Insert amputee joke here........

[Chef]

First of all, screw the toe.

About one hour ago, a (roughly) 400 pound electric motor got placed on the fingernail of my middle finger on my right hand.

Blood everywhere.

I have it tightly wrapped in two bandaids right now.

Do I leave it alone, and let the fingernail fall off.........remove the fingernail.....go to a doctor (shut up)

The nail didn't break or crack, and there is no pressure underneath, but somamabitch, does it hurt.

Took 1500 mg of Bayer......

Help a chef out here, por favor.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

That nail will fall off eventually. Might not hurt to get some x-rays or something. I've lost both nails on my middle finger in the past, and they come back feeling slightly differently than the rest for some reason. At least if you bite your nails like I do.

 

[Freelance Hack]

Dude, I hope your typing with one hand.

Go to the ER. Better to be safe than sorry.

 

[kingcreole]

Chef, you're my boy and all, but I have to ask you a question:

What the hell is your problem?

 

[Chef]

Chef, you're my boy and all, but I have to ask you a question:

What the hell is your problem?

lol.

As long as you've known me, you know that I've never been the most graceful of cats.

But, I assure you, I was not trying to drop a ****ing motor on my finger.

Dude, I hope your typing with one hand.

Go to the ER. Better to be safe than sorry.

It took one punch of the k key to realize that this finger is NSFT right now. (Not safe for typing)

 

[mustangj17]

Chef,

This would only happen to you. It's the holidays. Crack open a beer, and prepare for the Motor City Bowl.

 

[slappy4428]

This is like reading Boots... different problems, but in the end someone gets screwed

 

[Dickens Cider]

At this rate, Chef has a bright future as the next drummer for Def Leppard.

 

[Freelance Hack]

At this rate, Chef has a bright future as the next drummer for Def Leppard.

Or he could be the Ronnie Lott of sportswriters.

 

[Chef]

update: finger is throbbing like a wedding night ****.

off to buy lots of beer.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

Good Lord, man.

Quit drinking while you still have most of your digits.

 

[EStreetJoe]

Some advice -- let the injured finger be the only one sticking up when you show your boss the injury

 

[Football_Bat]

Chef's not sick, but he's not well.

 

[KG]

Chef, I almost joined you in a near-amputee incident. I had taken a nap and woke up with a strong desire for a Fresca (should have been my first warning). I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and KABLAM! I'm not even really sure what happened. The only thing I know is I looked down to the floor and there was a pie upside down, a diet pepsi and a broken butter dish. I was just thinking of the mess I had to clean up, nothing else. Then I saw blood on the floor. I was thinking, WTF? Then I looked down and realized it was coming from me. Apparently, part of the butter dish had managed to stab me in the foot. I knew something had hit my foot when it all fell out, but I didn't think it was bad enough for me to be a part of the damage report. It took forever to get it to stop bleeding. All this and I didn't have a 12-pack of anything, unless you want to count the Fresca.

 

[dooley_womack1]

I blame soccer.

 

[HandsomeHarley]

I've probably lost every nail on both hands except maybe one.

They turn black, fall off and a new one grows. The new ones are a little more rounded than the originals, which is how I can tell how many times I've lost each one.

Trying to lift large rocks, jammed in car doors, etc. You name it and I've done it -- all before age 10.

 

[mike311gd]

Chef's not sick, but he's not well.

Chef is Harvey Danger?

 

[spaceman]

do you have range of motion in your finger?

 

[Football_Bat]

Wanna blow Chef's mind? Ask him to count to nineteen.

 

[Chef]

do you have range of motion in your finger?

yes