the stand we had.

Lost a lot of pine needles, but we got a new stand and got it back up.