Wow, that hurts

[Unibomber]

So, I am sure by now everyone has heard Cubs catcher Michael Barrett will miss the rest of the season after a foul tip caused an intrascrotal hematoma -- that is internal bleeding of the nut sack for those of you who don't know.
Anyhow, the wife of a guy next to me is a physicians assistant (not a secretary, a nurse that is one click away from being a real doctor) and she said that they will basically lance his scroat to drain it and it will then have to heal.
That said, is this the worst damn injury of all time? Now I dont want to see Napolean Kaufman or Theisman mentioned in this thread, we are talking injuries no man wants to go through. Chances are none of us are going to be sacked by LT, but we could have something hit us in the jewels.
So, is this the worst ever?

 

[Point of Order]

Worst injury this side of John Wayne Bobbitt.

 

[Trey Beamon]

Is this a new thread or D_B?

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/31415/

 

[Unibomber]

Didn't see first thread -- did it die?

 

[joe king]

Several years back, a Cowboys receiver named Macey Brooks was sidelined in camp for ``testicular torsion.'' I don't know what that is, and frankly, I don't want to know.

 

[Norman Stansfield]

That's Napoleon McCallumn, not Kaufman. Easy to get confused.

Testicular torsion? I'd guess that means he got his nads twisted six ways to Sunday while being tackled or something. Probably less than a rupture, but just as painful.

:-X

 

[HeinekenMan]

Actually, they no longer lance the scrotum. They now use leeches. For instance, Ryne Sandberg or any other longtime Cub. They're all great at sucking balls.

 

[Cadet]

OK, guys, time to cringe.

My ex was born with a deformed urethra. Had several major surgeries by the age of 5, then all was well for about 20 years. Then the reconstructed urethra began to fissure, which made urination incredibly painful.

He had a few scopes and stuff, but then came the big two-part reconstruction.

First, they split his penis lengthwise like a hot dog. They scraped out the bad tissue, then took skin grafts from the insides of his cheeks (pretty big chunks, too) and laid down what would be the new urethra tissue. And they left it open like that to heal (and for the sutures to work their way out) for a few months. Not a pretty sight. It sort of looked forked, like a snake's tongue.

After the graft healed, they went back, stuck a catheter in, and sewed his penis up around the catheter. Had the catheter for about three months, while the sutures fell out, before they finally pulled it.

 

[BYH]

Two things:

1.) the google ads atop the page now read, in order: Heal Pain, Heel Spurs, Cubs Clock and Cubs Flag. HEEL SPURS?!?!

2.) Cadet's post is the most painful thing I have ever read. I think I just projectile vomited. Holy ****, that made me cringe.

 

[imjustagirl2]

I didn't know it was a contest...but Cadet's ex just won.

 

[BYH]

I didn't know it was a contest...but Cadet's ex just won.

Michael Barrett at a bar: "I once took a foul ball into my junk and ruptured my nut sack. Top that."
Cadet's ex: "Check this out."

 

[Cadet]

I've got pictures...

 

[BYH]

You know what, Cadet, I'm just gonna take your word on that. :-X :-X :-X

 

[imjustagirl2]

Um...no thanks?

Butterflied penis is not an entree I'm interested in.

 

[Cadet]

I know, I was just kidding. IJAG, it's enough to turn you off of men entirely...

 

[BYH]

Um...no thanks?

Butterflied penis is not an entree I'm interested in.

Butterflied Penis: The poor-selling follow-up hit to wedding staple "Butterfly Kisses."

Edit: Crap on a stick, I spent my 19,000th post on the words "Butterflied penis." Wow.

 

[imjustagirl2]

"Butterflied penis
In the morning air.
Butterflied penis
sutures stick in Cadet's hair."

 

[Cadet]

Are you kidding? Do you think I got anywhere near that?

 

[imjustagirl2]

I wrote it in 10 seconds. I didn't say it was realistic.


Well, except for the butterflied penis part.

 

[Norman Stansfield]

OK, guys, time to cringe.

My ex was born with a deformed urethra. Had several major surgeries by the age of 5, then all was well for about 20 years. Then the reconstructed urethra began to fissure, which made urination incredibly painful.

He had a few scopes and stuff, but then came the big two-part reconstruction.

First, they split his penis lengthwise like a hot dog. They scraped out the bad tissue, then took skin grafts from the insides of his cheeks (pretty big chunks, too) and laid down what would be the new urethra tissue. And they left it open like that to heal (and for the sutures to work their way out) for a few months. Not a pretty sight. It sort of looked forked, like a snake's tongue.

After the graft healed, they went back, stuck a catheter in, and sewed his penis up around the catheter. Had the catheter for about three months, while the sutures fell out, before they finally pulled it.

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!