This is writing

[Alma]

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2013/8/29/4669874/the-business-of-protection

 

[Songbird]

Falstaffian and Vonnegut references in the first 500 words.

When do Kafka, Papa and Orwell make their appearances in the story?

 

[Alma]

Falstaffian and Vonnegut references in the first 500 words.

When do Kafka, Papa and Orwell make their appearances in the story?

I'm of the school that you can flout if you settle in. The story does.

 

[Songbird]

It does settle in. Not your everyday story.

Nicely done.

 

[FileNotFound]

Wow, that's a helluva read. Brought it back around nicely at the end.

 

[Versatile]

Spencer Hall is my favorite sports writer.

 

[JackReacher]

Spencer Hall is my favorite sports writer.

And one of the most annoying Twitter users on the planet.

 

[SockPuppet]

An excellent read. Another story I finish and say, "****ing ****, why should I even try anymore?"

 

[Gold]

An excellent read. Another story I finish and say, "****ing ****, why should I even try anymore?"

What it takes is time, space, and rewriting. Get all the details and use them.

 

[sprtswrtr10]

Well, I had to finish it once I began.

Liked it.
One thing I noticed.
But for the dialogue, the paragraphs, compared to what you usually see in the paper (and the way I usually write them in my paper) or quite a big a longer. It was just something I noticed and I think it worked to make the whole story move faster. You know, fewer returns keep the eyes busy. About the ending. It was a abrupt, but that also worked.

 

[Versatile]

Short paragraphs have bastardized newspaper sports writing. I blame the Los Angeles Times.

But to say this level of writing is a matter of "time, space and rewriting" is demeaning. For one, Hall oversees all of SB Nation's editorial operations as well as his own blog, which he posts on several times a day. Furthermore, there simply aren't many writers who can turn a phrase at his level.

It's the big stuff, like:

Hand would work under Rodriguez at Clemson, and then followed him to West Virginia when Rodriguez was hired to replace Don Nehlen. Hand would recruit, coach tight ends, and recruit, and do all of that in exactly that order, because recruiting is an important activity that sometimes is interrupted by bouts of college football. One of the places Hand recruited was the talent-glutted state of Florida, including Orlando, where on April 27th, 2006 something would hit him in the back of the head with an axe.

And it's the little stuff, like:

Hand could barely hold his head up.

Spencer Hall is a better writer than most people.

 

[93Devil]

I know we are talking about the story, but the design of this page was very odd. No pictures of the actual person and no actual mention of him in the head or sub.

The art shows a double hold and the other pic shows an OL screwing up.

I liked the story, but the layout was very strange.

 

[imjustagirl]

It's the big stuff, like:

Hand would work under Rodriguez at Clemson, and then followed him to West Virginia when Rodriguez was hired to replace Don Nehlen. Hand would recruit, coach tight ends, and recruit, and do all of that in exactly that order, because recruiting is an important activity that sometimes is interrupted by bouts of college football. One of the places Hand recruited was the talent-glutted state of Florida, including Orlando, where on April 27th, 2006 something would hit him in the back of the head with an axe.

I don't hate the "would" construction, unlike most, but if you're going to do it you have to be consistent. Don't give me "would work under ... and then followed" in the same sentence.

 

[Versatile]

It's an individual blog at SB Nation. The editing isn't very good (if it even exists at all). The writing is.

 

[imjustagirl]

The writing is what I'm seeing, right? If it's not edited?

 

[Versatile]

Yes, but you're pointing out something a good editor (such as yourself) would fix. We're looking at more or less raw copy here. Holding raw copy to the same standards as well-edited and vetted magazine stories is unfair.

 

[imjustagirl]

I don't think it's unfair when we're talking about the writing. And your suckup line won't work.