Praise Jeebus!

[Fenian_Bastard]

Pastor Ted gonna be gittin' him some strange now, baby.
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Haggard-Sex-Allegations.html?_r=3&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

These people have as much to do with Christianity as a hacksaw does.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Don't let the gay prostitute fool you. He's "completely heterosexual." He is, however, half Jewish.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Ragu --
It takes a real effort to read your wisdom if you're going to keep that guaranteed Coke-spewer of a pic up there, son.

 

[Ace]

What's the difference between "completely heterosexual" and "monogamously homosexual?"

 

[andyouare?]

What's the difference between "completely heterosexual" and "monogamously homosexual?"

I don't know, what is the difference between "completely heterosexual" and "monogamously homosexual? (waiting for punchline)

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Accesories?

 

[Mystery_Meat]

One's a sick duck, and I don't know how the rest of it goes, but your mother's a *****.

 

[writing irish]

Glad to see the right wing taking a stand for accountability, responsibility and good, old-fashioned family values.

Remember those old Reese's peanut butter cup ads?

Pastor Ted: Hey, Mike, you got your **** in my meth!
Prostitute: Well, Ted, your meth is on my ****!
(slurp)
Pastor Ted: Yum, meth...****...two great tastes that taste great together!
Prostitute: Amen to that.

 

[zeke12]

So there I was, balls deep in Ted Haggard's ass, when the pastor turns around and says, "Zeke, does this make me gay?"

"Ted, don't worry about it," I said.

To people convinced that evolution is a hoax, global warming a myth and that birth control is the same as an abortion, there is really no congnitive disconnect here.

 

[Killick]

Brokeback Pulpit?
This whole flaming episode is just laughable.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

I like how those good, forgiving "christians" all told him it was probably best for him to move out of town. The world is full of modern day pharisees.

 

[zeke12]

I like how those good, forgiving "christians" all told him it was probably best for him to move out of town. The world is full of modern day pharisees.

C'mon, F_H.

They offered to change his money at the temple for a very reasonable rate before he left

 

[The Big Ragu]

So there I was, balls deep in Ted Haggard's ass, when the pastor turns around and says, "Zeke, does this make me gay?"
explain the trends
"Ted, don't worry about it," I said.

To people convinced that evolution is a hoax, global warming a myth and that birth control is the same as an abortion, there is really no congnitive disconnect here.

You're lumping a lot of disparate things together there. I've never seen anyone make a convincing scientific argument for creationism, the way I have for evolution. So yeah, I'll laugh at a creationist out of hand.

I have, however, seen some fairly credible minds who don't think there is a global warming trend, based on trends and scientific evidence. It's certainly not cut and dried, the way you suggested by lumping it in with creationism.

Abortion, and whether birth control constitutes a form of abortion, isn't something you can prove or disprove scientifically. It's a moral question.

 

[Pastor]

These people are certainly Christians. There is no need for quotes or caveats. They may not be your brand, but they are certainly under the umbrella.

In the end, the whole situation is awful. I can only suspect that Haggard went through a Clockwork Orange type of program.

 

[JR]

Surely there must be an online quizz to find out if you're "completely heterosexual".

What if you're metrosexual? Does that disquality you?

"You're 98.5% heterosexual. We're taking away 1.5% for renting The English Patient"

 

[Ace]

So if the "he's not gay, it was only the one guy he had the affair with and he's cured now" defense works, think that will work for everday type adultery?

"Honey, I know I was sleeping with my secretary for a year, but it doesn't count. It was just her. The girls in accounting wouldn't touch me. And I'm over it. She is dating an astronaut now, anyway."

 

[zeke12]

So there I was, balls deep in Ted Haggard's ass, when the pastor turns around and says, "Zeke, does this make me gay?"
explain the trends
"Ted, don't worry about it," I said.

To people convinced that evolution is a hoax, global warming a myth and that birth control is the same as an abortion, there is really no congnitive disconnect here.

You're lumping a lot of disparate things together there. I've never seen anyone make a convincing scientific argument for creationism, the way I have for evolution. So yeah, I'll laugh at a creationist out of hand.

I have, however, seen some fairly credible minds who don't think there is a global warming trend, based on trends and scientific evidence. It's certainly not cut and dried, the way you suggested by lumping it in with creationism.

Abortion, and whether birth control constitutes a form of abortion, isn't something you can prove or disprove scientifically. It's a moral question.

Ragu, I'll spot you the global warming thing simply because I don't want to have the argument again.

But this:

Abortion, and whether birth control constitutes a form of abortion, isn't something you can prove or disprove scientifically. It's a moral question.

..is downright stupid.

Birth control -- in general - prevents ovulation, like the pill, or prevents fertilization, like a condom. In some very rare cases, some forms of birth control MAY -- and it has never been shown that this happens, only that the possibility cannot be ruled out, prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. Neither of these things cause an abortion -- the destruction of an implanted, fertilized fetus.

There is a distinct scientific difference, despite what the harpies would tell you.

Whether abortion is right or wrong is a moral question. Whether birth control is a form of abortion is not. It is a scientific question, and it has been asked and answered for years now.

 

[writing irish]

"O my brothers, it was just like one starry old geezer who nuzzled my Cadbury's factory. But I'm like a new veck now, and won't spelunk no more, so strike that from your gulliver's record."

[burgess]
That's what it's going to be then, brothers, as I come to the like end of this tale. You have been everywhere with your little droog Alex, suffering with him, and you have viddied some of the most grahzny bratchnies old Bog ever made, all on to your old droog Alex. And all it was was that I was young. But now as I end this story, brothers, I am not young, not no longer, oh no. Alex like groweth up, oh yes.

But where I itty now, O my brothers, is all on my oddy knocky, where you cannot go. Tomorrow is all like sweet flowers and the turning vonny earth and the stars and the old Luna up there and your old droog Alex all on his oddy knocky seeking like a mate. And all that cal. A terrible grahzny vonny world, really, O my brothers. And so farewell from your little droog. And to all others in this story profound shooms of lip-music brrrrr. And they can kiss my sharries. But you, O my brothers, remember sometimes thy little Alex that was. Amen. And all that cal.
[/burgess]

That's actually the last two paragraphs of the last chapter that was left out in U.S. editions of the book.

http://perso.orange.fr/chabrieres/texts/clockwork_orange.html

 

[andyouare?]

What's the difference between "completely heterosexual" and "monogamously homosexual?"

I don't know, what is the difference between "completely heterosexual" and "monogamously homosexual? (waiting for punchline)

One's a sick duck, and I don't know how the rest of it goes, but your mother's a *****.

I don't get it.

 

[Ace]

I wasn't trying to make a joke. The story seemed to be placing great import on the fact that the guy is not gay and the "fact" that he had only slept with the one guy (numerous times apparently) seemed to be important to them.

Did they ever consider that if you are the busy, closeted leader of a massive evangelical church in Denver, that it's hard to meet a nice guy?