Kids and Their Activities: Horror (and not quite) Stories

[User 11148]

The discussion re: the Buffoon in Chief's speech to the Boy Scouts veered toward kids' activities, so to continue with that meander outside of politics I thought I'd create this thread. What activities have your kids been involved that were especially awful?

I'd have to say that SonOfQuant's Tae Kwon Do was the worst (for MommaQuant and me). Twice-weekly practices, "graduations" every three or four months, then day-long tournaments that were Class A ass-whippings. Oh, and did I mention the couple of thousand smackeroos (maybe more) PLUS fees for pretty much everything? Graduations, for instance, cost $40 ... and there were at least eight of them.

Because Tae Kwn Do is an equal-opportunity racket ... err sport ... the push to include the whole family (!!!) was always on. The idea that a family with multiple children might not totally devote itself to Tae Kwon Do was almost beyond the pale to the con artists ... err teachers ... running the show.

SonOfQuant stuck with it and got his black belt ... and has thought about Tae Kwon Do about four milliseconds ever since.

 

[Big Circus]

My then-4-year-old son wanted to play football this summer, so we figured we'd go ahead and let him play flag. Then he wouldn't play unless I was on the field with him, so I became an assistant coach. Coaching 4- and 5-year-olds in football is exactly as awful as it sounds. "You go over there, and you throw it to him."

On the bright side, I can now add "championship football coach" to my resume.

(Edited because I don't know my seasons)

 

[YankeeFan]

The discussion re: the Buffoon in Chief's speech to the Boy Scouts veered toward kids' activities, so to continue with that meander outside of politics I thought I'd create this thread. What activities have your kids been involved that were especially awful?

I'd have to say that SonOfQuant's Tae Kwon Do was the worst (for MommaQuant and me). Twice-weekly practices, "graduations" every three or four months, then day-long tournaments that were Class A ass-whippings. Oh, and did I mention the couple of thousand smackeroos (maybe more) PLUS fees for pretty much everything? Graduations, for instance, cost $40 ... and there were at least eight of them.

Because Tae Kwn Do is an equal-opportunity racket ... err sport ... the push to include the whole family (!!!) was always on. The idea that a family with multiple children might not totally devote itself to Tae Kwon Do was almost beyond the pale to the con artists ... err teachers ... running the show.

SonOfQuant stuck with it and got his black belt ... and has thought about Tae Kwon Do about four milliseconds ever since.

Sounds like Crossfit for kids.

 

[Dyno]

My friend went all in on Tae Kwon Do when her son was doing it. She figured that if she was there waiting for him, she might as well do it, too. (Yes, like Kramer, she often took classes with kids.) Both she and her older son are black belts. I went to her black belt test and it was brutal. I had to leave because the second half of the test was pretty much watching her get the **** beat out of her by a guy she said was known around the school as a sadist. It's one thing to watch a boxer or an MMA fighter get beaten up, but watching your 50 year old mom friend...well, that was too much for me. She's now moved onto hopkido and that sounds even worse. She claims to love it and that it's changed her life, but it makes no sense to me. She's regularly injured, and always bruised and sore. And she gets to pay for it!

 

[MTM]

MTM Jr. was on the local swim team when he was 9 or 10. There were daily evening practices that started at the high school near our home but moved to a school across town.

Then there were the monthly weekend meets, which started quite early and were often an hour or more drive away.

I recall the first one. The boy was in say heats 3, 7 and 12. I said to my wife, who swam competitively when she was a kid, "That's not too bad, we should be out by noon." She looked at me and laughed. I didn't know that each heat had numerous levels by age and gender. So there was Heat 3A, 3B, 3C, etc.

We would spend 8 hours at the pool to see our son on the water for like 3 minutes.

On the plus side, we met some really cool people, some who are still friends today, a decade later.

 

[typefitter]

My youngest is currently playing rep soccer, which is great, except that his two coaches, both dads of kids on the team, hate each other's guts. Every practice and game turns into a test of wills between them. The kids seem oblivious, but all the parents sit there uncomfortable as hell, watching these two dads stand next to each other on the sideline imagining the other's horrible death.

 

[Dyno]

My cousin's 10 year old daughter is on a summer swim team. She has twice daily practice and meets on Saturday AND Sunday from mid-June through mid-August that last, as MTM notes, hours and hours, for a few minutes in the pool. This isn't some super top-flight swim team. It's a crappy swim team at their local pool. My cousin's husband insists she can't miss any meets so their whole summer is taken up by the team.

 

[Huggy]

My youngest is currently playing rep soccer, which is great, except that his two coaches, both dads of kids on the team, hate each other's guts. Every practice and game turns into a test of wills between them. The kids seem oblivious, but all the parents sit there uncomfortable as hell, watching these two dads stand next to each other on the sideline imagining the other's horrible death.

I had one dad, who had kids play high-level rep in hockey and soccer in the Toronto area, tell me that the soccer coaches were by far the worst

 

[QYFW]

Organized activities are not on the horizon, but I spent some time this morning teaching my son to pedal his big wheel. Really seems to be picking it up. His previous aversion to pedaling is weird given that his gross motor skills are perfectly normal.

 

[Buck]

Our kids are still a few to several years from this.
It is one of those things to which I look forward yet dread.

I've got one hard line that I have thought about for the past three years: I'm insisting that all three take piano lessons.
Maybe my stance will change as they get older and closer to the appropriate age, or maybe I'll relent if one or all really hate it.
But at the very least, I'm going to make a run at it.
If they all hate and stop, I'll still play the piano, so no loss on the cost of piano purchase.

My wife says she wants all of them to play the same sports. I can see that in the earliest years, but I'm not sure I'd support that hard line as the get older and develop more individual preferences.
Again, though, my stance could change on this and all parenting decisions.

 

[typefitter]

Our kids are still a few to several years from this.
It is one of those things to which I look forward yet dread.

I've got one hard line that I have thought about for the past three years: I'm insisting that all three take piano lessons.
Maybe my stance will change as they get older and closer to the appropriate age, or maybe I'll relent if one or all really hate it.
But at the very least, I'm going to make a run at it.
If they all hate and stop, I'll still play the piano, so no loss on the cost of piano purchase.

My wife says she wants all of them to play the same sports. I can see that in the earliest years, but I'm not sure I'd support that hard line as the get older and develop more individual preferences.
Again, though, my stance could change on this and all parenting decisions.

One of the interesting things about being a parent is watching your kids become their own people. It starts remarkably early, or at least it did with mine—they start expressing preferences and exhibiting talents and curses at a pretty young age, and those things seem only to cement as they grow older. But you'll know pretty quickly where their talents and hearts lie.

 

[Iron_chet]

We are busy with my 9 year old daughter's soccer. 1 academy, 1 practice, 1 game a week (second academy if she makes the "A" team). She wants to play basketball so now we have to fit that in as well.

My 5 year old son has played soccer but now moves to a more competitive route, looking like 3 times a week. He also wants to play hockey. Normally kids that age play Timbits (sponsored by Tim Hortons donuts) which is coached by volunteer parents. Usually some sort of cash call and you are expected to volunteer in some capacity.

There is a new program for hockey started by some ex-NHL guys that promise a set schedule, no volunteer commitment and paid coaches. Philosophy is also to play 3v3 to develop better skills and skating. It is also a 2 minute drive from my house. Problem is that it is 3K for the year vs about 1K for Timbits. Given how busy we are going to be I think I will fork out the 3K just to have some schedule certainty.

 

[User 11148]

I've got one hard line that I have thought about for the past three years: I'm insisting that all three take piano lessons.
Maybe my stance will change as they get older and closer to the appropriate age, or maybe I'll relent if one or all really hate it.

As much as I've enjoyed DaughterQuant's volleyball exploits, watching/listening to her (and her elder siblings) actually play some real music has been one of the most gratifying experiences I've had as a parent.

 

[Buck]

One of the interesting things about being a parent is watching your kids become their own people. It starts remarkably early, or at least it did with mine—they start expressing preferences and exhibiting talents and curses at a pretty young age, and those things seem only to cement as they grow older. But you'll know pretty quickly where their talents and hearts lie.

The twins are about to be 21 months, and there is already a lot of differences.
They are not identical, so they look different and are different in size.
But they act and react differently, too.

Even the newborn at four months seems so different than they were.

But I don't care about talent or preference, everyone is taking piano lessons!

 

[Buck]

As much as I've enjoyed DaughterQuant's volleyball exploits, watching/listening to her (and her elder siblings) actually play some real music has been one of the most gratifying experiences I've had as a parent.

I dig that very much.

 

[QYFW]

One of the interesting things about being a parent is watching your kids become their own people. It starts remarkably early, or at least it did with mine—they start expressing preferences and exhibiting talents and curses at a pretty young age, and those things seem only to cement as they grow older. But you'll know pretty quickly where their talents and hearts lie.

Not quite that simple when developmental delays are involved.

 

[User 11148]

I dig that very much.

Will never forget that night, walking down the hallway past SonOfQuant's bedroom, when I heard him playing the gigue from Bach's first cello suite. Holy **** what a moment.

 

[playthrough]

Just finished my 11-year-old daughter's last club soccer season. Wasn't bad travel-wise, we drove for an hour at the most to road games, but between two nights of practice and Sat/Sun games, it ate the calendar. She told us that she didn't want to do it anymore, and we sure as heck weren't going to put up a fight. She said she wants to try out for the middle school team, and that's great. I'd be delighted to just have a kid who plays at school and isn't on all these overcooked "travel" teams.

 

[Webster]

For us, it's not any one activity, it's just that every weekend day tends to have at least 2 activities to plot out. For example, my 9 year old has a big personality and has been taking acting lessons for the past 2 years. It's great for him and he really enjoys it, but it's a 50 minute round trip drive every Saturday for a 75 minute class. So that's 2 hours for one of us 7 months of the year.

My 12 year old takes enrichment classes at a college 35 minutes away Saturday mornings for 6 months of the year. It's great for her and she's learning lots of cool things, but there isn't really time for me to go home so I'm stuck there for 2 hours and there is only so many times I can go to the Yogi Berra Museum.

Add in-town hoops and soccer for both, baseball for him and its just takes up a huge amount of the weekends.

 

[HC]

But I don't care about talent or preference, everyone is taking piano lessons!

I approve this message.

And seriously I have met many adults who regret not continuing with piano/guitar/flute, etc. but have yet to meet one that regretted the lessons.