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Lubbock produces the best dentists, but they all get the hell out. That's why there are none left there for the Lubbockites.
I used to visit a buddy at Tech, and what cracked me up was some of kind of deal the city had with the ranchers where they could only graze the cattle on the pastures nearest to town on certain days. So you could tell what day it was by how much it smelled like cow ****.