What's the stupidist thing anyone's ever said to you? (Non-work version)

[KJIM]

At the post office, I needed to mail a letter but still needed to photocopy some of the stuff before sending it. So I handed it to the clerk to weigh, envelope on the bottom and the small stack of papers on top. I explained I just needed the stamp now and would mail it a bit later.

"But it will weigh more once it's folded."

Dumbstruck, I just stared at her and she repeated it. Then I said, no, it wouldn't because it would be exactly the same contents. Clearly, she did not believe me.

She just shook her head and said something like, "Well, you'll see when it comes back postage due."

What is the most inane thing you've been told?

 

[LongTimeListener]

Giving tax breaks to millionaires helps poor people.

 

[dooley_womack1]

"I don't love lamp."

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

"The Cubs' 2004 rotation of Wood, Prior, Zambrano and Clement was potentially just as good as this new Phillies group."

"The GOP is now a regional party for the next decade."

"Missouri football is a national power." ;D :D

"I hooked up with this girl at my college, and am now afraid to text her."

"All NBA players would be better if they had stayed in school."

"The last Indiana Jones movie sucked solely because of George Lucas."

"Newspapers have a bright future."

 

[dooley_womack1]

"Piotr's a nice guy whom you should never put on blast."

 

[Shoeless Joe]

Any time you're going somewhere with a fishing pole in your hand: "Going fishing?" .... "No, I'm going to play softball."

Any time I have on my bike gear - lycra, helmet, shoes - and am heading to where I keep my bike and my dad asks "What are you getting ready to do?" ... "What the hell does it look like?"

 

[schiezainc]

"You'll tell me when you're ready right?"

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

A thread asking for the stupidest things people have said manages to spell stupidest wrong.

"Piotr's a nice guy whom you should never put on blast."

End of Thread.

 

[TwoGloves]

Bought a T-shirt in New Orleans with a picture of the poster from the Beatles 1964 appearance in New Orleans on the front. Has the dates right on it. Was wearing it one day and a guy says, "Did you see the Beatles?" I had to resist the urge to kick him in the nuts before telling him I wasn't even two years old then.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

"That's not it."

 

[Precious Roy]

Had a PR girl for the local minor league basketball team talk about the league's mandate of having a black commentator to go with the team's usual guy... All day long.
Then when the big meeting starts, the truth comes out, the league is talking about a color commentator.
Boy is that girl dumb.

 

[Brian]

"We ran out of buns. But you can order everything else on the menu."

- Girl behind the counter at a rural Ohio McDonalds.

 

[lono]

This didn't happen to me, but I'm reminded of the time that at the Kentucky Derby, a reporter assigned to his first derby asked one of the horse-racing vets, "What color is a gelding?"

 

[playthrough]

Had a college student follow me on the sidelines at a high school football game, seeing if she was stringer material. At one point we were standing close to a running back waiting to go in. I saw her eyes go to his feet, which were heavily taped like most players do.

"Wow, he's playing with two broken ankles!"

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I knew a girl in college, who, while we were hanging out with a group of friends, thought that Canada was part of upstate New York.

 

[Starman]

 

[Poor John Carney]

At my last paper we handed out little sheets to fill out for high school seniors. One question asked what their plans were for after graduation. One kid paused, looked up at me and asked:

"How do you spell college?"

 

[blacktitleist]

While job hunting a couple of years ago, my mother-in-law sent me a link to apply for a head coaching job at a D-I school.

She thought that since I had a reasonable amount of success as a high school hoops coach, I'd be a shoo-in to get a head coaching position for a D-I VOLLEYBALL team.

She also told me she knew someone over there and would be happy to put in a good word for me.

This is the same woman who can tell you the name of all eight of Jon and Kate's brood but couldn't tell you the name of her congressman.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

 

[TrooperBari]

"I've never been off the island, and I'm proud of that."

 

[Lugnuts]

I don't know why this popped into my head, I'm sure there's been stupider... But a woman once told me she shaved her 18-month-old daughter's head "so the hair would grow back thicker."