A writing job with security!

[Diabeetus]

Now THIS is some forward thinking that just might save the industry.

Copy writer - marketing materials - $18/hour (American University/Tenleytown)
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2008-06-11, 10:54PM EDT

Are you looking for an exciting opportunity make a real impact with your business and marketing writing talents? A dynamic, entrepreneurial for-profit college in Northwest DC is looking for an experienced copy writer and desktop publisher to lead aspects of both internal and external written communications.

To apply: Provide a resume and the following writing sample to demonstrate your abilities. (This is the type of thing we'll ask you to write, so if this doesn't interest you at all, you shouldn't apply) Draft an email that we could send to a student that has taken several courses at our college, but who has withdrawn, encouraging that student to come back and continue her studies.

The details: You will report directly to the Senior Vice President of Sales and Marketing and will be responsible for writing, editing and proofreading a wide range of print and online materials including content for our web site, emails to students, and other marketing materials.

The twist: while you are writing copy you will also fill the role of security guard, working 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. We will buy your uniform. You won’t carry a gun. Applicants must be able to pass a drug screen as well as a criminal background check. The security guard spends most of the shift seated at the reception desk, and there will be very minimal security duties. Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform.

The ideal candidate will bring a BA or BS Degree in Journalism, Communications, English or other Liberal Arts degrees. Candidates who are currently working on such a degree will be considered. The candidate should be fluent in desktop publishing and should be familiar with technical and non-technical writing standards, style manuals and proofreaders' marks.

Required Abilities:

- Experience writing, editing, proofing and the production of internal and external communications in a business to business environment.
- Ability to distinguish and adapt writing for the various contexts of print and web.
- Demonstration of effective coordination and collaboration with others, including internal customers, graphic design professionals and team members.
- Demonstrate excellent oral communication skills.
- Strong formatting skills in Word other MS Office programs are essential.
- A strong interest in learning new editorial and social media outlets and writing for such mediums.
- Prior desktop publishing experience.

Preferred Experience:

- A proven track record with external communications for marketing objectives
- Proven track record for writing high-impact marketing collateral such as brochures, data sheets, feature sheets, emails, proposals and case studies.

Technical Capabilities:

- Proficiency in MS Office (especially Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and Outlook)
- Adobe InCopy
- Desktop publishing applications
- Internet research tools
- Subscription research services (Lexis-Nexis, Factiva, etc.)

Equal opportunity employer. Drug-free workplace.

* Location: American University/Tenleytown
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/wri/716844518.html

 

[Angola!]

Re: Job innovation

If I don't get a gun, then I'm not applying.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Re: Job innovation

Not to mention that if they gave me a gun, I sure as hell would be more successful in getting former students to come back and resume their studies.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

Re: Job innovation

You've got to be ****ing kidding me. They want someone with a degree and publishing experience to be a rent-a-cop as part of their job. Amazing.

 

[BYH]

Re: Job innovation

Holy ****. That has to be a joke, right?

 

[Care Bear]

Re: Job innovation

You can borrow my gun. I love this line: "Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform."

This could backfire. What if the copywriter discovers their true passion lies in security guard work?

 

[The Big Ragu]

Re: Job innovation

You should see their other ad. It's for a new Dean of Students/janitor. The good news is that they'll supply the mop.

 

[Diabeetus]

Re: Job innovation

It might still be OK if you get to carry a nightstick.

And I think this is real.

 

[Flash]

That could be one of the most bizarre job descriptions I've ever read.

 

[playthrough]

You'll be floor wax and a dessert topping.

 

[Idaho]

Holy ****. That has to be a joke, right?

Don't try to pretend you're not applying.

 

[Write-brained]

So what if someone breaks in, ties me up and shoves me in a closet while he steals all the computer equipment ... do I get overtime?

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

How about a gun without bullets? [/barney fife]

 

[Ace]

If I don't get a gun, then I'm not applying.

Same here. And a bullet, dammit.

 

[PeteyPirate]

I'm surprised McClatchy hasn't thought of this.

 

[Ace]

Think the Plain-Dealer would go for a writer/window washer?

 

[mustangj17]

That has to be the strangest hiring manager in the world to combine posts like that.

 

[playthrough]

Not to make (too much) light, but bad things do happen at universities sometimes. How thrilling to see they think so highly of the security position: "Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform." Yeah, tell that to the real cops when someone gets attacked on your watch.

 

[Ace]

Not to make (too much) light, but bad things do happen at universities sometimes. How thrilling to see they think so highly of the security position: "Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform." Yeah, tell that to the real cops when someone gets attacked on your watch.

Become a police officer -- practically the whole time you'll be eating doughnuts, except when the doughnut shop is being robbed.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

Not to make (too much) light, but bad things do happen at universities sometimes. How thrilling to see they think so highly of the security position: "Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform." Yeah, tell that to the real cops when someone gets attacked on your watch.

Practically . . . yeah . .. 3:55 of ennui, interspersed with five minutes of sheer
terror.

Riiiiiiiight.