So...tonight was my last night of the season umpiring slow-pitch softball......

[Chef]

Between May 1 and September 19, I umpired somewhere around 200 baseball and softball games.

A couple of brief highlights....had a 7-inning softball game with a final of 4-2 that started at 9:35 one night, and we walked off the field at 10:11.

The always memorable 48-hour softball tournament, in which I did 30 games in 2 days.

Tonight was fun, in that I saw my first 4-homerun game.......by one player.

In a 5-inning run rule, guy goes 4-4, (a 2-run HR, 2 3-run HR, and a Grand Slam)...not too bad.

Oh well.....the cleats and the umpiring shirts are put away for the year..now....to heal the corn in time for basketball season.

 

[friend of a friend]

By heal, do you mean a bottle of scotch and a Bowie knife?

 

[Chef]

By heal, do you mean a bottle of scotch and a Bowie knife?

 

[friend of a friend]

Let's do this!

 

[Chef]

Let's do this!

Not tonight; Perhaps Friday or Saturday night.

Ye Olde Chef is a touch sleepy, and not nearly intoxicated enough.

 

[Bullwinkle]

A couple of brief highlights....had a 7-inning softball game with a final of 4-2 that started at 9:35 one night, and we walked off the field at 10:11.

There's absolutely no way this happened. No way. That's an average of 2 minutes, 35 seconds per half inning. And that's without counting fielders having to run on and off in-between innings, etc.

If it was a 1-0 game, I might believe it. But six runs scored?

If you explain in further detail, I can be swayed. But until then ... ???

 

[Angola!]

A couple of brief highlights....had a 7-inning softball game with a final of 4-2 that started at 9:35 one night, and we walked off the field at 10:11.

There's absolutely no way this happened. No way. That's an average of 2 minutes, 35 seconds per half inning. And that's without counting fielders having to run on and off in-between innings, etc.

If it was a 1-0 game, I might believe it. But six runs scored?

If you explain in further detail, I can be swayed. But until then ... ???

Wouldn't the average go up a bit if the home team won?

Still seems unlikely, but you never know. In slow pitch softball there could be a few three-pitch innings.

 

[friend of a friend]

Don't doubt Chef.

He knows what he's doing.

Now, back to the self-mutilation...

 

[Bullwinkle]

Wouldn't the average go up a bit if the home team won?

Still seems unlikely, but you never know. In slow pitch softball there could be a few three-pitch innings.

So let's time it.

Change of inning. Fielders run off. 25 seconds. Batter grabs a bat. Walks into the batters box. We're at 1 minute. First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to dugout. New batter steps to the plate. Now we're at, what, 1:50? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to the dugout. Two out. New batter steps to the plate. 2:40? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Inning ends in 3 minutes.

Not seeing that sequence happening 13 times (which would still be 39 minutes). 

At an absolute minimum, it would probably take eight minutes to score four runs. Probably another four minutes to score the other two. That's 12 minutes devoted to one inning, leaving 24 minutes for the remaining six.

Suddenly, we're at two minute half-innings, and that's not even counting the time in-between. 

 

[friend of a friend]

Uh, you guys may be putting too much thought into this.

Maybe work on that cancer thing, instead.

 

[Angola!]

Wouldn't the average go up a bit if the home team won?

Still seems unlikely, but you never know. In slow pitch softball there could be a few three-pitch innings.

So let's time it.

Change of inning. Fielders run off. 25 seconds. Batter grabs a bat. Walks into the batters box. We're at 1 minute. First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to dugout. New batter steps to the plate. Now we're at, what, 1:50? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to the dugout. Two out. New batter steps to the plate. 2:40? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Inning ends in 3 minutes.

Not seeing that sequence happening 13 times.

Killjoy.

 

[Bullwinkle]

Oh, wait, I get it ...

Chef said "we walked off the field at 10:11."

Only to .... return to the field at 10:30, after a rain delay disrupted play in the fourth inning.

 

[Flash]

Ah Chef, I'm mildly jealous ... I have this weekend left to play and possibly next. I've been contemplating hanging up the cleats ... and a buddy is UIC for one of the association's. He's trying to coerce me into jumping into the fire there.

Not sure. Lots to think about over the winter.

The best thing I can say about this summer is that it was injury-free ... well, so far anyway.

 

[Chef]

Wouldn't the average go up a bit if the home team won?

Still seems unlikely, but you never know. In slow pitch softball there could be a few three-pitch innings.

So let's time it.

Change of inning. Fielders run off. 25 seconds. Batter grabs a bat. Walks into the batters box. We're at 1 minute. First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to dugout. New batter steps to the plate. Now we're at, what, 1:50? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Throws it in. Batter runs back to the dugout. Two out. New batter steps to the plate. 2:40? First pitch, swing. Ball in play. Caught. Inning ends in 3 minutes.

Not seeing that sequence happening 13 times (which would still be 39 minutes).

At an absolute minimum, it would probably take eight minutes to score four runs. Probably another four minutes to score the other two. That's 12 minutes devoted to one inning, leaving 24 minutes for the remaining six.

Suddenly, we're at two minute half-innings, and that's not even counting the time in-between.

We start with a 1-1 count....pitchers get no warm-up pitches in between.

Players know when they come up to bat......"Bring em to swing em."

 

[kingcreole]

What a shame that the Manatees had to fold their franchise. Man, I miss those nights Chef.

Did you see anyone attack their boss during a game?

 

[Bullwinkle]

We start with a 1-1 count....pitchers get no warm-up pitches in between.

Players know when they come up to bat......"Bring em to swing em."

OK, you win.

I believe you.