Upscale restaurants: Not "stoner-friendly"

[writing irish]

Is this true?

 

[pallister]

I think you were just paranoid.

 

[imjustagirl]

Should have taken a baby with you. Then you'd have won.

 

[writing irish]

I think you were just paranoid.

Why do you say that? What? WHAT?

 

[Dickens Cider]

The terrorists truly have won when a guy can't take a bong hit or nine then go out for a nice meal.

 

[pallister]

tits like scoops of ice cream

Updike fan?

 

[Flash]

I think you were really at Chuck E. Cheese.

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

I could relate to playing with the seeds. Of course, when we did it, the seeds were on the cardboard cover for the vinyl album that was on the turntable.

 

[writing irish]

tits like scoops of ice cream

Updike fan?

I've only read "Rabbit, Run" and "Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu." So Updike dated her before me? Hmm, she didn't mention that when we compared relationship histories.

Maybe we were at Chuck E's, but it was awfully quiet for Chuck E. Cheese restaurant. Though that would explain the giant, talking rodents.

Frank: "Rastaman Vibration" specifically encourages listeners to use the fold-out cover for that purpose.

 

[pallister]

I haven't read much Updike. I just remember a short story of his from a college class in which he described, I believe, a girl at the checkout line in such a fashion.

 

[zeke12]

Updike will forever rule for his line about Ted Williams not tipping his cap.

Gods don't answer letters.

 

[JakeandElwood]

I haven't read much Updike. I just remember a short story of his from a college class in which he described, I believe, a girl at the checkout line in such a fashion.

Yep, he was a clerk and quit because the girls were treated poorly by the manager.

 

[writing irish]

I think that line must have stuck in my head from some conversation in college. I've always meant to read more Updike.

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Going to a restaurant with someone who's stoned out of their mind is awesome.

Went with a friend to a Mexican restaurant where we met up with a few others. Apparently, one guy had just bought some stuff and was gone by the time the other group got there.

Guy couldn't walk straight and had to be helped to his seat. The restaurant had paintings of a war scene, and the dude kept saying the Mexicans were coming after him.

After 5 minutes of this, a manager kicks us out.

 

[budcrew08]

wi: Your story will either induce people to try weed to see what happened or scare the living **** out of them... I think if I ever did that and had those kind of reactions, I'd probably end up killing myself jumping off a roof or something.

 

[Tommy_Dreamer]

TTIWWOP.

TTIWWO ... Pot

and

wi: great story and your imagery and choice of words was hilarious.

 

[Tom Petty]

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.

those are better ... on weed.

 

[editorhoo]

I don't smoke much ganja these days. Somewhere down the line, I became justifiably horrified of doing things that are very illegal. That's not to say I won't do it, but my days of being casual about that practice are behind me, now.

Well, after a very long period of abstinence from the herb, I began dating a stoner recently. She's adorable- little vintage skirts, vaguely Gothic look, tits like scoops of ice cream and so forth. And recently we went to one of Cow****istan's fine Italian eating establishments while high as ****ing Afghani kites. We are talking ripped to the tits. I have no idea how we found our way there. We walked, of course. For all I know, we probably left the house in search of finding a centuries-old copy of Rumi's poems that had been sitting in a cedarwood chest in Damascus for centuries before the French took the document from its Ottoman owners and somehow lost it in the chaos of the Druze Revolt of 1925. We started to do that, but ended up at a restaurant. It was that kind of stuff.

So there we are, she and I. Just. ****ing. Shredded. Blazed as all get out and probably smelling like Bob Marley's favorite denim jacket. I think I spent the first 20 minutes or so in the restaurant just admiring the font they used on the menu. I mean, we're relaxing, not too worried about time, you know? So this malevolent, porcine, Baptist-looking waitress starts giving us the evil eye. If only she knew how scary she looked in super-3D. Her eyes were two little dumb marbles of hatred. And she's coming up with all kinds of snarky, passive-aggressive **** like, "Here's y'all's FIFTH basket of complimentary bread." Well ****, it's free with the meal, right? Mind you, it's a very light kind of Italian bread, the kind with massive holes in the slices and little sesame seeds that you can't taste but fall all over the table. Then, you organize the sesame seeds into little groups. Odd numbers, even numbers. You can make little constellations and patterns with the sesame seeds. Look, honey, this is Orion. See his belt? OK, now I'm going to make a map of Micronesia with these sesame seeds. No baby, a map of Micronesia, not Hawaii. Heh heh. I know you love it when I make a map of Hawaii. I love it, too. Hey, did we order yet?

Anyway, I can't remember how the rest of the evening went, not in detail anyway. I'm pretty sure I went for the eggplant and she just got some ziti with marinara. But I could not help but notice the utter disgust emanating from our waitress. Like rays of light from some sun, these rays of disgust from the server. Not a bright sun, but a dull sun...a red giant. A big, lumbering orb of hate. All because my lady and I were both lit up like Mexican Christmas trees. So what's with the 'tude? If you can't get blazed as all hell and go eat overpriced Italian food while playing tabletop football with lemon wedges and commenting on the waitress' camel toe, then I'm thinking that the terrorists have won.

The most entertaining read I've had in months.

 

[buckweaver]

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.

those are better ... on weed.

Thank you, Jon Stewart.