(Bad) neighbours

[Beef03]

Everybody has them, but what is that your neighbours do that **** you off? mine found a new way this morning.
I have lived in the colder regions of Canada for most of my life, yet I have never seen anyone feel the need to use a snow blower on their yard - especially as every thing is melting in March - until last night. I thought it was strange enough, but didn't really care, I was watching the Oilers break their losing streak. Then this morning at about 9 a.m. he starts up in his back yard. Woke me from a very nice dream. For those of you with little experience with a snow blower, think about the noise an old lawn mower makes, then at least double it. I think I'm going to key his truck tonight.

 

[sportschick]

Re: asshole neighbours

Jackass!

My current neighbors are pretty cool. Worst noise is the occasional crying fit from their toddler.

A coupla towns ago, I lived next to some meth cooks. I never knew if my apartment buiilding would still be standing after work.

I also rented a studio that turned out to be on the same floor as a Level 3 sex offender, one who really wanted to be my friend (as in he was constantly stopping by my apartment to invite me to dinner.) According to the database he liked little boys, but it still freaked me out.

A snowblower at 9 a.m. is total bull**** though. That **** could wait until 11 or so. That way even most night owls will be up.

 

[MartinEnigmatica]

Re: asshole neighbours

I think I'm going to key his truck tonight.

If you can somehow jimmy the hood open, cram the windshield washer fluid tank with baking soda and vinegar. Once his car gets moving, hits a few bumps...glory is yours

 

[sportschick]

Re: asshole neighbours

I think I'm going to key his truck tonight.

If you can somehow jimmy the hood open, cram the windshield washer fluid tank with baking soda and vinegar. Once his car gets moving, hits a few bumps...glory is yours

Put vaseline under his windshield wipers and door handles.

 

[John]

Re: asshole neighbours

I spent a few summers working for a landscaping company and I always felt guilty cutting on the leaf blower at 7:30 in the morning because I knew I was annoying the hell out of somebody.

 

[Beef03]

Re: asshole neighbours

I think I'm going to key his truck tonight.

If you can somehow jimmy the hood open, cram the windshield washer fluid tank with baking soda and vinegar. Once his car gets moving, hits a few bumps...glory is yours

Put vaseline under his windshield wipers and door handles.

This is all so tempting

 

[Beef03]

Re: asshole neighbours

I spent a few summers working for a landscaping company and I always felt guilty cutting on the leaf blower at 7:30 in the morning because I knew I was annoying the hell out of somebody.

If you're a hired man, I can understand it to some degree, but if you're just going to be sitting on your duff the rest of the day, there is no excuse why you can't wait until at least 11 a.m.

 

[Sea Bass]

Re: asshole neighbours

Just tell him you had sex with his wife. That'll get him.

 

[buckweaver]

Re: asshole neighbours

My new neighbors are young'uns, age 19 or 20, first time they've ever lived on their own, and they treat their place like a dorm room. Always cranking the bass on the stereo at all hours (thumping my ****ing walls in the process.) Stepping outside for smoke breaks in the middle of the night and yapping, loudly, for a half-hour.

I complained twice about the noise right after they moved in -- I don't mind playing loud music, but **** all, why do you have to ****ing play it at 8 a.m.? : -- but they only stop for a few days and then crank it back up again.

Apartments suck.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

I don't think 9 a.m. is too early to run lawn equipment. Get up earlier, lazy ass!

 

[MertWindu]

I don't think 9 a.m. is too early to run lawn equipment. Get up earlier, lazy ass!

Yeah, you MUST be lazy if you're sleeping at 9 a.m. :

 

[writing irish]

I just moved into an apartment after years of living in a house. It will take some adjusting. No more cranking George Jones and singing along in the shower when I come home tipsy at 1:30 in the morning. "Oh she was hotter than a two-dollar pistol, she was the fastest thing around..." ;D

I just moved into an old, four-unit apartment building...two up, two down. My upstairs neighbors: an entire Mexican family crammed into a two-bedroom. A little noisy, but that's fine, because that gives me room to make a little noise within normal waking hours without feeling self-conscious.

My downstairs neighbor is a reformed alcoholic evangelical Christian who's also unemployed and rarely leaves his apartment. He's planning to attend flight school, but at the moment he's studying for his GED so he can apply to flight school. He's very insistent that I attend his church even though I've assured him that I'm comfortable with my religious views. He's into "prosperity Gospel" preaching and says that he wants to be a millionaire before he's 50 "so (he) can help others." He's lent me some get-rich-through-Jesus CDs. He also has two miniature dachshunds that wake me up early with their barking.

It's funny now, but I can see the humor wearing off in the coming months.

 

[MertWindu]

I just moved into an apartment after years of living in a house. It will take some adjusting. No more cranking George Jones and singing along in the shower when I come home tipsy at 1:30 in the morning. "Oh she was hotter than a two-dollar pistol, she was the fastest thing around..." ;D

I just moved into an old, four-unit apartment building...two up, two down. My upstairs neighbors: an entire Mexican family crammed into a two-bedroom. A little noisy, but that's fine, because that gives me room to make a little noise within normal waking hours without feeling self-conscious.

My downstairs neighbor is a reformed alcoholic evangelical Christian who's also unemployed and rarely leaves his apartment. He's planning to attend flight school, but at the moment he's studying for his GED so he can apply to flight school. He's very insistent that I attend his church even though I've assured him that I'm comfortable with my religious views. He's into "prosperity Gospel" preaching and says that he wants to be a millionaire before he's 50 "so (he) can help others." He's lent me some get-rich-through-Jesus CDs. He also has two miniature dachshunds that wake me up early with their barking.

It's funny now, but I can see the humor wearing off in the coming months.

Wow, if you still think that cat's funny in three weeks, drinks are on me.

 

[writing irish]

My neighbor will buy the first round. He'll enjoy setting us up with single-malt whisky while he sips a ginger ale.

I'm from the South, so I'm used to very religious losers. And I'm not without sympathy...I know what it's like to drink too much and I'm glad he has his life (sort of) straightened out.

The humor of someone who's unemployed with no GED who wants to be an airline pilot/millionaire is pretty amusing. But he needs to STFU about his church. And I've yet to have a hangover in the new place. Those little dogs could be skittering on thin ice should they ever wake me in that state.

 

[joe]

My new neighbors are young'uns, age 19 or 20, first time they've ever lived on their own, and they treat their place like a dorm room. Always cranking the bass on the stereo at all hours (thumping my ****ing walls in the process.) Stepping outside for smoke breaks in the middle of the night and yapping, loudly, for a half-hour.

I complained twice about the noise right after they moved in -- I don't mind playing loud music, but **** all, why do you have to ****ing play it at 8 a.m.? : -- but they only stop for a few days and then crank it back up again.

Apartments suck.

All I did was drink beer.

 

[Cadet]

The wing of my apartment has four dwellings.

The guy immediately across the hall has foil on his windows so the government won't read his thoughts. He's not bad, though.

In the 10 months I've lived here, I've never seen the girl who's door is 15 feet down the hall. But I can smell her, because she chain smokes. Especially on the weekends.

The guy next to me I've only seen twice in that time. He won't make eye contact with me. Sometimes he leaves a grocery bag with used Tupperware in it outside his door. Once I got a peek into his apartment, and it was floor-to-ceiling stacked with papers.

There's another wierdo in my building who used to take a random collection of things and put them on the table in the laundry room. One day you'd pass by and it would be water-damaged paperback books, assorted coffee mugs, flea shampoo for pets and a sweatshirt. A few days later, a different assortment.

 

[Clever username]

The wing of my apartment has four dwellings.

The guy immediately across the hall has foil on his windows so the government won't read his thoughts. He's not bad, though.

In the 10 months I've lived here, I've never seen the girl who's door is 15 feet down the hall. But I can smell her, because she chain smokes. Especially on the weekends.

The guy next to me I've only seen twice in that time. He won't make eye contact with me. Sometimes he leaves a grocery bag with used Tupperware in it outside his door. Once I got a peek into his apartment, and it was floor-to-ceiling stacked with papers.

There's another wierdo in my building who used to take a random collection of things and put them on the table in the laundry room. One day you'd pass by and it would be water-damaged paperback books, assorted coffee mugs, flea shampoo for pets and a sweatshirt. A few days later, a different assortment.

Do you ever wonder what those people might think about you? Like do they think you're weird for whatever reason? Although I suppose it's better not to try and figure out freaks. You might scare yourself.

 

[micropolitan guy]

My downstairs neighbor is a reformed alcoholic evangelical Christian who's also unemployed and rarely leaves his apartment. He's planning to attend flight school,

.

You'd better inform Homeland Security. He's probably going to fly a 747 into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or some other pagan shrine.

Never mow the lawn before 10:30.

Had some clowns roof a house across the street from me at 6 a.m. one summer. That was not appreciated.

Nor was hot-tub man across the street partying outside on a quiet summer night until 2:30 a.m. with Julie Inglesias cranked up on the stereo.

Most of my neighbors are great. But it only takes on to screw it up.

 

[writing irish]

I really hope that mother****er never flies a plane. I doubt he ever will.

The Mexicans probably think I'm weird 'cause I'm in my 30s and I'm single. They're probably bracing themselves for my being either a homosexual or a drug addict. Oh well, they'll find very little drama coming from my side of the building.

Julio Iglesias guy would have had me running up to Wal Mart for a couple of surface-to-surface missiles. Surely they sell those there along with all the other Chinese products.

 

[Cadet]

Do you ever wonder what those people might think about you? Like do they think you're weird for whatever reason? Although I suppose it's better not to try and figure out freaks. You might scare yourself.

Here's what they're posting on ApartmentRecluses.com:

"That girl who lives next to me, she's crazy. I don't think she sleeps. Why the **** does she have to shower at 2 a.m.? And then she's up at 8, blasting some Tori Amos ****. And dear lord, when her boyfriend comes to visit... they really need to fix that bed."