RIP Junior Seau

[Flying Headbutt]

When I've been in that situation, and thankfully it's been rare, I always just ask what they liked about that person, or for a story that sticks with them. Basically, what they remember about that person they're grieving over. And I've found people tend to want to share those moments that meant something to them. There's a delicate way of going about it. But it's what I've seen over the years.

And I'm pretty sure the first place I learned to take that approach was on here. Someone before me gave that advice, and damn if it didn't work.

 

[LongTimeListener]

Also this:

Lee Jenkins ‏ @SI_LeeJenkins
Seau is the eighth member of the Chargers '94 Super Bowl team to pass

https://twitter.com/#/SI_LeeJenkins/status/197751104572887040

This -- in addition to the many other deaths of "natural causes" (Reggie White et al.) or suicide/violence (Dave Duerson et al.) -- should have the NFL wringing its hands, and not just over how to protect its image against these sensational media outlets. Whether concussion-related or steroid-related or whatever, they have a major problem.

Before your hands start cramping up from all the wringing, read the list of how some of those guys on the '94 Chargers died.
One died in the 1996 ValuJet crash in Florida, during his playing career. Another guy was in a car wreck the year after the Super Bowl. A third was struck by lightning. The others were all heart-related.
It's an odd coincidence. Hard to connect the dots from those deaths to any of the larger player safety issues facing the NFL right now.

I would say four athletes dying of heart-related causes in their early 40s -- or younger? -- is anything but coincidental.

 

[Batman]

Also this:

Lee Jenkins ‏ @SI_LeeJenkins
Seau is the eighth member of the Chargers '94 Super Bowl team to pass

https://twitter.com/#/SI_LeeJenkins/status/197751104572887040

This -- in addition to the many other deaths of "natural causes" (Reggie White et al.) or suicide/violence (Dave Duerson et al.) -- should have the NFL wringing its hands, and not just over how to protect its image against these sensational media outlets. Whether concussion-related or steroid-related or whatever, they have a major problem.

Before your hands start cramping up from all the wringing, read the list of how some of those guys on the '94 Chargers died.
One died in the 1996 ValuJet crash in Florida, during his playing career. Another guy was in a car wreck the year after the Super Bowl. A third was struck by lightning. The others were all heart-related.
It's an odd coincidence. Hard to connect the dots from those deaths to any of the larger player safety issues facing the NFL right now.

I would say four athletes dying of heart-related causes in their early 40s -- or younger? -- is anything but coincidental.

And those three heart-related deaths (one other death was an overdose) could be related to steroids or some such. "Could be," being the key phrase. To my knowledge, the early 90s Chargers did not have that reputation. It could just as easily be three guys dying in freak accidents, one who had drug problems, three having heart attacks and one suicide involving a guy who had some personal problems.
It's odd, but oddities happen.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

This one has me sick to my stomach. Seau was an all-timer, both as a player and as a person.

RIP.

 

[Mark2010]

shocked. Never know what the next day will bring.

 

[Evil Bastard (aka Chris_L)]

Dr. Sanjay Gupta ‏ @sanjayguptaCNN
so sad. he was a likely hall of famer, junior seau. he shot himself in the chest, like dave duerson last year. could CTE be to blame? @ac360

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I don't know if it's concussion or depression related, I just know that it's just ****ing awful, as it always is when someone feels that life isn't worth living anymore.

 

[JR]

Chris Jones in Esquire:

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/jr-seau-dead-8546574?src=soc_fcbk

Because Seau apparently shot himself in the chest, his death will be inevitably compared to Dave Duerson's, the former Chicago Bear who also shot himself in the chest last year, better to preserve his brain for science and lawsuits. There is no doubt that over his twenty brutal seasons in the NFL, Seau suffered his share of brain damage. There will be dark shadows found inside of him. And everyone will talk about how something has to change and how terrible this all is and, gee, is it really worth all this for a game? And then everyone will buy their tickets and popcorn and get ready for some subtly altered version of football.

One of my favourite players. RIP

 

[Mizzougrad96]

It was strange to watch the coverage of this on SportsCenter on the same day the bounty suspensions came down.

 

[Dick Whitman]

I'd like to know who was the ****ing idiot who put Seau's mother in front of cameras at a time like that. The world did not need to see that kind of grief and heartbreak so soon after this happened. And whoever was the guy patting her on the back while she was sobbing to God "take me" instead of her son ... dude needs to get a grip, and get that poor lady the hell out of there instead of patting her on the back.

Rant over.

I once talked with a woman reporter who was a person a paper would send out regularly to talk to relatives in this situation.

One thing she told me was that she always bought something over to the family, usually something like Entermann's cake. She told me that a lot of times people really wanted to talk to someone. She said she always asked for a picture first.

It is horrible enough for a parent to have to bury their child - I'm sad thinking about it as I wait for my daughter's to come home right now. I can understand why somebody might want to talk to a member of the media - I think I would want people to know what somebody's likes and dislikes were, how they always smiled, how they had a brave battle against a lingering disease or illness.

It's macabre to think about, but being in this business, I can't help it. I've already made a conscious decision that if, God forbid, something ever should happen to a relative, friend, or co-worker, and a composed spokesperson is needed, I'm going to step up. Not sure that I'd feel the same if I hadn't spent so many years on this side of it, but I think it's a benefit to both parties to have someone willing to take that on. I'm sure the majority of people here - again, God forbid - would do the same. I think that's the character of this place. This profession.

 

[albert77]

I'd like to know who was the ****ing idiot who put Seau's mother in front of cameras at a time like that. The world did not need to see that kind of grief and heartbreak so soon after this happened. And whoever was the guy patting her on the back while she was sobbing to God "take me" instead of her son ... dude needs to get a grip, and get that poor lady the hell out of there instead of patting her on the back.

Rant over.

I once talked with a woman reporter who was a person a paper would send out regularly to talk to relatives in this situation.

One thing she told me was that she always bought something over to the family, usually something like Entermann's cake. She told me that a lot of times people really wanted to talk to someone. She said she always asked for a picture first.

It is horrible enough for a parent to have to bury their child - I'm sad thinking about it as I wait for my daughter's to come home right now. I can understand why somebody might want to talk to a member of the media - I think I would want people to know what somebody's likes and dislikes were, how they always smiled, how they had a brave battle against a lingering disease or illness.

It's macabre to think about, but being in this business, I can't help it. I've already made a conscious decision that if, God forbid, something ever should happen to a relative, friend, or co-worker, and a composed spokesperson is needed, I'm going to step up. Not sure that I'd feel the same if I hadn't spent so many years on this side of it, but I think it's a benefit to both parties to have someone willing to take that on. I'm sure the majority of people here - again, God forbid - would do the same. I think that's the character of this place. This profession.

I'm with you on this. My uncle passed away a few months ago, and my wife wrote a poem in his memory. I was asked to read it at his funeral, which I did, without losing it (although it was close at the end), and everyone in my family told me they couldn't have done it.

While we don't ever want to completely harden our hearts, I think our training as journalists gives us just enough of that hard outer shell to maintain our composure in times of crisis.

 

[HanSenSE]

Adam Schefter ‏ @AdamSchefter
It doesn't mean he didn't have any, but the late, great Junior Seau never was listed on an NFL Injury report as having a concussion

This. It's pure speculation on everyone's part that this is a Duerson copycat. There's been no note found, or any clues indicating why this happened. Just because we can make the Seau=football=brain damage=suicide connection, does it mean we should, at least for public consumption? I think it's a huge leap of into the unknown, but YMMV.

 

[Dick Whitman]

I'd like to know who was the ****ing idiot who put Seau's mother in front of cameras at a time like that. The world did not need to see that kind of grief and heartbreak so soon after this happened. And whoever was the guy patting her on the back while she was sobbing to God "take me" instead of her son ... dude needs to get a grip, and get that poor lady the hell out of there instead of patting her on the back.

Rant over.

I once talked with a woman reporter who was a person a paper would send out regularly to talk to relatives in this situation.

One thing she told me was that she always bought something over to the family, usually something like Entermann's cake. She told me that a lot of times people really wanted to talk to someone. She said she always asked for a picture first.

It is horrible enough for a parent to have to bury their child - I'm sad thinking about it as I wait for my daughter's to come home right now. I can understand why somebody might want to talk to a member of the media - I think I would want people to know what somebody's likes and dislikes were, how they always smiled, how they had a brave battle against a lingering disease or illness.

It's macabre to think about, but being in this business, I can't help it. I've already made a conscious decision that if, God forbid, something ever should happen to a relative, friend, or co-worker, and a composed spokesperson is needed, I'm going to step up. Not sure that I'd feel the same if I hadn't spent so many years on this side of it, but I think it's a benefit to both parties to have someone willing to take that on. I'm sure the majority of people here - again, God forbid - would do the same. I think that's the character of this place. This profession.

I'm with you on this. My uncle passed away a few months ago, and my wife wrote a poem in his memory. I was asked to read it at his funeral, which I did, without losing it (although it was close at the end), and everyone in my family told me they couldn't have done it.

While we don't ever want to completely harden our hearts, I think our training as journalists gives us just enough of that hard outer shell to maintain our composure in times of crisis.

BYH had a great post about this a few weeks ago re: his mom's funeral. A keeper post if there ever was one in these parts.

 

[YGBFKM]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

 

[Drip]

I think there is a perception that as a journalist, you instinctively know how to put words together that make sense at a time of crisis.

 

[LongTimeListener]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

Been there. And your ability to put words together is going to help you more than you could imagine. Anyone else is going to have to overcome the emotions AND write and say something that's going to be heard by so many people and live on forever. Public speaking is a horrifying fear for so, so many people, and you already know how to do it. Writing, also, is a fear -- putting yourself out there for something so emotional. And then there's the process itself; for someone who doesn't write regularly, even a 500-word essay can be a daunting task and they will stare at a blank page for an hour.

So, in short, you will knock it out of the park.

I hadn't thought in the what-if terms of being in the center of a family tragedy that demanded news coverage, but yeah, when it comes down to it, I'd be the only one I trusted to speak on my family's behalf.

 

[Flip Wilson]

Chris Jones in Esquire:

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/jr-seau-dead-8546574?src=soc_fcbk

Because Seau apparently shot himself in the chest, his death will be inevitably compared to Dave Duerson's, the former Chicago Bear who also shot himself in the chest last year, better to preserve his brain for science and lawsuits. There is no doubt that over his twenty brutal seasons in the NFL, Seau suffered his share of brain damage. There will be dark shadows found inside of him. And everyone will talk about how something has to change and how terrible this all is and, gee, is it really worth all this for a game? And then everyone will buy their tickets and popcorn and get ready for some subtly altered version of football.

One of my favourite players. RIP

I came here to post that Esquire link. Another great job by Jones. RIP Junior.

 

[WriteThinking]

I would like to have heard, or would like to learn, more about whatever police investigation work was done -- how it is known, seemingly for certain, that this was a suicide.

I'm guessing there must have been something in the texts to his family members that hinted at it.

Otherwise...could this possibly have been an accident? I guess it's a dumb question at this point, but people handling guns do accidentally kill themselves all the time. Especially given that there was no suicide note found, I'd like explanation of how it is known that this was a suicide. I'm sure there is one. I'd just like to know details of it.

Or, maybe I just can't believe it and am in denial about this...

 

[BYH]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably going to. On the list of occupations in which death is part and parcel, journalism is down quite a ways. But even if you accept the idea that occasionally dealing with death in a mostly indirect manner makes journalists somehow more equipped to "step up" and "be strong" in times of crisis, what the **** is the point of that anyway in regards to the direct emotional involvement of losing a loved one? My dad is dying. As the "eloquent" one in the family, I may be asked to be involved in whatever eulogizing takes place. If that is the case, it doesn't matter one bit what I do for a living. I will lose it at some point. There will be swearing; there will be crying. Not because I'm not strong, but because I'm more human than journalist. If I get the chance to speak in front of God, friends and family and I do it without getting emotional, I would hope my dad rises up and kicks my ass for being such a heartless ****.

Been there. And your ability to put words together is going to help you more than you could imagine. Anyone else is going to have to overcome the emotions AND write and say something that's going to be heard by so many people and live on forever. Public speaking is a horrifying fear for so, so many people, and you already know how to do it. Writing, also, is a fear -- putting yourself out there for something so emotional. And then there's the process itself; for someone who doesn't write regularly, even a 500-word essay can be a daunting task and they will stare at a blank page for an hour.

So, in short, you will knock it out of the park.

I hadn't thought in the what-if terms of being in the center of a family tragedy that demanded news coverage, but yeah, when it comes down to it, I'd be the only one I trusted to speak on my family's behalf.

This is the word-for-word truth. SOMETHING--and the two of you know more than anyone here I don't believe in a higher power--will guide you to write and deliver the eulogy that pays the proper tribute to your loved one. If you cry, that is OK. But don't be stunned if you find a soothing sense of calm come over you as you speak. I felt my Mom's presence as I was speaking.

 

[trifectarich]

Chris Jones in Esquire:

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/jr-seau-dead-8546574?src=soc_fcbk

And everyone will talk about how something has to change and how terrible this all is and, gee, is it really worth all this for a game? And then everyone will buy their tickets and popcorn and get ready for some subtly altered version of football.

I hope he's wrong, but he's probably right.