RIP Junior Seau

[Dick Whitman]

I echo what LTL and BYH have said, in terms of why we are equipped to handle this.

Plus, as far as a death being somehow newsworthy, I think that we also understand the media's job and aren't as likely to lash out and be adversarial about it. Essentially, we could very easily switch into a media relations hat in a time of crisis. Compare that to others in the public, who flip the **** out if "the media" even has the audacity to hard question a coach about the starting quarterback battle.

 

[HC]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

Been there. And your ability to put words together is going to help you more than you could imagine. Anyone else is going to have to overcome the emotions AND write and say something that's going to be heard by so many people and live on forever. Public speaking is a horrifying fear for so, so many people, and you already know how to do it. Writing, also, is a fear -- putting yourself out there for something so emotional. And then there's the process itself; for someone who doesn't write regularly, even a 500-word essay can be a daunting task and they will stare at a blank page for an hour.

So, in short, you will knock it out of the park.

I hadn't thought in the what-if terms of being in the center of a family tragedy that demanded news coverage, but yeah, when it comes down to it, I'd be the only one I trusted to speak on my family's behalf.

This is the word-for-word truth. SOMETHING--and the two of you know more than anyone here I don't believe in a higher power--will guide you to write and deliver the eulogy that pays the proper tribute to your loved one. If you cry, that is OK. But don't be stunned if you find a soothing sense of calm come over you as you speak. I felt my Mom's presence as I was speaking (****, thank you for the kind words, but it was my Mom).

Just add my experience when asked to sing at my grandmother's funeral. Was sure I couldn't do it but in that moment I was strangely calm. There was a voice in my head reminding me that I wasn't singing for me, I was singing for her and for everyone there who loved her. I'm not a religious person either but I felt Oma standing there with me.

 

[exmediahack]

I am surrounded by stories of early (often violent) death. So much so that I probably think of it too much. I am ready to speak publicly on anyone's behalf if they touched my life.

Perhaps this is OCD on my end but I have also recorded videos for all three kids on their various life milestones (graduation, college, marriage, landing a job, buying a home, coping with depression). Each kid has their own set on a thumb drive.

I just don't want anything that needed to be said to not be heard.

 

[MrBSquared]

I wonder if with all the added focus and attention in recent years on head injuries and concussions if players begin to retire from collision sports like football sooner. Obviously for those who have never won a title there is always going to be that void so they end up hanging on a little longer than they should to chase a ring, but maybe a death like Seau's - especially if it turns out there were some underlying head injury issues - is enough to scare players to give up he game knowing they could still play quality years.

To wit: Now former San Diego Charger lineman Kris Dielman (one of the meanest, toughest SOBs I ever knew and a really good guy), who just stepped away with time on his contract and money on the table after last season's concussion-gate. If they have made their "bank" -- and can ensure their families are taken care of -- I see it happening more and more in the future.

 

[MrBSquared]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

Been there. And your ability to put words together is going to help you more than you could imagine. Anyone else is going to have to overcome the emotions AND write and say something that's going to be heard by so many people and live on forever. Public speaking is a horrifying fear for so, so many people, and you already know how to do it. Writing, also, is a fear -- putting yourself out there for something so emotional. And then there's the process itself; for someone who doesn't write regularly, even a 500-word essay can be a daunting task and they will stare at a blank page for an hour.

So, in short, you will knock it out of the park.

I hadn't thought in the what-if terms of being in the center of a family tragedy that demanded news coverage, but yeah, when it comes down to it, I'd be the only one I trusted to speak on my family's behalf.

This is the word-for-word truth. SOMETHING--and the two of you know more than anyone here I don't believe in a higher power--will guide you to write and deliver the eulogy that pays the proper tribute to your loved one. If you cry, that is OK. But don't be stunned if you find a soothing sense of calm come over you as you speak. I felt my Mom's presence as I was speaking (****, thank you for the kind words, but it was my Mom).

Ditto. My mother asked me to give my father's eulogy 18 years ago and I can remember every word, every feeling and every tear. But you do it -- not because you are the eloquent one, but because of the love and respect and pure emotion you feel. Cry. Don't cry. Won't change a thing. The feelings are still there, and we each handle them in our own way. But, you will handle them, and you will do right by your loved one. It's your last great gift, a remittance for the love and support and memories.

And even with being in the biz, I think I would have to politely tell anyone asking for an interview during a time like this to bugger off ... but with respect.

 

[proudpittsburgher]

Listened to some sports talk radio in the last two hours. The treatment of this story is almost a non-issue with most shows.

Chris Russo on Mad Dog Sports Radio on Sirius/XM blew his gasket about it. Said he didn't want anyone on his channel talking about it because it just happened. When his co-host challenged him about when the proper time to address it was, he said it should never be discussed because it's not a sports issue. This was pretty much a 15 minute screaming match.

Wow. So no one dies in Russo's sports world, eh?

I don't know how this is NOT sports story. Not saying it isn't a news story, because it is, but this is most definitely a sports story.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

Been there. And your ability to put words together is going to help you more than you could imagine. Anyone else is going to have to overcome the emotions AND write and say something that's going to be heard by so many people and live on forever. Public speaking is a horrifying fear for so, so many people, and you already know how to do it. Writing, also, is a fear -- putting yourself out there for something so emotional. And then there's the process itself; for someone who doesn't write regularly, even a 500-word essay can be a daunting task and they will stare at a blank page for an hour.

So, in short, you will knock it out of the park.

I hadn't thought in the what-if terms of being in the center of a family tragedy that demanded news coverage, but yeah, when it comes down to it, I'd be the only one I trusted to speak on my family's behalf.

This is the word-for-word truth. SOMETHING--and the two of you know more than anyone here I don't believe in a higher power--will guide you to write and deliver the eulogy that pays the proper tribute to your loved one. If you cry, that is OK. But don't be stunned if you find a soothing sense of calm come over you as you speak. I felt my Mom's presence as I was speaking (****, thank you for the kind words, but it was my Mom).

Ditto. My mother asked me to give my father's eulogy 18 years ago and I can remember every word, every feeling and every tear. But you do it -- not because you are the eloquent one, but because of the love and respect and pure emotion you feel. Cry. Don't cry. Won't change a thing. The feelings are still there, and we each handle them in our own way. But, you will handle them, and you will do right by your loved one. It's your last great gift, a remittance for the love and support and memories.

And even with being in the biz, I think I would have to politely tell anyone asking for an interview during a time like this to bugger off ... but with respect.

If you guys were Catholic you wouldn't have to worry about it ...

That can be both a blessing and a curse.

 

[deskslave]

Story doesn't say whether he requested it, but Seau's family will donate his brain to research.

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/chaplain-seaus-brain-donated-research-144952273--nfl.html;_ylt=Av1rYarSXGwKC6DugBqoAY45nYcB

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I haven't read this whole thread so I apologize if I'm hitting points that have already been made, but the way he shot himself was so obviously symbolic that we're going to find out after the research is done that he has all kinds of brain damage as a result of playing and that's what caused him to kill himself.

I truly, truly fear we're going to see a lot of this in the upcoming years of players who are dealing with issues from the concussions who will take their own lives in the way that Seau and Duerson did to show the league the damage concussions are causing.

I don't know what the league can do to help prevent more of this from happening, but they better start doing something now. The days of shaking off a concussion and getting back into the game should be long over.

 

[Elliotte Friedman]

Horrible story. RIP.

Honestly don't know what to make of the concussion story. It could be a factor, absolutely, and it is an enormous issue facing so many sports. But, whenever I hear about a story like Seau's, I wonder if the issue is brain trauma or just that a 43-year-old man used to a certain way of life and attention couldn't handle it when all of that changed.

Post-retirement life is so different for athletes. Many of them can't handle it...and there are legitimate questions about whether or not they are properly prepared for it. Several hockey players say the moment you hang up the skates, the NHLPA stops caring about you. That's awful.

 

[YGBFKM]

Good post, Elliotte. As much as a star athlete has to deal with physical effects post-career, the mental and psychological effects may be an even greater factor in the struggles many face away from the spotlight.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

Horrible story. RIP.

Honestly don't know what to make of the concussion story. It could be a factor, absolutely, and it is an enormous issue facing so many sports. But, whenever I hear about a story like Seau's, I wonder if the issue is brain trauma or just that a 43-year-old man used to a certain way of life and attention couldn't handle it when all of that changed.

Post-retirement life is so different for athletes. Many of them can't handle it...and there are legitimate questions about whether or not they are properly prepared for it. Several hockey players say the moment you hang up the skates, the NHLPA stops caring about you. That's awful.

There's part of me that hopes it was concussion-related. I hate to think that a guy like Seau secretly battled depression or that he was having that much trouble adjusting to life away from the game.

Was he recently divorced?

 

[Mizzougrad96]

Good post, Elliotte. As much as a star athlete has to deal with physical effects post-career, the mental and psychological effects may be an even greater factor in the struggles many face away from the spotlight.

I would understand a little more when it comes to a player who will be forgotten the second he retires. That was never going to be the case for Seau, but that doesn't mean it was any easier for him to take.

 

[LongTimeListener]

Seau's former teammate, Gary Plummer, suggests mandatory retirement counseling for all players. Plummer also has a headline-grabber: He says that according to current protocols, in which "seeing stars" is a Grade 1 concussion, a linebacker like him or Seau would have had probably 1,500 concussions.

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_20542619/former-seau-teammate-gary-plummer-he-was-crying

That's obviously a huge part of the problem, deciding what is and isn't a concussion. I mean, they would never finish a season if everything was defined that stringently. But the idea that Seau NEVER had a concussion is just insane.

 

[WriteThinking]

It bothers me that people are talking about this suicide as if it was caused by concussions. I highly doubt it.

Suicide is a selfish, attention-getting and emotional but purposeful response to a lack of inner strength or ability to cope with whatever circumstances have arisen to bring a person to that point. It is usually depression-driven or brought on by something for which a person sees no hope, solution or resolution.

I can only wonder what there was in Seau's life that would fit that description...to the point that he'd text his ex-wife and kids that "I love you," one day, and then shoot himself the next (god, I feel for those left behind) -- other than, maybe, his loss of identity that may have come with the loss of football.

I wouldn't read too much into Seau's shooting himself in the chest instead of blowing his brains out, either, unless there's some note or message that's been left to the effect that he was doing that specifically so his brain could be studied. Otherwise, his brain just as easily could have been studied when he died of more natural causes. Couldn't it?

Shooting yourself in the chest can be conceived and perceived more as an "injury" than can blowing your brains out. It would take a lot of guts to do that if you are thinking at all (as Seau apparently was, if he was cognizant enough to be messaging his family and planning this) and if you do it, there is likely much more of a real sense that "you," or the essence of "you," does not exist anymore, and never did. Someone may feel like they want to die, but that is not the same as wishing they never existed.

To my knowledge, Seau wasn't like Dave Deuerson in speaking or acting out previously about concerns over concussions, and he wasn't a guy for whom that was a "cause."

Seau's family is probably giving an OK to do a brain study as a post-death decision not unlike donating any other parts of a deceased person's body. I doubt they really believe that a concussion brought on this suicide.

And I doubt that is what will be found as a result of any study.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

Then why did he shoot himself in the chest?

Not to be morbid, but I have to think that was symbolic because if all he wanted was to die, the quickest way is through the head. How often do you hear about someone shooting themself in the chest?

Just typing that gave me chills...

I just wonder if he was experiencing problems and found out that it was only going to get worse... Maybe he didn't want to let himself get to the level where Duerson was.

 

[HanSenSE]

Good points by Elliotte, LTL and Write Thinking. There may very well be several factors involved: Concussions, family issues, financial issues (last time I was in San Diego, about eight years ago, there was a restaurant/sports bar with his name on it near the Murpy), and, to oversimplify, NFL postpartum blues.

Seau's family will allow his brains to be examined, I understand. I hope that in any postmortem exams, all factors are weighed, instead of this being rubberstamped "concussions" as the sole reason.

 

[LongTimeListener]

It bothers me that people are talking about this suicide as if it was caused by concussions. I highly doubt it.

Suicide is a selfish, attention-getting and emotional but purposeful response to a lack of inner strength or ability to cope with whatever circumstances have arisen to bring a person to that point. It is usually depression-driven or brought on by something for which a person sees no hope, solution or resolution.

The researchers say concussions -- or CTE if you prefer, since that is more of the general damage to the brain and not necessarily related to what we'd call a concussion -- can cause depression.

 

[WriteThinking]

Then why did he shoot himself in the chest?

Not to be morbid, but I have to think that was symbolic because if all he wanted was to die, the quickest way is through the head. How often do you hear about someone shooting themself in the chest?

Just typing that gave me chills...

I just wonder if he was experiencing problems and found out that it was only going to get worse... Maybe he didn't want to let himself get to the level where Duerson was.

Maybe he didn't have the guts to do that? Maybe he didn't really want to die?

I don't know. No one ever will, barring some new evidence or news.

But I have little doubt that, had he said more than "I love you," in those texts to the family, and had he given anyone a chance to talk him out of any suicide attempt, they probably would have been able to do it.

Wanting to kill, either others or self, is usually a very temporary thought process. That's why the wait period to buy guns, that's why people try to talk people down, etc. Most people don't truly want to kill themselves. In fact, they are not realizing or truly understanding exactly what that even really means -- that it's final, permanent, irreversible, done, The End.

If they'd get it, they wouldn't do it.

If Seau thought his mother was, or is, ever going to react differently than the horribly heart-wrenching way she did, he wouldn't have done it. If he truly understood that his kids -- whom he purposely texted that he loved -- will never see him again, ever, he woudn't have done it.

 

[WriteThinking]

It bothers me that people are talking about this suicide as if it was caused by concussions. I highly doubt it.

Suicide is a selfish, attention-getting and emotional but purposeful response to a lack of inner strength or ability to cope with whatever circumstances have arisen to bring a person to that point. It is usually depression-driven or brought on by something for which a person sees no hope, solution or resolution.

The researchers say concussions -- or CTE if you prefer, since that is more of the general damage to the brain and not necessarily related to what we'd call a concussion -- can cause depression.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see, then.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think people should be playing football too much or too soon after experience concussions, and it's not that I doubt that they are serious injuries.

But I have studied psychology -- I have a degree in it, along with journalism -- and I have some experience with depression and the treatment of it, myself, and, in that experience, suicide is more a failure to cope, and a failure of strength/courage/personal development, and, in the end, a failure of self-responsibility, than anything else.