Today's headline contest

[User 1019]

My entry: "Plain Dealer tells Ace to 'choke on it' "

CLEVELAND — An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said.

Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr. Frank Miller told the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head, the coroner told The Morning Journal.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43744222/ns/us_news-weird_news/

 

[Mark McGwire]

He Died Doing What He Loved

 

[Killick]

"Mazzo-o-o-la! Porn goodness!"[/who'soldenoughtogetthis?]

 

[playthrough]

Cleveland's Most Normal Person Dies

 

[Killick]

In comments section, poster suggests the safe word was "picnic basket." Ha.

 

[btm]

Who the hell sleeps on waterbeds these days?

 

[Football_Bat]

Was it a brass waterbed?

 

[Mark McGwire]

Who the hell sleeps on waterbeds these days?

This headline sucks.

 

[bumpy mcgee]

Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you

 

[Care Bear]

Cleveland Steamer Stymied
Houdidn't

 

[heyabbott]

"Modell Dead"

 

[holy bull]

"Anti-Lebron Sentiment Lingers"

 

[MileHigh]

In comments section, poster suggests the safe word was "picnic basket." Ha.

Boo Boo is a prime suspect.

 

[bumpy mcgee]

"Anti-Lebron Sentiment Lingers"

Area man chokes, not LeBron

 

[fossywriter8]

Subhead to same story from area paper down the road:

Authorities uncover grizzly scene

 

[HanSenSE]

Subhead to same story from area paper down the road:

Authorities uncover grizzly scene

Ah, the first-ever meeting between the NBA team from Memphis, the minor league baseball team from Fresno and the teams from the Univesity of Montana.

 

[holy bull]

Subhead to same story from area paper down the road:

Authorities uncover grizzly scene

Ah, the first-ever meeting between the NBA team from Memphis, the minor league baseball team from Fresno and the teams from the Univesity of Montana.

And the softball team from the Pink *****cat

 

[SpeedTchr]

It was all fun and games until someone got hurt.

 

[imjustagirl]

"Modell Dead"

That made me laugh out loud.

 

[Ace]

Grizzly death doggy style


(and suck on it, bagsy!)