Break up protocol

[Beef03]

Just curious what the boards opinion is here.

A girl I had been seeing for a month, had four or five dates, a couple of real nice dinners, etc. breaks up with me out of nowhere through Facebook messenger. Kind of pissed off still. I personally would have appreciated a phone call as opposed to what amounts to an online text message.

Do I have a right to be angry over this?

 

[waterytart]

Yes.

 

[Moderator1]

Depends. Were you at the "Hi it's me" stage?

 

[Beef03]

Depends. Were you at the "Hi it's me" stage?

"Hi it's me?"

I think so.

 

[Moderator1]

You missed that Seinfeld? At what point in a relationship do you get to Hi It's Me on the phone without having to give a name?

Plus there's the big question that I'm way too polite to ask but everyone will want to know before giving you a real answer.

 

[Songbird]

Sorry to hear it. There'll be another.

That being said ...

 

[Buck]

Five dates means you've had sex. If she is older than 25, she owes you a face-to-face breakup.

Of course, the phone call breakup is so much easier for both the breaker and the breakee.

The last time I broke up with a woman, I didn't have a Fb account or text messaging.

I have never been the breaker or the breakee via email, although I have asked a woman out via email, three times, and each led to a long-term relationship.

 

[User 11148]

Five dates means you've had sex.

Damn ... I really am old.

 

[Beef03]

You missed that Seinfeld? At what point in a relationship do you get to Hi It's Me on the phone without having to give a name?

Plus there's the big question that I'm way too polite to ask but everyone will want to know before giving you a real answer.

I saw it, but with the advent of call display, it kind of jumps that.

Had we, ahem, consumated the relationship, no.

She's a single mom, didn't want to rush things, and I respected that. But she also dropped me for some one else.

Regardless, I'm pissed off one way or the other.

 

[Beef03]

Five dates means you've had sex.

I wish. She's 32 I'm 30.

I can look back and see the red flags of where it went wrong, but still would have liked that phone call.

 

[Ace]

Five dates means you've had sex.

I wish. She's 32 I'm 30.

I can look back and see the red flags of where it went wrong, but still would have liked that phone call.

I don't think she owes you a call saying she's breaking up after 4 or 5 dates (and apparently skipping the third date).

What would be normal, it seems to me, is that you call her to see if she wants to go out Saturday and she has to wash her hair that night. And every night until you get the hint.

At least that's what people in that situation did before Facebook.

 

[Buck]

If it's four dates and one broken date with no coitus, then I don't think you've got a legit beef.
As Ace says, in the olden days you'd have just gotten the prolonged brush-off.
Fb message is better than that.

 

[qtlaw]

Just consider yourself fortunate that someone who does this kind of break up would have been a disaster later (although the crash landing might have been enjoyable!)

She's a single mom and there's a lot going on there I'm sure. Consider yourself fortunate.

You're young enough Beef, go find someone else with less stuff going on and you'll be very happy you did not continue this one.

 

[DanOregon]

I've known women who wouldn't even consider you "exclusive" after five dates.

 

[Norrin Radd]

She's a single mom

 

[Ace]

She's a single mom

I think Norrin is trying to say that you're fortunate. She might have attempted to discharge a firearm in your direction.

 

[Versatile]

After five dates, she owed you sex more than a face-to-face breakup.

 

[Vombatus]

Did you at least get some kissing in? If so, you could call and leave her a message that you've broken out with a yeast infection on your face. Women seem to hate yeast infections.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

She's a single mom

Fantastic.

 

[House M.D.]

Glad I'm married. All I hear from my single friends is complaints about having nothing to pick from but single moms. Ugh, I think I would stick with the bachelor life than get in the middle of kids and the awkward encounters with deadbeat dad.