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SockPuppet

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As a sidebar to the "More Corporate hossheet" thread, here's a memo to the staff from DMN boss Jim Moroney:

At the employee meeting I announced that we would be putting more emphasis on Innovation. I told you that Laura Gordon will take on a new role as Chief Innovation Officer, in addition to her role as Sr. Vice President of Marketing, to lead this effort for the organization. Given the time limitations of the meeting (or maybe just the length of my speech), what I did not have time to tell you was what I have asked Laura to accomplish and how you can help.

First, I have asked her to develop a process for evaluating and prioritizing opportunities. We simply cannot try to do everything and expect to do it all well. We will put our effort into those projects that will help us deliver our local strategy and create a sustainable advantage. In order to accomplish this, we will form a cross functional Innovation Council so that the decision to move a project forward for approval will have been reviewed cross functionally for feasibility and financial potential. Membership on the Innovation Council will change every 12 to 18 months.

The innovation team will also work with Providence and Riverside to facilitate their innovation efforts. This is an important step as we begin to develop our new A.H. Belo organization. The innovation group should be a resource for internal teams who have ideas that need to be more fleshed out or that need support for a business case. We need to get more products to market faster to build momentum.

We must bring the customer and the consumer into the process.

The innovation group should launch at least one new product idea at each property in 2008 and surface other ideas to put into 2009 planning. That means we have a lot to do in a short amount of time. This will require lots of help from throughout our organization.

There will be some staffed positions on the innovation team, but as mentioned above, there will also be some rotational positions in each department. If you are interested in participating in innovation, I would encourage you to discuss it with your manager.

I know many of you are saying, there is already so much to do, how are we going to do this in addition to what we are already doing? My answer: We really have no choice. Creating growth is essential for our future and we have a lot of skill, creativity and importantly our scale that can help us be successful. Now what we need is the focus to drive it. I am confident that with your help, Laura and her team can bring that focus. I am looking forward to our success in building an innovation practice in our company.

"We must bring the customer and the consumer into the process.''

How about treating 'em like READERS and not customers and consumers?
 
dixiehack said:
If you are interested in participating in innovation, I would encourage you to discuss it with your manager.

Greatest. Oxymoron. Ever.

I noticed that line too. So if you don't contact your manager, you're not interested in innovation?

Stupid corporate foolishness. Here's a hint suits. STOP CUTTING JOBS AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO MORE THINGS WITH YOUR PRODUCT!!!
 
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Holy cow... My face hurts reading that one and the one from Freedom in the same 24-hour span. All they needed was the words "interface" and "synergize" and it would have been straight out of an MBA textbook.

The suits sure did **** up what once was a noble calling, eh?
 
We will put our effort into those projects that will help us deliver our local strategy and create a sustainable advantage. In order to accomplish this, we will form a cross functional Innovation Council so that the decision to move a project forward for approval will have been reviewed cross functionally for feasibility and financial potential.

56 words, two sentences and no substance whatsoever. In fact, two of my brain cells just died in protest at having read that.
 
ServeItUp said:
Holy cow... My face hurts reading that one and the one from Freedom in the same 24-hour span. All they needed was the words "interface" and "synergize" and it would have been straight out of an MBA textbook.

The suits sure did **** up what once was a noble calling, eh?

business jargon bingo
 
ServeItUp said:
Holy cow... My face hurts reading that one and the one from Freedom in the same 24-hour span. All they needed was the words "interface" and "synergize" and it would have been straight out of an MBA textbook.

The suits sure did **** up what once was a noble calling, eh?

Don't forget proactive and paradigm.
 
"Innovation Council" is right up there with "Project Catalyst"

Is this what business/marketing folks do all day? Come up with pseudo-snappy names for ****ty ideas?
 
MartinEnigmatica said:
"Innovation Council" is right up there with "Project Catalyst"

Is this what business/marketing folks do all day? Come up with pseudo-snappy names for ****ty ideas?

It's kind of like looking for an interesting angle to a 30-point girls' basketball blowout so you can write about it without describing it as the turd it is.
 
Here's an innovation for you dickheads ... let's put out a better ****ing newspaper than we did yesterday. It's going to be hard, though, considering all the people you've "right-sized" recently.

I'm thankful this bull**** isn't happening (at least to this degree) at my shop ... yet.
 
20_innoventions.jpg
 
I like you ingrates and slackers despite your antiinnovate ways and disinclination toward corporate suck up speak.

So here's the innovation you take to your bosses.

You know those risque photos of cheerleaders that seedy looking photographer always passes around the sports department after shooting a high school game?

Put the photos on the web, dammit.
 
What about all the pissing and moaning I read on this board about "the suits" not listening to your great ideas.

So some "suit" creates a forum for those "great ideas" to be heard, analysed and implemented, and everyone ****s all over that too.

Considering the stats on the age, wage and experience of the majority of posters on the board, I'm unclear as to what qualifies any of you to think you have all the answers.
 
EE94 said:
What about all the pissing and moaning I read on this board about "the suits" not listening to your great ideas.

So some "suit" creates a forum for those "great ideas" to be heard, analysed and implemented, and everyone ****s all over that too.

Considering the stats on the age, wage and experience of the majority of posters on the board, I'm unclear as to what qualifies any of you to think you have all the answers.

To be fair, if the "suits" had written a memo saying that we need new ideas to attract and keep readers so be thinking of them and tell your boss if you have any interest in being on the innovations team" -- you know, if it had been written in English -- it probably would have gone over just fine.
 
Ace said:
EE94 said:
What about all the pissing and moaning I read on this board about "the suits" not listening to your great ideas.

So some "suit" creates a forum for those "great ideas" to be heard, analysed and implemented, and everyone ****s all over that too.

Considering the stats on the age, wage and experience of the majority of posters on the board, I'm unclear as to what qualifies any of you to think you have all the answers.

To be fair, if the "suits" had written a memo saying that we need new ideas to attract and keep readers so be thinking of them and tell your boss if you have any interest in being on the innovations team" -- you know, if it had been written in English -- it probably would have gone over just fine.

I guess that was part of my point.

Quit looking for the thing to **** on - the obviousness of the language and the "suit" from which it came - and seek out the deeper meaning.

Newsrooms - and maybe there's too many deskers on this board - are rife with pissers and moaners, so much so that management often turns a deaf ear.
Not sure I blame them.
 
EE94 said:
Ace said:
EE94 said:
What about all the pissing and moaning I read on this board about "the suits" not listening to your great ideas.

So some "suit" creates a forum for those "great ideas" to be heard, analysed and implemented, and everyone ****s all over that too.

Considering the stats on the age, wage and experience of the majority of posters on the board, I'm unclear as to what qualifies any of you to think you have all the answers.

To be fair, if the "suits" had written a memo saying that we need new ideas to attract and keep readers so be thinking of them and tell your boss if you have any interest in being on the innovations team" -- you know, if it had been written in English -- it probably would have gone over just fine.

I guess that was part of my point.

Quit looking for the thing to **** on - the obviousness of the language and the "suit" from which it came - and seek out the deeper meaning.

Newsrooms - and maybe there's too many deskers on this board - are rife with pissers and moaners, so much so that management often turns a deaf ear.
Not sure I blame them.

I understand that people in "business" communicate like this.

But when you are sending a memo to the newsroom, just make it in plain, freakin' English like you see in the newspaper everydamnday.
 

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