LIVE from the DMV........Its Chef.

[Chef2]

So......I'm looking through my wallet the other day, and I just happen to glance at my drivers license.
Yep. Expired on my birthday November 16 this year.
So, I venture on down.
It's a cornucopia of odors when you walk in.
From the stench of cow **** on truckers boots that are here getting their cdls to the horrific garlic and whatever the hell 10 Somalian people eat to a couple different creatures in here that don't believe in bathing to the point that the only way to describe it is RIPE.
I go and pull my number from the way over tattooed gentlemen named Pepe.
And the fun begins.
2 people try cutting without getting a number, and then it becomes something out the Crossed Giblets Of Death with people fighting over the last drumstick.
I'm fairly certain some older something or other just **** their pants and a lady is either watching porn or is trying way too hard to look really interested at a video of Ron Turcotte riding Secretariat.
God help me.

 

[CD Boogie]

So......I'm looking through my wallet the other day, and I just happen to glance at my drivers license.
Yep. Expired on my birthday November 16 this year.
So, I venture on down.
It's a cornucopia of odors when you walk in.
From the stench of cow **** on truckers boots that are here getting their cdls to the horrific garlic and whatever the hell 10 Somalian people eat to a couple different creatures in here that don't believe in bathing to the point that the only way to describe it is RIPE.
I go and pull my number from the way over tattooed gentlemen named Pepe.
And the fun begins.
2 people try cutting without getting a number, and then it becomes something out the Crossed Giblets Of Death with people fighting over the last drumstick.
I'm fairly certain some older something or other just **** their pants and a lady is either watching open or is trying way top hard to look really interested at a video of Ron Turcotte riding Secretariat.
God help me.

They allow ya to renew license's at satellite offices there? I know in my state ya can, and it takes all of five minutes.

 

[Chef2]

They allow ya to renew license's at satellite offices there? I know in my state ya can, and it takes all of five minutes.

I'm sitting on 20 minutes in.
I had a better experience getting my vasectomy.

 

[Michael_ Gee]

They allow ya to renew license's at satellite offices there? I know in my state ya can, and it takes all of five minutes.

You can do it online in Mass., but they are also introducing the federally mandated extra security licenses you need if using for ID when flying, so I had to go to a branch office and take an eye test. Waited about 30 minutes, actual process took about three.

 

[Cosmo]

Yeah, got my Real ID earlier this year when my license was up for renewal. Kind of a pain in the ass with all of the paperwork you have to bring, but it's done.

 

[Chef2]

I have a sinking feeling that I don't have the necessary documents with me that I need......

 

[Cosmo]

I had to bring a paystub showing my SSN, a utility bill and something else ... definitely aborted after the first trip to gather all the ****.

 

[Michael_ Gee]

I had to bring a paystub showing my SSN, a utility bill and something else ... definitely aborted after the first trip to gather all the ****.

I brought my passport, which meant I only needed something with the SSI on it. If you have a passport, it really helps things along.

 

[Chef2]

This is worse than a ****ing check out at Walmart.
6 stations. 1 lady in the back doing everything.
I count 14 people frantically swiping through Facebook, reading a book, the porn lady, and there is either someone snoring directly behind me, or there is a pitbull looking at my neck as if I was a tbone steak. At this point, I'm rooting for the latter.

 

[Cosmo]

I brought my passport, which meant I only needed something with the SSI on it. If you have a passport, it really helps things along.

Unfortunately I was in the process of applying for my passport so I didn't have it yet. Of course I have it now ...

 

[Chef2]

Oh neat. Someone is playing Ave Maria on their phone.
I wish I was making any of this up.

 

[Michael_ Gee]

Oh neat. Someone is playing Ave Maria on their phone.
I wish I was making any of this up.

If it's an intro for a prolonged sacred Christmas medley, good luck!

 

[Chef2]

4 numbers away.
Guy just got his number called that appears to have fresh stitches.

 

[Chef2]

A early 30s guy just came in that has the Bam Bam Bigelow full head tattoo.
I'm going to try like mad to get a picture of this.

 

[Regan MacNeil]

"A Kansas man is in guarded condition after his attempt to photograph a patron at a local DMV resulted in what one witness called 'one of the worst beatings I've ever seen a man take.'"

 

[Chef2]

PICTURE TAKEN!!!!!

 

[Chef2]

3 of the hens up front are waiting on nobody and are talking about what happened on Days Of Our Lives.

 

[HanSenSE]

PICTURE TAKEN!!!!!

Uh ... pics or GTFO?

 

[Chef2]

Uh ... pics or GTFO?

Momentarily.

 

[BTExpress]

4 numbers away.
Guy just got his number called that appears to have fresh stitches.

At my DMV you have no idea how far away your number is.

They'll have the usual one worker, but the numbers given out are something out of a Bingo game.

A38
C269
B74

You could be 2nd in line or 52nd, and the number you hold will give you no clue.