Best man etiquette

[JayFarrar]

make sure you don't mention how you nailed the bride in college.

Funny that you mention that! Umm, I haven't — or at least I don't remember if I did — but one of the groomsmen has or at least made one serious attempt at it. I think that's why he isn't bestman.
I probably could have hit it, but I had more sense than that back in the day and I was more intrigued by her roommate, the one who didn't have a rectum.
Anyway, I've already noted, "We knew (groom) was getting serious about settling down when he quit dating Jewish girls."
And thanks for that reminder Inky!
I wasn't aware of driving them to the reception, so that's been helpful. The stag-and-doe party seems like I hell of a good idea, but I know that a wedding shower, her co-workers paid for the airline tickets, hotel and some entertainment for their honeymoon.
So I think they are okay on money.

 

[Double J]

I don't see "get wasted and puke all over the bride's mother" anywhere on anyone's list.....

Seriously, some great advice here. The only thing I could add is that you and the maid of honour should take the lead in the planning of the buck-and-doe (also called stag-and-doe, jack-and-jill) if one is to be held independent of the bachelor party.

Could you translate the bolded portion from Canuckistani and into English for me please? I am unfamiliar with the buck-and-doe concept.
thanks

http://www.yourwedding101.com/bridal-showers/stag-and-does.aspx

Stag and doe parties, or buck and doe parties as they're also called, are designed to raise money for the couple's wedding. Hosting this type of pre-wedding party requires a lot of careful planning. As the intent is to raise money for the couple's wedding the stag and doe party must make a profit, hopefully a large one.

The profits from a stag and doe party are raised through ticket sales. That's right - guests pay to attend a stag and doe. Far from being a point of contention most guests are all too pleased to buy a ticket. Not only does the money help the couple financially, but the guest also gets to enjoy good company and have a great time. Often if the guest can't attend the party personally they'll purchase the ticket just for the sake of the bride and groom - now that's a great friend!

Thanks for the backup.

A buck-and-doe is basically a huge party, held in a large public place rented for the purpose, like a curling club, arena floor or, if you are very, very lucky, a farm's driving shed. There is music, usually by a DJ, and fun, unique games. At the party for my nephew last month, they set up a hockey net with a piece of plywood that covered all except the four corners of the net and a hole right in the middle. You bought three shots for $2; if you could shoot the orange hockey ball into one of the corners, you won a free drink. The first person to hit the hole in the middle won a brand new stick autographed by one of my nephew's friends who plays pro hockey. Another game was a nail-driving contest - whoever needed the fewest hits to drive a nail into a stump-like log brought in for the purpose would win a prize. I've been at parties where you bring in an old broken TV and invite people to pitch softballs against the screen - first one to break (not just crack) the screen wins. And you haven't heard anything until you've heard a TV screen get popped in a metal driving shed.

It generally only costs something like $5 to attend and alcoholic drink prices are very reasonable, often in the neighbourhood of $3 apiece or four for $10. A buck-and-doe is DEFINITELY worth the while if you ever get the chance to attend one!

 

[Double J]

make sure you don't mention how you nailed the bride in college.

Funny that you mention that! Umm, I haven't — or at least I don't remember if I did — but one of the groomsmen has or at least made one serious attempt at it. I think that's why he isn't bestman.
I probably could have hit it, but I had more sense than that back in the day and I was more intrigued by her roommate, the one who didn't have a rectum.
Anyway, I've already noted, "We knew (groom) was getting serious about settling down when he quit dating Jewish girls."
And thanks for that reminder Inky!
I wasn't aware of driving them to the reception, so that's been helpful. The stag-and-doe party seems like I hell of a good idea, but I know that a wedding shower, her co-workers paid for the airline tickets, hotel and some entertainment for their honeymoon.
So I think they are okay on money.

I'm sorry...what??

 

[T2]

I don't see "get wasted and puke all over the bride's mother" anywhere on anyone's list.....

Seriously, some great advice here. The only thing I could add is that you and the maid of honour should take the lead in the planning of the buck-and-doe (also called stag-and-doe, jack-and-jill) if one is to be held independent of the bachelor party.

Could you translate the bolded portion from Canuckistani and into English for me please? I am unfamiliar with the buck-and-doe concept.
thanks

...

Thanks for the backup.

A buck-and-doe is basically a huge party, held in a large public place rented for the purpose, like a curling club, arena floor or, if you are very, very lucky, a farm's driving shed....

I was about to ask for another translation from Canuckistani for the term "driving shed," but apparently it's a sort of garage or barn where buggies and farm implements are stored when not in use. Down here south of the border, most farmers just let these vehicles sit around the barnyard, out in the weather, so "driving shed" was another new concept to me.

 

[outofplace]

make sure you don't mention how you nailed the bride in college.

Funny that you mention that! Umm, I haven't — or at least I don't remember if I did — but one of the groomsmen has or at least made one serious attempt at it. I think that's why he isn't bestman.
I probably could have hit it, but I had more sense than that back in the day and I was more intrigued by her roommate, the one who didn't have a rectum.
Anyway, I've already noted, "We knew (groom) was getting serious about settling down when he quit dating Jewish girls."
And thanks for that reminder Inky!
I wasn't aware of driving them to the reception, so that's been helpful. The stag-and-doe party seems like I hell of a good idea, but I know that a wedding shower, her co-workers paid for the airline tickets, hotel and some entertainment for their honeymoon.
So I think they are okay on money.

I'm sorry...what??

That was my question as well. WTF?

 

[Captain_Kirk]

I don't see "get wasted and puke all over the bride's mother" anywhere on anyone's list.....

Seriously, some great advice here. The only thing I could add is that you and the maid of honour should take the lead in the planning of the buck-and-doe (also called stag-and-doe, jack-and-jill) if one is to be held independent of the bachelor party.

Could you translate the bolded portion from Canuckistani and into English for me please? I am unfamiliar with the buck-and-doe concept.
thanks

...

Thanks for the backup.

A buck-and-doe is basically a huge party, held in a large public place rented for the purpose, like a curling club, arena floor or, if you are very, very lucky, a farm's driving shed....

I was about to ask for another translation from Canuckistani for the term "driving shed," but apparently it's a sort of garage or barn where buggies and farm implements are stored when not in use. Down here south of the border, most farmers just let these vehicles sit around the barnyard, out in the weather, so "driving shed" was another new concept to me.

Yes, and here in the deep south, the curling clubs are usually booked years out.....

 

[Armchair_QB]

make sure you don't mention how you nailed the bride in college.

Funny that you mention that! Umm, I haven't — or at least I don't remember if I did — but one of the groomsmen has or at least made one serious attempt at it. I think that's why he isn't bestman.
I probably could have hit it, but I had more sense than that back in the day and I was more intrigued by her roommate, the one who didn't have a rectum.
Anyway, I've already noted, "We knew (groom) was getting serious about settling down when he quit dating Jewish girls."
And thanks for that reminder Inky!
I wasn't aware of driving them to the reception, so that's been helpful. The stag-and-doe party seems like I hell of a good idea, but I know that a wedding shower, her co-workers paid for the airline tickets, hotel and some entertainment for their honeymoon.
So I think they are okay on money.

I'm sorry...what??

That was my question as well. WTF?

Make that three of us.

 

[SoCalDude]

This thread reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.

It's well into the reception. All of the ceremonial things have been done, the oldsters have departed but the youngsters are still partying, drinking, dancing.

Groom and best man find a quiet moment aside to catch their breath and sip a cocktail.

Perusing the room, the groom says, "You know, I've screwed every woman in this room except my wife and my sister."

Best man says, "Wow, between the two of us we got 'em all."

 

[dreunc1542]

I don't see "get wasted and puke all over the bride's mother" anywhere on anyone's list.....

Seriously, some great advice here. The only thing I could add is that you and the maid of honour should take the lead in the planning of the buck-and-doe (also called stag-and-doe, jack-and-jill) if one is to be held independent of the bachelor party.

Could you translate the bolded portion from Canuckistani and into English for me please? I am unfamiliar with the buck-and-doe concept.
thanks

...

Thanks for the backup.

A buck-and-doe is basically a huge party, held in a large public place rented for the purpose, like a curling club, arena floor or, if you are very, very lucky, a farm's driving shed....

I was about to ask for another translation from Canuckistani for the term "driving shed," but apparently it's a sort of garage or barn where buggies and farm implements are stored when not in use. Down here south of the border, most farmers just let these vehicles sit around the barnyard, out in the weather, so "driving shed" was another new concept to me.

Yes, and here in the deep south, the curling clubs are usually booked years out.....

Fantastic work right there.

 

[Smasher_Sloan]

The best man gives the maid of honor her bikini trim.

 

[Webster]

I've been best man at 3 weddings, including one in which the groom didn't tell me that I was in the wedding party until the week of the wedding (making me change my flight) and he didn't tell me that I was the best man until I showed up to the rehearsal and was told where to stand. At the time, I didn't know his bride-to-be that well, but I'd been good friends with his long time girlfriend, with whom he had a nasty break up about a year before the wedding. When I was practicing the quickly assembled speech that morning, I kept on using the ex's name instead of his bride's. Luckily, I didn't slip up in front of the crowd.

I used the same line in each speech -- "I guess that I'm supposed to tell an embarrassing story about _______, but you all witnessed the first dance and he's already humiliated himself enough for one day."

 

[BYH]

Can't go wrong with the following speech:

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a ******* magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."

 

[Buck]

This thread reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.

It's well into the reception. All of the ceremonial things have been done, the oldsters have departed but the youngsters are still partying, drinking, dancing.

Groom and best man find a quiet moment aside to catch their breath and sip a cocktail.

Perusing the room, the groom says, "You know, I've screwed every woman in this room except my wife and my sister."

Best man says, "Wow, between the two of us we got 'em all."

The hypothetical groom is getting to a woman of whom he has not had carnal knowledge?
That's a pretty flimsy premise there.

 

[Double J]

Can't go wrong with the following speech:

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a ******* magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."

A ****ing winner!

 

[Double J]

I don't see "get wasted and puke all over the bride's mother" anywhere on anyone's list.....

Seriously, some great advice here. The only thing I could add is that you and the maid of honour should take the lead in the planning of the buck-and-doe (also called stag-and-doe, jack-and-jill) if one is to be held independent of the bachelor party.

Could you translate the bolded portion from Canuckistani and into English for me please? I am unfamiliar with the buck-and-doe concept.
thanks

...

Thanks for the backup.

A buck-and-doe is basically a huge party, held in a large public place rented for the purpose, like a curling club, arena floor or, if you are very, very lucky, a farm's driving shed....

I was about to ask for another translation from Canuckistani for the term "driving shed," but apparently it's a sort of garage or barn where buggies and farm implements are stored when not in use. Down here south of the border, most farmers just let these vehicles sit around the barnyard, out in the weather, so "driving shed" was another new concept to me.

I figured it would go over the head of most of the urbanites.

But they don't have driving sheds south of the border? How far south are you? I would assume that if you're in a place where it rarely snows, farmers can get away with leaving their stuff out all winter.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

I used this line giving a toast at my sister's wedding.

I told my new brother-in-law that I wanted him to take my sister's hand, put his on top and grip it nice and tight while looking at her lovingly. He did, and then I told him to enjoy the moment because now that he's married it's the last time he'll ever have the upper hand.

 

[dixiehack]

If the groom elects to have his bachelor party at a go-cart track, it is poor form for the best man to put him into the wall as a result of hanging on to the inside groove at all costs.

More traditionally, the best man collects the money that is paid to the preacher and gives it to him so that the groom is not directly involved in the transaction (other than footing the bill of course). He also arranges for all rented tuxedos to be returned.

 

[Buck]

Always quote Andrew Dice Clay during the toast.

 

[BYH]

Always quote Andrew Dice Clay during the toast.

"Hickory dickory dock, the bride was sucking my **** OHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

[BTExpress]

A best man is the one who should say, "Hey, you better try on your suit before you get to the chapel. You wouldn't want to find out 30 minutes before the ceremony that the cleaners gave you one belonging to an NFL defensive lineman."