Bad candy....no really, candy

[txsportsscribe]

coconut is only acceptable when used in liquid form as a sno-cone favor

 

[Ben_Hecht]

coconut is only acceptable when used in liquid form as a sno-cone favor

Mounds.

As a doughnut garnish.

Otherwise? Problematic.

 

[txsportsscribe]

mounds, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

[Batman]

Mounds and Almond Joy.
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you just feel like your insides are being turned inside out.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

mounds, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Understand. Like licorice, an esoteric taste. Am aware that unadulterated coconut is death on the heart, so seldom indulge.

 

[Tommy_Dreamer]

coconut is only acceptable when used in liquid form as a sno-cone favor

I beg to differ there. Those girl scout cookies with the coconut sprinkled on top are damn near addictive.

 

[Beaker]

Ugh, I despise coconut, in any form.

 

[mike311gd]

mikey ... you may want to rephrase that. ;D

Eh.

 

[mike311gd]

Butterfingers don't have any gross coconut in them.

Real coconut = delicious
Candied, dried, shredded coconut = yuk

One of my favorite exchanges in all of Seinfeld:

George: I’d like to report a problem with one of your mechanics.
Willie: When did you bring the car in?
George: (To the man behind him in line) Yeah right. ... I’m gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Why don’t I just flush my money down the toilet?
Willie: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?
George: One of your guys - Kip, or Ned, short name - stole my Twix candy bar!
Willie: Are you saying he grabbed the candy bar away from you?
George: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.
Willie: I thought you said it was a Twix.
George: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.
Willie: Maybe it was.
George: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.
Willie: What about the $100,000 bar?
George: No. Rice and caramel.
Willie: Nougat?
George: No.
Willie: Positive?
George: Please.
(A woman appears from behind the window)
Woman: You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to 100 Grand?
George: All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!
(An old man sitting in a nearby chair speaks up. He’s Willie’s father)
Willie Sr.: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.
(The man behind George speaks up)
Man: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?
George: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!
Willie Sr.: Not Skittles.
Willie: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don’t talk.
Woman: (Sitting behind George) You make your father sit here all day?
Willie: He likes it!
George: Alright! Do you mind? I have the window! (To Willie) Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?
Man: (In line behind George) Twix has too much coconut.
George: No! There’s no coconut!
Woman: (Behind service window) I’m allergic to coconut.
Willie: I’m not.
Willie Sr.: ... A nickel!

 

[Buck]

Setting: Ambulance]

(George's strapped down on a gurney. His face is purple, and he's screaming. Jerry and Kramer are trying to calm him down. The driver and the assistant in the back are having a huge fight)

GEORGE: (In a state of hysteria) I'm an eggplant! I'm an eggplant! I'm a minstrel man!

DRIVER: (To Assistant) I didn't take your Chuckle, man!

ASSISTANT: I had five Chuckles. I ate a green one, and the yellow one, and the red one is missing!

DRIVER: I don't even like Chuckles!

JERRY: (To Assistant) Maybe he doesn't like them. That's possible.

GEORGE: My face! My face! Get me to the hospital!

ASSISTANT: I want that Chuckle! You hear me?!

JERRY: (To Assistant) I'll get you a Chuckle. You want me to get you a Chuckle?

ASSISTANT: (Angry, to Driver) Pull over!

DRIVER: Pull over? Did you say pull over?! You want a piece of me?!

ASSISTANT: Yeah!

JERRY: You're gonna fight?

GEORGE: Now?! I'm a mutant!

KRAMER: (To Driver) Hey, let me drive.

ASSISTANT: Come on, man. Pull over!

DRIVER: Alright! I'm gonna mess you up, man!

(Ambulance comes to a screeching halt. Driver gets out, and the assistant heads for the back door)

JERRY: (Pleading) Really, gentlemen, please.

GEORGE: My heart! My heart! (To Assistant) Where you going? Are you crazy?!

ASSISTANT: I'm gonna kick his ass.

KRAMER: (To Assistant) Hey, you have keys?

GEORGE: You can't leave! This is an ambulance! This is an emergency!

(The Assistant leaves. Jerry, Kramer, and George watch the two fight)

JERRY: All this for a Chuckle.

KRAMER: What's a Chuckle?

JERRY: It's a jelly candy. it comes in five flavors.

(Scene ends)

 

[expendable]

I can't believe this has been left out.

Jerry: Why did you force that mint on me? I didn't want the mint!

Kramer: Well, I didn't believe you.

Jerry: How could you not believe me?!?

Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint-- it's *delicious*!

Jerry: That's true.

Kramer: It's very refreshing!

 

[mike311gd]

Jake: So, then, you know, the light was clearly green, I started walking, he skidded and he went right into my hip.
Elaine: (With her mouth full of Jujyfruit ) Oh, that is so terrible. That is so terrible, Jake. I mean, how can people be so stupid? Just sickening. ... You want one?
Jake: No thanks.
Elaine: So when do you think you're gonna get outta here?
Jake: Where did you get those?
Elaine: At the movies.
Jake: Didn't the theater manager give you the message before you went in?
Elaine: Yeah, he did.
Jake: Then when did you get those?
Elaine: Right after ... that ...
Jake: So you heard that I was in a car accident , and then decided to stop off for some Jujyfruit?
Elaine: Well ... the counter ... was right there, and ...
Jake: I would think, under the circumstances, it would have sent you running out the building. Apparently, it didn't have any effect on you.
Elaine: No, no, it does!
Jake: If you got into a car accident, I can guarantee you I wouldn't stop for Jujyfruit!
Elaine: But ... Jake ...
Jake: I would like to be alone now, please.
Elaine: But, Jake, I didn't ...
Jake: Goodnight!

...

Jerry: So it's all over?
Elaine: Yeah, it got pretty nasty.
Jerry: And what did you go back for? Jujyfruit?
Elaine: It's not like I went across the street. I bought the Jujyfruit and I got in a cab.
Jerry: Why didn't you eat it in the cab?
Elaine: Because I got popcorn too, and I ate that first.

 

[I Digress]

I wondered when Jujyfruit was coming. Love that one!

 

[mike311gd]

It makes a second appearance, too. That's how good they are, apparently.

 

[mustangj17]

WILLIE: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?

GEORGE: One of your guys - Kip, or Ned, short name - stole my Twix candy bar!

WILLIE: Are you saying he grabbed the candy bar away from you?

GEORGE: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.

WILLIE: I thought you said it was a Twix.

GEORGE: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.

WILLIE: Maybe it was.

GEORGE: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.

WILLIE: What about the $100,000 bar?

GEORGE: No. Rice and caramel.

WILLIE: Nougat?

GEORGE: No.

WILLIE: Positive?

GEORGE: Please.

(A woman appears from behind the window)

WOMAN: You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to 100 Grand?

GEORGE: All I want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!

(An old man sitting in a nearby chair speaks up. He’s Willie’s father)

WILLIE SR: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.

(The man behind George speaks up)

MAN: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?

GEORGE: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!

WILLIE SR: Not Skittles.

WILLIE: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don’t talk.

WOMAN: (Sitting behind George) You make your father sit here all day?

WILLIE: He likes it!

GEORGE: Alright! Do you mind? I have the window! (To Willie) Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?

MAN: (In line behind George) Twix has too much coconut.

GEORGE: No! There’s no coconut!

WOMAN: (Behind service window) I’m allergic to coconut.

WILLIE: I’m not.

WILLIE SR: ..A nickel!

 

[mustangj17]

Crap Mikey already posted it.

 

[mike311gd]

Just assume it, my friend. It's really the last thing I've got left in this world.

 

[forever_town]

Candy corn is great. As is its cousin, the candy pumpkin.

Dude, I'm like addicted to the stuff. Seriously, someone better hook me up to an IV and give me the things intravenously.

 

[shotglass]

Candy corn is great. As is its cousin, the candy pumpkin.

Dude, I'm like addicted to the stuff. Seriously, someone better hook me up to an IV and give me the things intravenously.

Or better yet, sift pure cane sugar into an open vein ...

 

[ciera]

Wow, commenting from the far future. It is 2017 and I'm pretty sure they changed their ingredients. I bought a pack of dum dum suckers and blow pops to give my son as a reward (we're potty training). Well, We have had them since about April. It's September and they are all disintegrated. I went to give him one and it just turned to powder in its packaging. I don't know whats going on. lol