Unhappy preps

[shotglass]

Now if it is unusual -- like a champion track team or wrestling team that fills the gym, maybe you are the one who needs the enlightening.

Some of my best stories have come from listening to people's complaints and mining for ideas.

Per usual, Ace nails it.

Sometimes, they're the ones with the right idea and not us. So don't approach every phone call with the idea that these people are clueless dolts. Listen to them. You might find something you'd missed.

 

[alleyallen]

Since we're sharing stories...

Working at small-town paper #1 several years ago when Michael Bishop and K-State faced A&M in the Big-12 title game. Bishop, a local high school legend, had like six touchdowns in that game but a turnover in overtime cost K-State the conference title.

Now because we're a small-town paper, we were going to use AP's cap of the game and do a locally-written follow-up a day or so later. However, some unidentified ex-coach called me up and demanded that I call Bishop a choker on the front page of sports. I calmly told him I wasn't going to do that because a) he really wasn't a choker (he was second in Heisman voting beyond, of all people, Ricky Williams) and b) that's an editorial comment that has no place in the story.

The guy railed at me for a while, asked my full name, then said he was going to find out where I lived and he was going to kill me.

Never mind the criminal aspect of that phone call. Sometimes, no matter what happens, you just aren't going to win.

Threatening to kill you because you refused to call a guy a choker is different. I like that.

And in my defense, I was drinking a lot that day and that damn choker cost me a $50 parlay.

So it was YOU who called me!
*&%#@!

 

[pressboxer]

I can only cover the events I am assigned to cover. My company does not approve overtime, limiting how many events I can attend.

If they don't believe it, that's their problem.

 

[Clever username]

Had a cheerleading mom call up and want a brief to run in the sports section about a finish at a weekend pom-pom festival or something. Told her to send it and I would see that it got in the paper (notice the ambiguity). She demanded it be in sports. No, cheerleading isn't a sport, I told her. She said it was because Nike made shoes for it (no kidding). Best line I've come up with is: If there were no sports, there would be no cheerleading. Any sport could survive as the only sport, even gymnastics. But cheerleading couldn't. That's why it goes anyplace other than sports.
At her request, transferred her to EE. Ten seconds into conversation, he said. "We'll get it in news. Cheerleading isn't a sport." Click.

I've had parents tell me that it's a sport because it's on ESPN. I guess I'll be running poker tournament agate any day now. ::)

We've already started. Local tourneys too. Kill me now.

I respond to people saying something is a sport because it's on ESPN by explaining to them what ESPN stands for: Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. Entertainment and sports aren't always the same thing.

 

[fishwrapper]

When the parent won't quit, I use one of these...

"Since my last story, your kid has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

"I would not allow this son/daughter to breed."

"Your kid is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"When you open your mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

"This son/daughter has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"You should go far, and the sooner you start, the better."

"You don't have ulcers, but you're a carrier."

"Your son has been working with glue too much."

"You must brings a lot of joy whenever you leave the room."

"When his/her IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he/she is the other one."

"You're prime candidate for natural de-selection. "

"He/she has got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you give him/her a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"If I stand close enough to you, I can hear the ocean."

"It's hard to believe he/she beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled."

 

[JayFarrar]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.
If you aren't willing or able to go the sexual favors route, you could just listen to their complaint.
If you aren't from the area, they provide some insight as to why it is meaningful and if it doesn't work for sports, it might work in another section.
One of my favorites is the school that won a cheerleading championship, big whoop you say, but if you had listened you would have heard that the win was dedicated to the sponsor whose national guard was activated along with with a couple of the parents to Afghanistan.
That at least makes for an interesting angle. And then you could do a larger story on how athletes are handling their parents being gone to Iraq or someplace.

 

[Ace]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.

It's good to be the sports editor.

 

[Clever username]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.
If you aren't willing or able to go the sexual favors route, you could just listen to their complaint.
If you aren't from the area, they provide some insight as to why it is meaningful and if it doesn't work for sports, it might work in another section.
One of my favorites is the school that won a cheerleading championship, big whoop you say, but if you had listened you would have heard that the win was dedicated to the sponsor whose national guard was activated along with with a couple of the parents to Afghanistan.
That at least makes for an interesting angle. And then you could do a larger story on how athletes are handling their parents being gone to Iraq or someplace.

Is this man hiring?

 

[alleyallen]

Hey, the concept of sexual bribery never once came into this discussion. If a MILF offers me a visit to the honeypot, I'll put anything she wants into the paper, including paintball results and previews for elementary school sack races.

 

[boots]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.

It's good to be the sports editor.

It's even better to be boots!!!!

 

[Ace]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.

It's good to be the sports editor.

It's even better to be boots!!!!

You know what they say, it's better to be looking at an ass than looking like an ass.

 

[boots]

Could be like the SE at a small paper I know who decides coverage based on the hotness of the women complaining and what they are willing to do lil' Bobby's picture in the paper.
You'd be surprised, or maybe not, but some are up for some Boots-style action.

It's good to be the sports editor.

It's even better to be boots!!!!

You know what they say, it's better to be looking at ass than looking like an ass.

I had to fix your saying.

 

[Breakyoself]

i had a volleyball player this past year write me an email and said I owed her an explanation for why i did not choose her for player of the year, and that her team was the best and that she had been working on the award for four years and I should not have picked a junior because that girl maybe could win it next year and I should give it to a senior.

A nice explanation that said I could care less what year they are and it would be a disservice to only give it to a senior kind of worked. The coach was a ***** about it too.

 

[Taylee]

Today, received season's first phone call from dad lobbying for son to be on the all-metro basketball team. Phone lines should be humming for the next month.
Remind me why we do these all-metro teams.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

I thought it was so those players could get athletic scholarships?

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

Never had an athlete get in my face about coverage. In my experience, high school athletes rarely care about getting their names or pictures in the paper. It's the parents that want to see it. I've actually had parents insist that newspaper coverage can be a factor in whether or not their kid gets into college.
High school sports would be awesome if there were no parents.

A pleasant thought, indeed. I especially like when you tell them that the kids likely don't really care about getting their names in the paper as much as they care about hanging with their friends and winning games.

Their reactions, all huffy and pissy as they go straight to the "What is your NAME! I wanna talk to your BOSS!" card, are priceless.

Get a life, grandma.

 

[Tom Petty]

These people are readers. You need to treat them with respect. If you were buying something from a store, would you want the clerk to tell you to **** off?

It's pretty rare that a high school athlete would seriously ask why their team or sport isn't covered more.

If they are serious you may explain the problems (they had a swim meet on a night you covered four basketball playoffs, for example).

Or the level of interest -- we just can't cover every soccer game but if you can talk to the coach and make sure we get a call or email, we can make sure to have a writeup in the paper.

Ask if there is anything going on with the team that would make a good story. Explain what that might be -- record-setting athletes, angles like milestone victories, winning while coach is in the hospital, etc., etc.

Make them thing of their team/sport in terms of stories rather than just getting covered for the sake of generic coverage.

You might find a story. You might enlighten a student and have a reader down the road.

Of course, if it is someone just being a jackass, you could always say you are waiting for them to win a game before you cover them.

do you also hand out blowjobs to little league parents?

 

[Ace]

These people are readers. You need to treat them with respect. If you were buying something from a store, would you want the clerk to tell you to **** off?

It's pretty rare that a high school athlete would seriously ask why their team or sport isn't covered more.

If they are serious you may explain the problems (they had a swim meet on a night you covered four basketball playoffs, for example).

Or the level of interest -- we just can't cover every soccer game but if you can talk to the coach and make sure we get a call or email, we can make sure to have a writeup in the paper.

Ask if there is anything going on with the team that would make a good story. Explain what that might be -- record-setting athletes, angles like milestone victories, winning while coach is in the hospital, etc., etc.

Make them thing of their team/sport in terms of stories rather than just getting covered for the sake of generic coverage.

You might find a story. You might enlighten a student and have a reader down the road.

Of course, if it is someone just being a jackass, you could always say you are waiting for them to win a game before you cover them.

do you also hand out blowjobs to little league parents?

I am a little league parent, so I guess you can blow me.

 

[Ace]

i had a volleyball player this past year write me an email and said I owed her an explanation for why i did not choose her for player of the year, and that her team was the best and that she had been working on the award for four years and I should not have picked a junior because that girl maybe could win it next year and I should give it to a senior.

A nice explanation that said I could care less what year they are and it would be a disservice to only give it to a senior kind of worked. The coach was a ***** about it too.

Breaky,

Volleyball teams are about the hardest to pick. So how did you choose your player of the year?

 

[dawgpounddiehard]

Today, received season's first phone call from dad lobbying for son to be on the all-metro basketball team. Phone lines should be humming for the next month.
Remind me why we do these all-metro teams.

To recognize how hard these kids work.

Space filler.