Two years ago today ...

[MisterCreosote]

... The pox descended on SJ in the form of MisterCreosote officially becoming a member.

I know I haven't always been the best poster here, and often have been one of the worst, but thanks to everyone for tolerating me for two whole years.

It's a celebration, *******!

 

[dooley_womack1]

Who started this thread?

 

[dooley_womack1]

*changing my "preferences"

Oh, it's you, congrats! Therefore....

Sheep scores are in. It's a celebration, *******!

 

[imjustagirl]

STG, I have no idea how I missed "Gangnam Style" until a coworker showed it to me Thursday. I am forever indebted.

Oh, and here's hoping the next two years are better.

 

[imjustagirl]

I figured now would be a good time to celebrate, because "third anniversaries" aren't exactly my specialty.

 

[JosephC.Myers]

Congrats on your two years. Here's hoping you can make it another one......

 

[LongTimeListener]

Every time a thread is going off the rails, a Creosote pic always saves it (and sometimes at my expense).

Congrats on not quitting in the middle of your sophomore year of posting.

 

[Bubbler]

Creosote is the man.

 

[Riptide]

This week's Manky Jimy Jeter Award is a lock.

 

[Versatile]

This is exciting.

 

[Bruce Leroy]

Any thread that includes Gangnam Style and Kate Big Beefer Upton on the first page is OK in my book.

 

[Riptide]

We could just make this the running "Girls eating popsicles" thread. I can think of nothing more flattering:

http://www.heavy.com/action/2012/07/the-20-hottest-girls-enjoying-popsicles/

I would bypass the popsicle shots and go straight to the pornos if I were into that sort of thing. Which I will neither confirm nor deny if pressed.

 

[Versatile]

5 Feet High & Rising​

[Act 1: The official SportsJournalists.com banquet hall is filling up. At least 75 people are in attendance, most seeking out familiar faces among the crowd. The banner streaming above the entrance reads, "Thanks For Not Quitting." The guest of honor has not arrived. The door swings open, and in walks a young woman wearing a baggy No. 8 Minnesota Twins jersey atop a long black dress. She's greeted by a woman in a colorful skirt and an older gentleman who was way overdressed for the occasion.]

21: So how was BYH's thing? Sorry we couldn't make it.
imjustagirl: Don't even ****ing bother. The asshole isn't dead, he just went missing. Had the nerve to show up at his own memorial service.
Frank_Ridgeway: Dickhead.
imjustagirl: On top of that, the dickhead said he couldn't come to this. Where the **** is 'Sote?
21: I have no idea.
Frank_Ridgeway: Mizzou said he heard on the Republican Radio Service that MisterCreosote would be a little late. Should be here soon.
imjustagirl: Sounds about right.
21: Well, you look great, Jagger. I'm going to go find Boom and make out or something.

[21 leaves Frank_Ridgeway and imjustagirl alone to a conversation about shoes, then three young men with ****-eating grins stop over. Frank_Ridgeway's Scotch is empty, so he leaves.]

Uncle.Ruckus: I can't even figure out why we're here.
Zeke12: Right. Two years ain't ****.
imjustagirl: How do you not grasp 'Sote's commitment problems?
dreunc1542: I hear he's a habitual quitter.
Zeke12: Is that why he never called me, maybe?
imjustagirl: You guys are idiots. I'm leaving.
Uncle.Ruckus: She must be on her period, like Dr. Pepper.

[imjustagirl extends her middle finger as she leaves the men, who are joined by an old fellow with a habitual scowl and a younger one drinking an Old Style.]

RickStain: Parties for anniversaries are illogical.
Uncle.Ruckus: I don't know. Seems like a good way to celebrate something important. I just don't find this asshole all that important.
RickStain: But there's always a next year, really even a next day. And we arbitrarily decided round numbers are important.
dreunc1542: Does it hurt, thinking that hard, Stain?
Starman: I don't even know why anyone would give a **** about that ****headed Republican dickwad.
Zeke12: Honestly, Starman, I only came to see you get drunk and fight YankeeFan.
Starman: That dickwad is here? I didn't smell coffee.

[Another older man approaches the group, and Uncle.Ruckus, Zeke12 and dreunc1542 depart to their own little corner.]

Moderator1: Calm down, Starman. Let's save the politics talk for another day.
Starman: ****ing cockmongers.
[Starman exits left]
Moderator1: So, Rick. Maybe you'd like to explain why the Cubs are a bunch of assholes now, aye?
RickStain: It's probably because the Nationals rub their good luck in the draft in everyone's faces in such an insufferable way. You didn't hear the Cubs making a big deal about shutting down Jeff Samardzija, did you?
Moderator1: Who?
RickStain: I can't wait till your team gets rocked in the first round by the Braves or Dodgers and that smug smile is wiped off every Nats fan's face.
[A young man with a plate of half-eaten sandwiches joins the conversation.]
RickStain (pointing): Especially this asshole.
JackReacher: Always a pleasure, Stain. Gio Gonzalez is great, isn't he, Moddy?
Moderator1: Sure is. I'm just giddy about this whole thing!

[RickStain leaves the Nats fans, then Moderator1 notices Frank_Ridgeway's shoes and feels compelled to compliment them. JackReacher stands around for a bit, sipping his 7 and 7, before a couple takes pity on him and comes over to talk.]

YGBFKM: Sonner, you look like a ****. Who wears a Redskins jersey in public?
JackReacher: Your shirt doesn't even have sleeves!
Care Bear: You do look like a ****, though, Sonner. Besides, you're definitely rooting for Kirk Cousins.
JackReacher: How's Brokeneck Manning doing?
Care Bear (being restrained by YGBFKM): I ****ing swear, Sonner.
JackReacher: Ha! Great to see you guys, though. Baby say anything disparaging about me lately?
YGBFKM: We try to ignore your existence, mostly.
Care Bear: But he does think 'Sote's a **** for showing up late to his own party. Besides, who the **** throws himself an anniversary party?
JackReacher: 'Sote's head is so far up his own ass that his **** don't stink anymore.
Care Bear: I bet his fiancée pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.
YGBFKM: I heard he played punter in high school, but then quit.

[The door creeks open. A woman peeks her head in to tell everyone to be quiet. MisterCreosote has arrived.]

----------------------------------

(Please, feel free to continue if you're so inspired.)

 

[dooley_womack1]

Care Bear: I bet his fiance pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.

It's fiancée, you troglodyte.

NTTAWW the other way

 

[Versatile]

Care Bear: I bet his fiance pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.

It's fiancée, you troglodyte.

I forgot to add the accented e before sending. My tactic is copying from Wikipedia, aka Hoppesing.

 

[Riptide]

Care Bear: I bet his fiance pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.

It's fiancée, you troglodyte.

I forgot to add the accented e before sending. My tactic is copying from Wikipedia, aka Hoppesing.

Hop Sing not happy. "NO STEW FOR YOU."

 

[imjustagirl]

5 Feet High & Rising​

[Act 1: The official SportsJournalists.com banquet hall is filling up. At least 75 people are in attendance, most seeking out familiar faces among the crowd. The banner streaming above the entrance reads, "Thanks For Not Quitting." The guest of honor has not arrived. The door swings open, and in walks a young woman wearing a baggy No. 8 Minnesota Twins jersey atop a long black dress. She's greeted by a woman in a colorful skirt and an older gentleman who was way overdressed for the occasion.]

21: So how was BYH's thing? Sorry we couldn't make it.
imjustagirl: Don't even ****ing bother. The asshole isn't dead, he just went missing. Had the nerve to show up at his own memorial service.
Frank_Ridgeway: Dickhead.
imjustagirl: On top of that, the dickhead said he couldn't come to this. Where the **** is 'Sote?
21: I have no idea.
Frank_Ridgeway: Mizzou said he heard on the Republican Radio Service that MisterCreosote would be a little late. Should be here soon.
imjustagirl: Sounds about right.
21: Well, you look great, Jagger. I'm going to go find Boom and make out or something.

[21 leaves Frank_Ridgeway and imjustagirl alone to a conversation about shoes, then three young men with ****-eating grins stop over. Frank_Ridgeway's Scotch is empty, so he leaves.]

Uncle.Ruckus: I can't even figure out why we're here.
Zeke12: Right. Two years ain't ****.
imjustagirl: How do you not grasp 'Sote's commitment problems?
dreunc1542: I hear he's a habitual quitter.
Zeke12: Is that why he never called me, maybe?
imjustagirl: You guys are idiots. I'm leaving.
Uncle.Ruckus: She must be on her period, like Dr. Pepper.

[imjustagirl extends her middle finger as she leaves the men, who are joined by an old fellow with a habitual scowl and a younger one drinking an Old Style.]

RickStain: Parties for anniversaries are illogical.
Uncle.Ruckus: I don't know. Seems like a good way to celebrate something important. I just don't find this asshole all that important.
RickStain: But there's always a next year, really even a next day. And we arbitrarily decided round numbers are important.
dreunc1542: Does it hurt, thinking that hard, Stain?
Starman: I don't even know why anyone would give a **** about that ****headed Republican dickwad.
Zeke12: Honestly, Starman, I only came to see you get drunk and fight YankeeFan.
Starman: That dickwad is here? I didn't smell coffee.

[Another older man approaches the group, and Uncle.Ruckus, Zeke12 and dreunc1542 depart to their own little corner.]

Moderator1: Calm down, Starman. Let's save the politics talk for another day.
Starman: ****ing cockmongers.
[Starman exits left]
Moderator1: So, Rick. Maybe you'd like to explain why the Cubs are a bunch of assholes now, aye?
RickStain: It's probably because the Nationals rub their good luck in the draft in everyone's faces in such an insufferable way. You didn't hear the Cubs making a big deal about shutting down Jeff Samardzija, did you?
Moderator1: Who?
RickStain: I can't wait till your team gets rocked in the first round by the Braves or Dodgers and that smug smile is wiped off every Nats fan's face.
[A young man with a plate of half-eaten sandwiches joins the conversation.]
RickStain (pointing): Especially this asshole.
JackReacher: Always a pleasure, Stain. Gio Gonzalez is great, isn't he, Moddy?
Moderator1: Sure is. I'm just giddy about this whole thing!

[RickStain leaves the Nats fans, then Moderator1 notices Frank_Ridgeway's shoes and feels compelled to compliment them. JackReacher stands around for a bit, sipping his 7 and 7, before a couple takes pity on him and comes over to talk.]

YGBFKM: Sonner, you look like a ****. Who wears a Redskins jersey in public?
JackReacher: Your shirt doesn't even have sleeves!
Care Bear: You do look like a ****, though, Sonner. Besides, you're definitely rooting for Kirk Cousins.
JackReacher: How's Brokeneck Manning doing?
Care Bear (being restrained by YGBFKM): I ****ing swear, Sonner.
JackReacher: Ha! Great to see you guys, though. Baby say anything disparaging about me lately?
YGBFKM: We try to ignore your existence, mostly.
Care Bear: But he does think 'Sote's a **** for showing up late to his own party. Besides, who the **** throws himself an anniversary party?
JackReacher: 'Sote's head is so far up his own ass that his **** don't stink anymore.
Care Bear: I bet his fiancée pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.
YGBFKM: I heard he played punter in high school, but then quit.

[The door creeks open. A woman peeks her head in to tell everyone to be quiet. MisterCreosote has arrived]

----------------------------------

(Please, feel free to continue if you're so inspired.)

Jesus Christ, that's inspired.

Though I don't have a Punto jersey, just a Punto bracelet. And a lock of his hair. Don't ask.

 

[Versatile]

Though I don't have a Punto jersey, just a Punto bracelet. And a lock of his hair. Don't ask.

It seems as though an SportsJournalists.com Secret Santa should have filled that void years ago.

 

[jlee]

5 Feet High & Rising​

[Act 1: The official SportsJournalists.com banquet hall is filling up. At least 75 people are in attendance, most seeking out familiar faces among the crowd. The banner streaming above the entrance reads, "Thanks For Not Quitting." The guest of honor has not arrived. The door swings open, and in walks a young woman wearing a baggy No. 8 Minnesota Twins jersey atop a long black dress. She's greeted by a woman in a colorful skirt and an older gentleman who was way overdressed for the occasion.]

21: So how was BYH's thing? Sorry we couldn't make it.
imjustagirl: Don't even ****ing bother. The asshole isn't dead, he just went missing. Had the nerve to show up at his own memorial service.
Frank_Ridgeway: Dickhead.
imjustagirl: On top of that, the dickhead said he couldn't come to this. Where the **** is 'Sote?
21: I have no idea.
Frank_Ridgeway: Mizzou said he heard on the Republican Radio Service that MisterCreosote would be a little late. Should be here soon.
imjustagirl: Sounds about right.
21: Well, you look great, Jagger. I'm going to go find Boom and make out or something.

[21 leaves Frank_Ridgeway and imjustagirl alone to a conversation about shoes, then three young men with ****-eating grins stop over. Frank_Ridgeway's Scotch is empty, so he leaves.]

Uncle.Ruckus: I can't even figure out why we're here.
Zeke12: Right. Two years ain't ****.
imjustagirl: How do you not grasp 'Sote's commitment problems?
dreunc1542: I hear he's a habitual quitter.
Zeke12: Is that why he never called me, maybe?
imjustagirl: You guys are idiots. I'm leaving.
Uncle.Ruckus: She must be on her period, like Dr. Pepper.

[imjustagirl extends her middle finger as she leaves the men, who are joined by an old fellow with a habitual scowl and a younger one drinking an Old Style.]

RickStain: Parties for anniversaries are illogical.
Uncle.Ruckus: I don't know. Seems like a good way to celebrate something important. I just don't find this asshole all that important.
RickStain: But there's always a next year, really even a next day. And we arbitrarily decided round numbers are important.
dreunc1542: Does it hurt, thinking that hard, Stain?
Starman: I don't even know why anyone would give a **** about that ****headed Republican dickwad.
Zeke12: Honestly, Starman, I only came to see you get drunk and fight YankeeFan.
Starman: That dickwad is here? I didn't smell coffee.

[Another older man approaches the group, and Uncle.Ruckus, Zeke12 and dreunc1542 depart to their own little corner.]

Moderator1: Calm down, Starman. Let's save the politics talk for another day.
Starman: ****ing cockmongers.
[Starman exits left]
Moderator1: So, Rick. Maybe you'd like to explain why the Cubs are a bunch of assholes now, aye?
RickStain: It's probably because the Nationals rub their good luck in the draft in everyone's faces in such an insufferable way. You didn't hear the Cubs making a big deal about shutting down Jeff Samardzija, did you?
Moderator1: Who?
RickStain: I can't wait till your team gets rocked in the first round by the Braves or Dodgers and that smug smile is wiped off every Nats fan's face.
[A young man with a plate of half-eaten sandwiches joins the conversation.]
RickStain (pointing): Especially this asshole.
JackReacher: Always a pleasure, Stain. Gio Gonzalez is great, isn't he, Moddy?
Moderator1: Sure is. I'm just giddy about this whole thing!

[RickStain leaves the Nats fans, then Moderator1 notices Frank_Ridgeway's shoes and feels compelled to compliment them. JackReacher stands around for a bit, sipping his 7 and 7, before a couple takes pity on him and comes over to talk.]

YGBFKM: Sonner, you look like a ****. Who wears a Redskins jersey in public?
JackReacher: Your shirt doesn't even have sleeves!
Care Bear: You do look like a ****, though, Sonner. Besides, you're definitely rooting for Kirk Cousins.
JackReacher: How's Brokeneck Manning doing?
Care Bear (being restrained by YGBFKM): I ****ing swear, Sonner.
JackReacher: Ha! Great to see you guys, though. Baby say anything disparaging about me lately?
YGBFKM: We try to ignore your existence, mostly.
Care Bear: But he does think 'Sote's a **** for showing up late to his own party. Besides, who the **** throws himself an anniversary party?
JackReacher: 'Sote's head is so far up his own ass that his **** don't stink anymore.
Care Bear: I bet his fiancée pegs him with the metal ***** from American Psycho.
YGBFKM: I heard he played punter in high school, but then quit.

[The door creeks open. A woman peeks her head in to tell everyone to be quiet. MisterCreosote has arrived]

----------------------------------

(Please, feel free to continue if you're so inspired.)

Holy ****.

Holy

****ing

****.

 

[spikechiquet]

I'm just here for the Kate Upon pics.