Steamed hams

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damnit! We're getting the 138th Episode Spectacular.

"What would you think, Smithers, if I came to your houes and started sniffing your butt?"
"You, sir?"

Steamed hams might be the most inspired bit of dialogue ever.
 
Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel
Most folk'll never lose a toe
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel
 
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Seymour Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[Chalmers enters and puts a bottle of wine on the table. Skinner walks into the kitchen to see smoke billowing from the oven. He opens the oven, and the roast bursts into flames.]
Seymour Skinner: Oh, yegods, my roast is ruined!
[Skinner looks out the kitchen window at the Krusty Burger across the street.]
Seymour Skinner: But what if ... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ... delightfully devlish, Seymour.
[Skinner begins to climb out the window but stops when Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
 
Buck said:
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Seymour Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[Chalmers enters and puts a bottle of wine on the table. Skinner walks into the kitchen to see smoke billowing from the oven. He opens the oven, and the roast bursts into flames.]
Seymour Skinner: Oh, yegods, my roast is ruined!
[Skinner looks out the kitchen window at the Krusty Burger across the street.]
Seymour Skinner: But what if ... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ... delightfully devlish, Seymour.
[Skinner begins to climb out the window but stops when Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Click to expand...

That might be the best couple of minutes in the show's history.
 
John said:
Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel
Most folk'll never lose a toe
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel
Click to expand...

reminds me of your old boss...
 
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Hey, everybody. It's the boy who likes to laugh at people. Let's laugh at him.
 
Buck said:
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Seymour Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[Chalmers enters and puts a bottle of wine on the table. Skinner walks into the kitchen to see smoke billowing from the oven. He opens the oven, and the roast bursts into flames.]
Seymour Skinner: Oh, yegods, my roast is ruined!
[Skinner looks out the kitchen window at the Krusty Burger across the street.]
Seymour Skinner: But what if ... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ... delightfully devlish, Seymour.
[Skinner begins to climb out the window but stops when Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Click to expand...

I knew we'd lure you over to our side eventually.

Welcome, friend!
 
John said:
Buck said:
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Seymour Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[Chalmers enters and puts a bottle of wine on the table. Skinner walks into the kitchen to see smoke billowing from the oven. He opens the oven, and the roast bursts into flames.]
Seymour Skinner: Oh, yegods, my roast is ruined!
[Skinner looks out the kitchen window at the Krusty Burger across the street.]
Seymour Skinner: But what if ... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ... delightfully devlish, Seymour.
[Skinner begins to climb out the window but stops when Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Click to expand...

That might be the best couple of minutes in the show's history.
Click to expand...

especialmente en Espanol.

 
The Good Doctor said:
Hey, everybody. It's the boy who likes to laugh at people. Let's laugh at him.
Click to expand...

3f18_grosser_mann_und_nelson.jpg
 
BYH said:
Buck said:
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Seymour Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[Chalmers enters and puts a bottle of wine on the table. Skinner walks into the kitchen to see smoke billowing from the oven. He opens the oven, and the roast bursts into flames.]
Seymour Skinner: Oh, yegods, my roast is ruined!
[Skinner looks out the kitchen window at the Krusty Burger across the street.]
Seymour Skinner: But what if ... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ... delightfully devlish, Seymour.
[Skinner begins to climb out the window but stops when Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Click to expand...

I knew we'd lure you over to our side eventually.

Welcome, friend!
Click to expand...

I've never been against 'The Simpsons.' It's just not as funny as 'Seinfeld.'
However, we can all agree that the steamed hams scene is comic gold.
That's gold, BYH. Gold.
 
I thought this was going to be about hitting the sauna after a long run.
 
BertoltBrecht said:
Just to save people some time:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4872052611777536043
Click to expand...

"This video is not available" -- my favorite ever!
 
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