Volunteering

[MisterCreosote]

Does anyone else have a ton of trouble with the modern dearth of volunteers?

I’m part of several volunteer organizations and it’s always a handful of us who do EVERYTHING while the rest of the parents sit on their asses and watch.

The reason I bring this up now is because my daughter’s Cub Scout pack may not be able to function next year because we don’t have replacements for our outgoing Cubmaster or committee chair.

We’ve called several meetings and sent out a bunch of emails and such telling people this, and not one parent has stepped up who wasn’t already volunteering.

This has been the case for as long as I’ve been involved in such things. Every time my kids play a sport, it involves getting a ton of emails from the league about how they may not have a season unless a few more parents volunteer to coach.

Just wondering if it’s like this everywhere. Very frustrating.

 

[Dirk Legume]

It's the 80/20 rule, but the 80 is finding other things that need their time and none of the 20 is stepping up. Recently, in our town, it was discovered that there would be no safe grad night. People on social media were outraged. "How is this possible? Won't someone think of the kids? How dare you. The parent teacher student committee had 4 members who raised nearly ten thousand dollars over the course of the year, asking for, help from the parents and getting none. When the community demanded that the kids get a grad night, the committee said "great, but we're not doing it. We can't do it without help and we've gotten no help." People then said "why didn't you tell us you needed help?" And the committee produced 15 notices that went out in every possible way. Emails home, notices sent with students, using the school portal, even using the school auto call system. No help.

There will be a grad night this week, because basically, backs to the wall a few people stepped up.


At some point, those who are volunteering are saying enough. It can't always be the same handful of people. And other folks either legitimately can't, or don't care. Mostly the latter.

 

[Driftwood]

It's the same for civic organizations. Membership is dying. The pool of new membership does not exist. People used to join to be part of something in the evenings. Now, they are preoccupied with being helicopter parents and a screen in front of their nose.

 

[MisterCreosote]

I told my daughter I was thinking about volunteering as Cubmaster. She said, “haven’t you done enough?” She’s 10, but she’s right. I’m her den leader, the advancement chair, the membership chair, and I run the Pinewood Derby.

She also reminded me why I do all of this — to spend time with her. I can do that as den leader. She and I both recognize that I couldn’t do that as Cubmaster.

That said, if the pack folds because we don’t have enough leaders, it’s a moot point.

 

[Gym Beam]

The high school students I work with have been pretty good about volunteering, whether through the NCL, or YMSL, or some other organization. They are very willing to chip in, just need to be told when, where, and what they need to do. I am encouraged about this next generation. They are kind and treat others much better than we ever did. I think there will be an uptick in volunteering over the next decade.

 

[Here me roar]

So for a number of years in our neighborhood we had a lot of fun events for kids, like Easter egg hunts, Santa in the park and things like chili cook-offs for the whole neighborhood. But as our children aged we aged out of arranging everything. And the thing I saw then and still continues as the young parents are not interested in helping. Then they complain that there's no events for their kids, but they're not willing to help.

A couple months ago the neighborhood put in a new playset in our little park, and asked for volunteers to come help demolish the old one to keep costs in control. Eight or nine people showed up including my husband. Only one of them had children in the age range to use the playset. Everyone else was older whose kids were grown.

We do have one mom who pretty much does anything that gets done which includes a small Easter egg hunt and I think Santa still comes. I'm not sure. But she has struggled for 3 or 4 years to get people to help her.

 

[PaperDoll]

The common thread I see is all these volunteer activities involve a small community of other people's kids.

Maybe that's why I haven't seen a downturn in volunteers. The programs I work with are for the broader community, so there's less of the petty backbiting (unless one goes back to the same activity repeatedly). I'm thinking of the youth sports thread right now. :rolleyes:

Basically, a nonprofit network partners with a zillion local organizations and posts a calendar with daily events all over the state. It's a matter of what one wants to do and how far one wants to drive to get there. Sign up and show up, then on to the next.

 

[TigerVols]

Boy Scouts undoubtedly helped shape much of who I am as a man.
I would not in a million years consider volunteering with the organization since I never had children of my own to participate. Even though two of my Scoutmasters were single dudes, society has radically changed since the 70s for obvious reasons.

 

[SixToe]

Our local running, biking and land trust events always are begging for volunteers. The same people seem to always chip in.

I asked a few years ago at our state park about volunteering to pick up trash and clean around the picnic areas. Was told I could join the “volunteer group” for a fee. Pay them to work? No.

 

[MisterCreosote]

So for a number of years in our neighborhood we had a lot of fun events for kids, like Easter egg hunts, Santa in the park and things like chili cook-offs for the whole neighborhood. But as our children aged we aged out of arranging everything. And the thing I saw then and still continues as the young parents are not interested in helping. Then they complain that there's no events for their kids, but they're not willing to help.

Yep, this is where I’m at now.

One thing I’ve had a modicum of success with was during the running class I teach at my kids’ school. I was over capacity by about 12 kids. So I sent an email to the wait-list parents and said if two of them would volunteer to help with every class (over eight weeks), their kids could attend for free AND I could accept the entire waitlist because of the additional capacity. I got three volunteers. And even among them, only one actually “helped.”

 

[MisterCreosote]

Our local running, biking and land trust events always are begging for volunteers. The same people seem to always chip in.

I asked a few years ago at our state park about volunteering to pick up trash and clean around the picnic areas. Was told I could join the “volunteer group” for a fee. Pay them to work? No.

Our community pool has a “volunteer fee” built into the cost of the membership (I think it’s $50 per summer).

If you volunteer for cleanups and pool prep in the spring, they waive that fee. That seems to be effective enough, but they still don’t get nearly the response I’d expect.

 

[SixToe]

One of our running groups offers free entry to their (expensive) trail events for volunteers who work at least 4+ hours. They still can’t get people. And their events are $65-100 depending on the distance.

I’ve suggested contacting the local university Greek orgs to see if they need community hours, but never see any students. Probably difficult for them to get up at 6-7 a.m. on a Saturday.

 

[Here me roar]

I will say though, that we have a very good library system in my county and they routinely turn volunteers away because they have all they can use for the time being. I believe you get wait listed if you want to be a volunteer. And I volunteer for an animal shelter that supports itself and has a robust volunteer list. But I will say the best majority of this volunteers, at both places, are older people, primarily women.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

Does anyone have any experience with parents volunteering mostly just to help their own kids? The Mom of my daughter's former best friend has been on the elementary school PTA from day one and has been running it for years and years now. Her two daughters are four years apart so the younger one was starting up just as the older one was finishing up.

And we have noticed her daughters win EVERY ****ING THING at the elementary school, They've been students of the month. They ALWAYS win the good prizes at the annual pasta dinner.*** They win best costumes at the Halloween party. (The younger one won for dressing as a cop. In a deep MAGA community where everyone ****ing waves that stupid blue lives matter flag) Just last week, the youngest, a soccer player, just HAPPENED to win the MLS tickets being awarded at some kind of raffle. It's become a running joke amongst the three of us. Oh look whose kids won again! We wonder what happens after next year, when the youngest moves up to middle school.

This is particularly noticeable b/c the girl who is now my daughter's longest-tenured friend has a very involved Mom and the friend was always the kid chosen to speak for her class at talent shows and other functions. This Mom stepped down from the PTA b/c she didn't like hearing the accusations she was getting her daughter favored student status. It should be noted a.) this friend kept getting speaking honors and other such things even after Mom stepped down b/c she's the nicest kid my daughter has ever encountered and b.) her older brother suffered from some kind of birth defect and never uttered a word before dying in his early teens. So if her Mom wants to be uber involved with her daughter after dealing with that, it's fine by me.

As for former best friend's Mom, anyone else have similar tales?

***I can't really complain too much, b/c my daughter really wanted to win principal for a day at the pasta dinner raffle in fifth grade, her last year of elementary school. Guess who won principal for a day at the pasta dinner raffle in fifth grade, her last year of elementary school?

 

[Dirk Legume]

Yeah, it's the helicopter parent thing. Being in the organization gives more opportunities to lobby teachers and staff on your kid's behalf. Some of it is teachers just being tired of hearing from them so they give the kid what mom wants.

I was a little league coach from the time my daughter was 5 to when she was 14 and I loved it. There was nothing like seeing the light bulb come on at some point when a kid does something you've been trying to teach them, It's the best feeling.

Every year, our local LL is always asking for coaches and managers and my wife and I have considered doing it again, but after we see what coaches go through with parents now, we just figure it's not something we want to put up with. I have seen parents leave the stands and walk onto the field to tell a kid not to listen to the coach. I couldn't handle that sort of thing.*





*I have a granddaughter now who is 9 months old. When she gets to the right age, all bets are off. My old ass will be hitting fungoes until my arms fall off. :p

 

[I Should Coco]

Loved the last part of your post, @Dirk Legume, because reminds me of my dad.

He always helped out as an assistant coach throughout my youth baseball playing days, mostly because he was the best at hitting infield grounders and towering fly balls for the outfielders at practice and before games.

A couple decades later I’m an assistant coach of my son’s Little League team. My parents come to visit and before a game, I ask my dad if he’s still got those mad fungo skills. Sure enough, he comes on the field and cranks some big league fly balls for the outfielders.

He’s almost 77 now but I bet if I put a fungo bat in his hands he still could launch some towering fly balls. Not sure if I could catch them, though!