Awkward dates

[cyclingwriter]

This came up in conversation last night and thought it might make a good topic for this crew.

Awkward dates.

The story we got last night was from one of our interns, who met a guy a few weeks back during a road race. They talked. He asked her out. She said yes. She asked if he wanted to see a movie. He claims he has never been in a movie theater. She was surprised, but decided to go with him anyway. Met him at a move theater and according to her, he was either an amazing method actor or completely telling the truth, because he seemed amazingly blown away by being at the movies.

Anyway, we started riffing on what we would have done...like what other basic things he never did like use indoor plumbing, etc...

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

In high school I got up the nerve to call a girl I went to church with who went to another school.
She said no, she was seeing someone.
A few weeks later she came up to me after church and said she was available and would like to go out. (I found later, she told me) her boyfriend, drunk, drowned in the river and she was single.
She lived waaaay out in the sticks -- 40-minute one way trip to pick her up. and then an hour-plus ride to the movies. In the car she sang to the radio the whole way there.
On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.
We had nothing in common except she was very pretty with a cute little ass and I was very fond of pretty girls and cute little asses.

 

[Dick Whitman]

On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.

You didn't like that? You seem like a thoughtful enough guy.

Of course, high school E ... OR is not 2013 E ... OR.

 

[User 1019]

Had a girl start blowing in her drink like a five-year old once.

 

[Captain Obvious]

In high school I got up the nerve to call a girl I went to church with who went to another school.
She said no, she was seeing someone.
A few weeks later she came up to me after church and said she was available and would like to go out. (I found later, she told me) her boyfriend, drunk, drowned in the river and she was single.
She lived waaaay out in the sticks -- 40-minute one way trip to pick her up. and then an hour-plus ride to the movies. In the car she sang to the radio the whole way there.
On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.
We had nothing in common except she was very pretty with a cute little ass and I was very fond of pretty girls and cute little asses.

Perv.

 

[qtlaw]

I was 25 in law school and went to lunch (dim sum) one day with my mom and her friend. Friend brought her daughter who was fairly attractive and seemed fun.

So seemed like a good idea and I ask her to go out. We go out to dinner, see a movie, then um..... no dance club, no drinks, she's only 19. Damn, in one of the most fun cities for singles (SF) and there's only one other thing to do at 11, and I did not want to go to my apartment on the first date. So brought her home (lived with parents in the city) and made it back in time for SNL (which to this day marks an awful date, getting home on Sat. night for start of SNL.)

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.

You didn't like that? You seem like a thoughtful enough guy.

Of course, high school E ... OR is not 2013 E ... OR.

She was waaaay more mature than I at that age. I like to think I am smart. This girl was SMART. Not as smart as her a sister - a lesbian who went to Swarthmore - but very intelligent.
I was not thinking about philosophy on that date.
The whole thing was disjointed ...


Then there was the time I pretended to know how to play piano on a date with a girl who was in the band.
We got back to her house and there's piano in the living room.
I didn't get a second date ...

 

[Sea Bass]

One time, a girl agreed to have her neighbor named boots over for dinner.

 

[Ace]

One time I went out with this eager girl. We went parking after work and let's say that I got to third base and stayed there long enough so that she was satisfied.

But then I figured it was her turn to reciprocate, and she wouldn't grab the bat or anything.

So from that day on I made sure that no girl I went out with reached a climax. Pretty successful at it, too.

 

[Uncle Frosty]

Single mom in a doublewide.

Hey, that should be a country song title.

 

[Jake_Taylor]

One night in college I hooked up with a comely young lady I met at the bar who was somehow even more drunk than I was. We had our fun and for reasons I don't remember she decided not to stay the night and I didn't get her name or number.

Fast forward a couple of months and I'm working on a project in some computer lab on campus and she came in with a friend and sat down on the other side of the room. I noticed them looking my way and whispering a few times, so when I finished up I went over and said hi, we chatted a while, I said "My name is Jake_Taylor, by the way," and she laughed. We made a date for the next night.

So we go see Jeepers Creepers, get some ice cream and go back to my house for a beer or two. We wind up back in my room, both of our shirts are off and as I'm working on freeing the puppies I say, "you know, I think I still have your bra you left here last time."

"What do you mean last time?"

So we had an awkward, embarrassing conversation in which I tell her she'd been here before and we'd done this before, but she didn't remember at all. She didn't spend the night the second time either and went home with both her bras.

 

[User 1019]

I don't think I've ever heard of someone cockblocking themselves.

Well done, Jake. Well done.

 

[Wenders]

I went on a date with a guy I met online as a freshman in college. He seemed really nice, was also really smart. We decided to meet up for pizza. Because I didn't know him in real life (and there was a serial rapist going around), I asked if he minded if I brought a friend with me. He understood, said it was cool. Turns out, he was much more into blondes (i.e., my friend who had a boyfriend) and it was kind of awkward but he basically cut off all communication after that.

Flash forward two years. I was dating this guy and he was a physics major. They had a little gathering room in their main building on campus, where I would hang out with them. One day we walk in there...and there's my blind date. I'm not sure if he recognized me or not but to say it was pretty awkward, at least on my end, is an understatement.

 

[Beef03]

I haven't had anything too over the top, a few dates where there's been nothing to talk about and a lot of awkward silence. but nothing too bad.

A couple bad ones on my friends' side of things:

A current coworker of mine arrived at the prearranged spot for a first date with this girl, except she shows up with her mom, who just happened to be visiting from out of town. Strangely enough, a couple of months later and they're still going out.

Another buddy of mine has told this story a couple of times, so take it for how much truth you want. He was in university, can't remember what year, but he was well into a cougar phase. So this one lady he picks up, goes back to her place, wakes up the next morning and is roped into taking her kids to school, as it was on the way to the university from where she lived. Mother of the year on all accounts. It was at that point he started to reconsider cougars.

 

[Double J]

Single mom in a doublewide.

Hey, that should be a country song title.

How's this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_My_Double_Wide_Trailer

 

[Beef03]

Single mom in a doublewide.

Hey, that should be a country song title.

How's this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_My_Double_Wide_Trailer

Of course that was a Top 10 hit in both Canada and the U.S.

Here is the video, and not a bad song, I might add.

 

[Double J]

It is a great song. Sammy Kershaw had some gems.

 

[House M.D.]

Holy ****, a Sammy Kershaw reference? I've seen it all on this board.

Anyway ....

1999. Just graduated high school. Asked out a girl sometime in July. Did the usual dinner and a movie. I let her pick. We saw "Wild Wild West." I didn't ask for a second date.

 

[ColdCat]

I have the usual assortment of dimwit trail trash I tend to get dates with who are amazed that I'm literate but the gold standard of bad dates in my past was a nice girl from college that I made the bad decision of taking to a Super Bowl party, not thinking that my friend who was hosting the party was a huge Patriots fan (this was Super Bowl XXXVI). After three hours of sitting on a couch with a guy who was screaming at his TV, she never called me again.

 

[HanSenSE]

Back in college, night exams ended for fall semester and day before dorms closed for the winter. Word had filtered around that the girl that drew me in Secret Santa had quite the crush on me, so a date was arranged. All routine until we got back to the dorm and were listening to some tunes. Phone rang, it was her dad. She apparently hadn't checked in. Took her back to her room later and called it a night. But walking back through the lobby, the dorm adviser told me he'd been calling all night and he didn't have a whole lot of choice but to pass along the number. Since he was a yood gug I let him know it was ok. Broke up before the next semester.