Road Rage, Russian Style

[JR]

This is a shorter version of the one I saw on Twitter last night

He brought a baseball bat to an axe fight!

Seriously, this is ****ed up .



Extreme as it may be, the guy you give the finger to may be a first class psycho.

Any good road rage stories out there?

 

[SpeedTchr]

I wondered why he kept saying, "You want an attempted battery charge?"

Maybe he was just trying to give you a jump?

 

[schiezainc]

My proudest road rage moment came about four years ago now.

My brother and I and a number of our friends all went to Six Flags: New England for the day. It was in the middle of summer and, like all cheapskates do, we got to the park a half-hour before it opened, spent all day running around to the point of exhaustion, and left at closing.

Anyway, we're absolutely exhausted and starving and have about a 90-minute ride home ahead of us so we go to Burger King for some food before hitting the Mass Turnpike and heading out. We decided to eat in the car since we just wanted to get home at this point and I'm not driving for three minutes before we almost get killed by this as*hole who decides to cut right in front of me as we approach the entry lane for the toll before getting on the Turnpike.

Maybe it was my feeling of invincibility being that I was 23 at the time, maybe it was the hot sun playing with my mind but I decided I wasn't going to let this guy nearly run me off the road so I tell my carload of people to buckle up and I speed right up to this clown's bumper. He switches lanes and, suddenly, we're side-by-side and I'm letting him have it, honking on my horn, flipping him off, calling him all sorts of derogatory names for the female reproductive organs.

Anyway, the guy flips me off and, now, I've had it. I tell my brother, who's in the passenger's seat, to duck and roll his window down. I take the half-eaten burger that was in my hands and huck it out the window, hitting his driver's side portion of the windsheild and yell out "Have it your way, motherf*cker!".

To this day, I can't imagine what was going through that guy's mind as he sees a cheeseburger come hurling at his car but, you know what? I felt damn good about myself in that moment, both for my aim and for making a memory that, to this day, my friends don't let me live down.

Would I do that again? Depends on how pissed off I was.

 

[Bubbler]

My proudest road rage moment came about four years ago now.

My brother and I and a number of our friends all went to Six Flags: New England for the day. It was in the middle of summer and, like all cheapskates do, we got to the park a half-hour before it opened, spent all day running around to the point of exhaustion, and left at closing.

Anyway, we're absolutely exhausted and starving and have about a 90-minute ride home ahead of us so we go to Burger King for some food before hitting the Mass Turnpike and heading out. We decided to eat in the car since we just wanted to get home at this point and I'm not driving for three minutes before we almost get killed by this as*hole who decides to cut right in front of me as we approach the entry lane for the toll before getting on the Turnpike.

Maybe it was my feeling of invincibility being that I was 23 at the time, maybe it was the hot sun playing with my mind but I decided I wasn't going to let this guy nearly run me off the road so I tell my carload of people to buckle up and I speed right up to this clown's bumper. He switches lanes and, suddenly, we're side-by-side and I'm letting him have it, honking on my horn, flipping him off, calling him all sorts of derogatory names for the female reproductive organs.

Anyway, the guy flips me off and, now, I've had it. I tell my brother, who's in the passenger's seat, to duck and roll his window down. I take the half-eaten burger that was in my hands and huck it out the window, hitting his driver's side portion of the windsheild and yell out "Have it your way, motherf*cker!".

To this day, I can't imagine what was going through that guy's mind as he sees a cheeseburger come hurling at his car but, you know what? I felt damn good about myself in that moment, both for my aim and for making a memory that, to this day, my friends don't let me live down.

Would I do that again? Depends on how pissed off I was.

Throwing **** at cars is HILARIOUS!

 

[Batman]

Was going to dinner with my roommate one night. There was a stretch of road where two lanes became one because of construction, and I was in the lane that was ending. This car on my blind spot was hanging back, so I figured he was going to let me merge, but right as soon as I went to fill in the gap he speeds up and cuts me off.
Annoyed, I yelled out, "Asshole!" very loudly.
It was spring and my windows were down. Apparently, so were his.
The car gets about two lengths ahead and comes to a dead stop. This guy who's about 6-2, ripped like an MMA fighter and angry as the Incredible Hulk on meth jumps out of the passenger seat and starts coming toward my car.
I pretty much **** my pants.
The guy got to my hood and was yelling at me before his buddy hopped out of the driver's seat, reined him in and probably saved my life. I kept a nervous eye on my car all through dinner, convinced the guy was going to find us and smash it up.
I was pretty careful about yelling obscenities in traffic for a long time after that.

 

[dooley_womack1]

In Russia, finger gives you driver.

 

[Riptide]

schiezainc, did you offer him fries with that?

 

[Moderator1]

My proudest road rage moment came about four years ago now.

My brother and I and a number of our friends all went to Six Flags: New England for the day. It was in the middle of summer and, like all cheapskates do, we got to the park a half-hour before it opened, spent all day running around to the point of exhaustion, and left at closing.

Anyway, we're absolutely exhausted and starving and have about a 90-minute ride home ahead of us so we go to Burger King for some food before hitting the Mass Turnpike and heading out. We decided to eat in the car since we just wanted to get home at this point and I'm not driving for three minutes before we almost get killed by this as*hole who decides to cut right in front of me as we approach the entry lane for the toll before getting on the Turnpike.

Maybe it was my feeling of invincibility being that I was 23 at the time, maybe it was the hot sun playing with my mind but I decided I wasn't going to let this guy nearly run me off the road so I tell my carload of people to buckle up and I speed right up to this clown's bumper. He switches lanes and, suddenly, we're side-by-side and I'm letting him have it, honking on my horn, flipping him off, calling him all sorts of derogatory names for the female reproductive organs.

Anyway, the guy flips me off and, now, I've had it. I tell my brother, who's in the passenger's seat, to duck and roll his window down. I take the half-eaten burger that was in my hands and huck it out the window, hitting his driver's side portion of the windsheild and yell out "Have it your way, motherf*cker!".

To this day, I can't imagine what was going through that guy's mind as he sees a cheeseburger come hurling at his car but, you know what? I felt damn good about myself in that moment, both for my aim and for making a memory that, to this day, my friends don't let me live down.

Would I do that again? Depends on how pissed off I was.

Wow

I guess I should no longer be amazed after all the years of the board. But I remain amazed at what some people are willing to reveal about themselves


As Bubbler noted: Hilarious.

 

[BDC99]

Was driving a U-Haul on the interstate one time when I was moving to my current stop, and there was a cop in front of me. He hits the lights to pull the car in front of him over, and the jackass jams on the brakes immediately to pull off the LEFT side of the highway. I'm doing about 65 in a truck much larger than anything I had driven before, so I freaked out and laid on the horn. My buddy in the passenger seat about **** himself and couldn't believe I did that to a cop. But in my mind I was doing it to the moron who almost made me rear-end the cop.

And while I have never done anything like schieza, I could see myself doing that when I was 23. Funny.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I'd just come out of this small gas station that had two pumps on each side. There was a car ahead of me at the other pump with the guy inside paying, and while I had gone inside to pay, another car pulled up behind me and was waiting.

I climb inside, start putting my seatbelt on, and the idiot behind me honks his horn. I think nothing of it and finish buckling up and start up my car. Then the guy honks his horn again. I look through my rearview mirror and he's gesturing at me to hurry up.

Honestly, I was only in my car about 30 seconds, tops. I flipped the guy off for rushing me, then pulled around the car in front to the exit. I had to make a left hand turn, and as soon as I get in the road, I see the idiot from behind running out into the road to try to get my car. I drive by him and look in my mirror. He's gesturing me to come back.

I don't know what got into me, but I stopped in the road (it was late at night, no traffic). Dumbass actually starts running to my car. I wait until he's almost there, then I drive off a hundred feet or so. He continues to run, I wait again until he's near, and drive off again. This happens another couple of times.

By this point, I'm both scared and laughing my ass off at this jackoff. Finally, he screams something and starts running to his car, which by now, had lost its spot in line because another car had come in from a restaurant near the gas station and cut in front of him, and the first car was still sitting in the same spot.

Jackoff looks at me, I put my arm out the windown and flip him again, then I drive off.

 

[dooley_womack1]

My proudest road rage moment came about four years ago now.

My brother and I and a number of our friends all went to Six Flags: New England for the day. It was in the middle of summer and, like all cheapskates do, we got to the park a half-hour before it opened, spent all day running around to the point of exhaustion, and left at closing.

Anyway, we're absolutely exhausted and starving and have about a 90-minute ride home ahead of us so we go to Burger King for some food before hitting the Mass Turnpike and heading out. We decided to eat in the car since we just wanted to get home at this point and I'm not driving for three minutes before we almost get killed by this as*hole who decides to cut right in front of me as we approach the entry lane for the toll before getting on the Turnpike.

Maybe it was my feeling of invincibility being that I was 23 at the time, maybe it was the hot sun playing with my mind but I decided I wasn't going to let this guy nearly run me off the road so I tell my carload of people to buckle up and I speed right up to this clown's bumper. He switches lanes and, suddenly, we're side-by-side and I'm letting him have it, honking on my horn, flipping him off, calling him all sorts of derogatory names for the female reproductive organs.

Anyway, the guy flips me off and, now, I've had it. I tell my brother, who's in the passenger's seat, to duck and roll his window down. I take the half-eaten burger that was in my hands and huck it out the window, hitting his driver's side portion of the windsheild and yell out "Have it your way, motherf*cker!".

To this day, I can't imagine what was going through that guy's mind as he sees a cheeseburger come hurling at his car but, you know what? I felt damn good about myself in that moment, both for my aim and for making a memory that, to this day, my friends don't let me live down.

Would I do that again? Depends on how pissed off I was.

Wow

I guess I should no longer be amazed after all the years of the board. But I remain amazed at what some people are willing to reveal about themselves


As Bubbler noted: Hilarious.

For sure. Why the heck would you waste a perfectly good burger?

 

[BDC99]

Was thinking the same thing. He was so tired and hungry.

 

[BDC99]

I wait until he's almost there, then I drive off a hundred feet or so. He continues to run, I wait again until he's near, and drive off again. This happens another couple of times.

Not sure I'm buying this part. Guy must have been a moran.

 

[imjustagirl]

My proudest road rage moment came about four years ago now.

My brother and I and a number of our friends all went to Six Flags: New England for the day. It was in the middle of summer and, like all cheapskates do, we got to the park a half-hour before it opened, spent all day running around to the point of exhaustion, and left at closing.

Anyway, we're absolutely exhausted and starving and have about a 90-minute ride home ahead of us so we go to Burger King for some food before hitting the Mass Turnpike and heading out. We decided to eat in the car since we just wanted to get home at this point and I'm not driving for three minutes before we almost get killed by this as*hole who decides to cut right in front of me as we approach the entry lane for the toll before getting on the Turnpike.

Maybe it was my feeling of invincibility being that I was 23 at the time, maybe it was the hot sun playing with my mind but I decided I wasn't going to let this guy nearly run me off the road so I tell my carload of people to buckle up and I speed right up to this clown's bumper. He switches lanes and, suddenly, we're side-by-side and I'm letting him have it, honking on my horn, flipping him off, calling him all sorts of derogatory names for the female reproductive organs.

Anyway, the guy flips me off and, now, I've had it. I tell my brother, who's in the passenger's seat, to duck and roll his window down. I take the half-eaten burger that was in my hands and huck it out the window, hitting his driver's side portion of the windsheild and yell out "Have it your way, motherf*cker!".

To this day, I can't imagine what was going through that guy's mind as he sees a cheeseburger come hurling at his car but, you know what? I felt damn good about myself in that moment, both for my aim and for making a memory that, to this day, my friends don't let me live down.

Would I do that again? Depends on how pissed off I was.

Wow

I guess I should no longer be amazed after all the years of the board. But I remain amazed at what some people are willing to reveal about themselves


As Bubbler noted: Hilarious.

For sure. Why the heck would you waste a perfectly good burger?

He didn't. It was Burger King.

 

[Riptide]

I'd just come out of this small gas station that had two pumps on each side. There was a car ahead of me at the other pump with the guy inside paying, and while I had gone inside to pay, another car pulled up behind me and was waiting.

I climb inside, start putting my seatbelt on, and the idiot behind me honks his horn. I think nothing of it and finish buckling up and start up my car. Then the guy honks his horn again. I look through my rearview mirror and he's gesturing at me to hurry up.

Honestly, I was only in my car about 30 seconds, tops. I flipped the guy off for rushing me, then pulled around the car in front to the exit. I had to make a left hand turn, and as soon as I get in the road, I see the idiot from behind running out into the road to try to get my car. I drive by him and look in my mirror. He's gesturing me to come back.

I don't know what got into me, but I stopped in the road (it was late at night, no traffic). Dumbass actually starts running to my car. I wait until he's almost there, then I drive off a hundred feet or so. He continues to run, I wait again until he's near, and drive off again. This happens another couple of times.

By this point, I'm both scared and laughing my ass off at this jackoff. Finally, he screams something and starts running to his car, which by now, had lost its spot in line because another car had come in from a restaurant near the gas station and cut in front of him, and the first car was still sitting in the same spot.

Jackoff looks at me, I put my arm out the windown and flip him again, then I drive off.

Awesome. I've been waiting my whole life for a shot at that.

 

[schiezainc]

schiezainc, did you offer him fries with that?

I'd already eaten the fries and did it primarily so I could say that "Have it your way" line which I thought of at about the exact same time he cut me off. Not saying it was one of my smartest moments but definitely one the funniest.

 

[Lieslntx]

In reference to the original clip: Was it really necessary to hide the baseball bat UNDER the carpet in the back of the trunk? It's not like it's an Uzi.

 

[forever_town]

He didn't. It was Burger King.

+1

 

[Riptide]

He didn't. It was Burger King.

+1

A Whopper of a story, though.