"So-and-so said, exclaimed, etc."

[Bucknutty]

The first rule I was taught in j-school was that you NEVER write things like exclaimed, laughed, shouted, etc. It's always "said," plain and simple, and that's a rule I've always followed.

I was surprised, then, to see this lede in an AP story on LeCharles Bentley:

Browns center LeCharles Bentley was cleared by his surgeon to return to the playing field Monday, another major step in his unexpected comeback from a career-threatening knee injury.

``I passed it,'' Bentley said excitedly on the phone from New York. ``I'm good to go.''

I know the AP isn't the gospel or anything, but was I taught wrong? I would never consider writing "said excitedly" and assumed that was the case for all other writers.

 

[imjustagirl2]

Um, they did say said. They added an adverb.

They didn't say he exclaimed, or shouted, or hinted. They said said.

 

[Ace]

Perhaps they should have went with "yelped."

 

[MertWindu]

I'm with ijag. Use an adverb if you really need to convey tone, but not a different verb. Said, said, said.

 

[bigpern23]

I'm with ijag. Use an adverb if you really need to convey tone, but not a different verb. Said, said, said.

Bingo ... and it's not something I'd do often, but particularly in a case where someone says something that could be taken one way or another depending on how they said it, I'll throw in adverb.

For instance I was doing a story about five local baseball managers who had all played with or against one another when they were younger. There was some trash talking during the interview, but all in good fun. When I included one particular quote, I wrote, "manager X said jokingly." If not, readers would have thought he was being a ****, when he was in fact just kidding around.

 

[Ace]

I would like to see a story where someone used guffawed, peeped, exclaimed, snorted, chortled, etc. instead of said.

 

[Bucknutty]

Then I have learned something today. I didn't think I was ever supposed to say things like "said excitedly," but I see that's not the case. I always felt that was injecting my opinion into the story, which is why I've avoided it.

 

[Ace]

Then I have learned something today. I didn't think I was ever supposed to say things like "said excitedly," but I see that's not the case. I always felt that was injecting my opinion into the story, which is why I've avoided it.

That's description. Especially as a sports writer you should be able to use a bit of your opinion/observations when writing a story.

For example, if you were covering a high school football game, I think it would be fine to write something like:

The overmatched Cougars failed to get a first down in the second half.

 

[MilanWall]

At least the writer didn't use "ejaculated."

 

[imjustagirl2]

Then I have learned something today. I didn't think I was ever supposed to say things like "said excitedly," but I see that's not the case. I always felt that was injecting my opinion into the story, which is why I've avoided it.

What Ace said. You're conveying the tone of the person who said it, not adding opinion. Now if you said "Bentley said in his usual sniveling way" then maybe that's much. But "excitedly" is expressing to the reader that he's raring to go and helps express the emotion behind a very "blah" quote.

Read it again without the excitedly. Boring quote, right? He could have been yawning while saying it. That one word helps show he's not.

 

[alleyallen]

I found that there are only a few journalism rules so ironclad that you should never violate them. This isn't one of them.

(uh-oh...I smell a potential thread in that)

 

[Ike Broflovski]

Then I have learned something today. I didn't think I was ever supposed to say things like "said excitedly," but I see that's not the case. I always felt that was injecting my opinion into the story, which is why I've avoided it.

That's description. Especially as a sports writer you should be able to use a bit of your opinion/observations when writing a story.

For example, if you were covering a high school football game, I think it would be fine to write something like:

The overmatched Cougars failed to get a first down in the second half.

Wouldn't the reader be able to figure out that the Cougars were overmatched if they failed to get a first down in the second half?

 

[Ace]

Then I have learned something today. I didn't think I was ever supposed to say things like "said excitedly," but I see that's not the case. I always felt that was injecting my opinion into the story, which is why I've avoided it.

That's description. Especially as a sports writer you should be able to use a bit of your opinion/observations when writing a story.

For example, if you were covering a high school football game, I think it would be fine to write something like:

The overmatched Cougars failed to get a first down in the second half.

Wouldn't the reader be able to figure out that the Cougars were overmatched if they failed to get a first down in the second half?

Hopefully, but I didn't want to use my good stuff.

 

[Write-brained]

I agree with IJAG et. al. but I'll throw another possibility out there ... asked.

I feel funny writing, "What am I going to do now that my house burned down?" Harry Potter said.

I've done it both ways but I'll be honest I'm partial to "asked" when there's a question, even though the punctuation clearly indicates a question.

If I'm covering a meeting I will more likely than not put "asked" in this situation, "What the hell are you guys doing about pig farms in my neighborhood?" Hermione Granger asked the council.

I don't remember asked ever getting changed in any of my stories.

Is that a pet peeve for anyone here?

 

[imjustagirl2]

Nope. That's fine.

But not "questioned" or "queried" or "wondered" or any of those.

I'm fine with "said" and "asked."

 

[BTExpress]

Wouldn't the reader be able to figure out that the Cougars were overmatched if they failed to get a first down in the second half?

Well, if the other team didn't score, either, then the team wasn't overmatched (although its offense may have been).

Also, they could have had a gaggle of silly turnovers, which could mean carelessness and/or incompetence but may not have meant they were overmatched.

But if the score was something like 38-3, then, yeah, it was already apparent they were overmatched.

But not "questioned" or "queried" or "wondered" or any of those.

I'm going to have to disagree on this one.

I don't think he is really ASKING "What am I going to do now that my house burned down?"

It's not like he's expecting anyone to give him an answer.

I think "wondering" is exactly what he's doing in this case.

 

[Write-brained]

Wouldn't the reader be able to figure out that the Cougars were overmatched if they failed to get a first down in the second half?

Well, if the other team didn't score, either, then the team wasn't overmatched (although its offense may have been).

Also, they could have had a gaggle of silly turnovers, which could mean carelessness and/or incompetence but may not have meant they were overmatched.

But if the score was something like 38-3, then, yeah, it was already apparent they were overmatched.

But not "questioned" or "queried" or "wondered" or any of those.

I'm going to have to disagree on this one.

I don't think he is really ASKING "What am I going to do now that my house burned down?"

It's not like he's expecting anyone to give him an answer.

I think "wondering" is exactly what he's doing in this case.

Point taken, but I'd rather use said than wondered.

 

[Ace]

I feel funny writing, "What am I going to do now that my house burned down?" Harry Potter said.

Dammit, no spoilers!

I am leery of asked.

I think the question mark conveys it. But if it's a special case -- you are quoting him talking to family or firefighter or somesuch -- you need to say that he asked his mother/the firemen/etc.

 

[Cosmo]

"That's just Manny being Manny," grunted Manny while squeezing out a deuce. "So there you go."

 

[mike311gd]

It's got to be part writer's idea and part paper's style to some degree. I remember covering a high school football game last season and I stayed over at a friend's house that Friday night. On Saturday, I looked at my paper's Web site to check out my story, which included "said" all the way through, and I grabbed the hometown newspaper off the coffee table; its story on the same game did not repeat one attribution -- ranging from said to exclaimed, to lamented ..."

I stopped reading anything but the quotes half-way through.