Is this lead misleading?

[slappy4428]

Saw this over the weekend as a follow -up story....

"John James wanted to kick back, relax and stick a fork into a home cooked meal Saturday night while his Podunk U players rested.

"The first-year coach might have scrambled for the Pepto Bismol after he watched Big College U dismantle Next State U with a XX-YY whipping."

However nowhere in the story does it have verification from James that was what he did. I realize there's a certain bit of license here, but am I the only one who finds that misleading when the writer paints a picture that was indeed what the coach did without anything to back it up? John James could have gone to a titty-bar for all the writer knew...

 

[lone star scribe]

The only part the writer claims Coach James actually did was watch the game. Doesn't say he watched the whole thing, even. The first graf, what he wanted to do, doesn't say he did that. Says he wanted to. So I guess it doesn't bother me much.

 

[Ace]

I don't like it.

On the first part, unless the coach told you that, why make up what he wanted to do. Also "stick a fork into" has a whole other connotation, so unless you are trying to evoke that, you should avoid it.

On the second, I might have said the video should come with a side order of Pepto Bismol, to get that upset stomach thing in there without guessing what the coach might have done.

Also, don't like the word "scrambling" unless it was intentional because the quarterback was running for his life. In that case, I would have said he likely was scrambling for the Pepto watching NEXT STATE U's QB get sacked seven times.

 

[JimmyHoward33]

Without seeing the rest of the story, I'm assuming John James' team is playing Big College U this week and this is a preview type thing?

So the writer probably goes on to quote John James about Big College U. So who's to say that some kind of off color not exactly quotable "I was sick watching that Sat night thinking how're we gonna deal with that" wasn't talked about in the course of that interview? If the writer spoke to Jones, there's not much basis for the assumption that he ran with this picture with nothing to back it up.

 

[slappy4428]

The only part the writer claims Coach James actually did was watch the game. Doesn't say he watched the whole thing, even. The first graf, what he wanted to do, doesn't say he did that. Says he wanted to. So I guess it doesn't bother me much.

How did he know he wanted to? He might have wanted to take his wife to the movies, but without later verification we'll never know.

 

[imjustagirl]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

 

[Ace]

The only part the writer claims Coach James actually did was watch the game. Doesn't say he watched the whole thing, even. The first graf, what he wanted to do, doesn't say he did that. Says he wanted to. So I guess it doesn't bother me much.

How did he know he wanted to? He might have wanted to take his wife to the movies, but without later verification we'll never know.

You ever try to agree on a movie to see with your wife? Doubtful.

 

[Matt Stephens]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

I'm with IJAG here. Based off the lead, I'd have to assume the writer asked the coach and that was his answer

 

[slappy4428]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

The coach is coach of a team 200 miles away. And if he asked him, why wouldn't he use a quote to describe what he saw in Big College U's defense.

 

[Ace]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

I'm with IJAG here. Based off the lead, I'd have to assume the writer asked the coach and that was his answer

Well, the easy way to indicate that is to say, "Coach so-and-so said he wanted to kick back ....."

 

[imjustagirl]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

The coach is coach of a team 200 miles away. And if he asked him, why wouldn't he use a quote to describe what he saw in Big College U's defense.

Well how in the **** am I supposed to know it's 200 miles away?

And "Coach so and so said" as a lead-in to a paraphrasing is almost always unnecessary and clunky.

 

[Ace]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

The coach is coach of a team 200 miles away. And if he asked him, why wouldn't he use a quote to describe what he saw in Big College U's defense.

Well how in the **** am I supposed to know it's 200 miles away?

And "Coach so and so said" as a lead-in to a paraphrasing is almost always unnecessary and clunky.

Yeah, except the question here is whether he was indeed paraphrasing, imagining or just hungry.

 

[imjustagirl]

Right, but all we had was the first two sentences. Slappy's bringing in **** from the rest of the story, without a link, so there's no way for me to know where the school was or who was interviewed or wasn't. He asked if the lede was misleading without telling us the rest of the story.

 

[Ace]

Right, but all we had was the first two sentences. Slappy's bringing in **** from the rest of the story, without a link, so there's no way for me to know where the school was or who was interviewed or wasn't. He asked if the lede was misleading without telling us the rest of the story.

True. Slappy's being stingy with the links.

 

[imjustagirl]

I mean, I get it. You don't want to out the writer, assuming it's a no-name guy. We kind of have that rule. But some more details as to the content of the story would have helped make the call easier.

 

[Ace]

I mean, I get it. You don't want to out the writer, assuming it's a no-name guy. We kind of have that rule. But some more details as to the content of the story would have helped make the call easier.

We can agree that Slappy spelled "lead" wrong though.

 

[slappy4428]

Rest of the story mentions nothing about the coach. Nada. The reference in the first two paragraphs is never heard from again, then continues to cumguzzle the Big College defense for the next 600 words

 

[Ace]

Rest of the story mentions nothing about the coach. Nada. The reference in the first two paragraphs is never heard from again, then continues to cumguzzle the Big College defense for the next 600 words

I don't like that. Don't tease me with a damn home-cooked meal. Bring the mashed potatoes.

 

[noahl]

it sucks. it's badly worded and leaves it unclear whether the coach actually did anything attributed to him, or whether we should understand that this is a theoretical situation, which the writer could have remedied with a "probably" and "would." but the lede still would have stunk because it's so slow in developing. And did it really stretch over two short grafs, or is that your rendering of it? no matter, the concept was cool -- placing us in the family room of a coach who'd earned a quiet reward -- but the execution was horrible.

 

[93Devil]

But how do you know he didn't ask the coach "What are you doing for the game?" And he said "I'm going to sit down, relax, and eat a huge meal."

And then have a snack!