"I'm canceling my subscription ... "

[Gator]

If I had a nickel for every time somoene threatened to cancel their subscription over the dumbest of things, I'd be a rich person. I can only assume that everyone here, like myself, have had to deal with this kind of thing. I'd be interested in hearing just how dumb, though.

I'll start.

Guy calls today and claims that a picture of a woman wearing a dress, who has her legs closed, is showing off her private parts. Unless you were flat out looking hard at that region, there's no way you'd ever think of such a thing. This was a far, far cry from TMZ/Lindsay Lohan stuff. He said his son was looking at the paper noticed it. He called in a rage and said "rest assured he'll be canceling his subscription."

Another one bites the dust, I guess.

 

[CR19]

Just give the guy a couple of French insults next time he calls.

 

[apeman33]

We've gotten some of that. Because a majority of our readers are of the age where showing a little bit of calf is "nudity" and gossip from area "columnists" are among the most popular things we run.

 

[TheHacker]

Summer 1996, Virginia, in a town and at a paper that time forgot, phone rings in sports department:

Caller (in a slow, southern drawl): "I wanna cancel my subscription."

Me: Uh, well you'll need to call circulation and they're not here right now.

Caller: Nah, I'm callin' you because y'all show favortism toward certain NASCAR drivers. All y'all ever write about is Jeff Gordon. Y'all ain't never written nuthin' bout Earnhardt!"

Me: Uh, well all of our NASCAR coverage comes from the AP, so we're not writing it.

Caller: Well then y'all should tell your writer to talk to Earnhardt.

Me: Uh, well, it doesn't really work like that, but we'll be sure to run any Earnhardt stories they send our way. Thanks for calling.

Click!

 

[Dick Whitman]

Summer 1996, Virginia, in a town and at a paper that time forgot, phone rings in sports department:

Caller (in a slow, southern drawl): "I wanna cancel my subscription."

Me: Uh, well you'll need to call circulation and they're not here right now.

Caller: Nah, I'm callin' you because y'all show favortism toward certain NASCAR drivers. All y'all ever write about is Jeff Gordon. Y'all ain't never written nuthin' bout Earnhardt!"

Me: Uh, well all of our NASCAR coverage comes from the AP, so we're not writing it.

Caller: Well then y'all should tell your writer to talk to Earnhardt.

Me: Uh, well, it doesn't really work like that, but we'll be sure to run any Earnhardt stories they send our way. Thanks for calling.

Click!

Wow. Got nearly the exact same call in the late '90s. Earnhardt had taken someone out near the end of a race, I believe, and the AP writer noted as much. Guy called in a rage, cancelling his subscription because the story "blamed Dale." Was going on and on and on about how I needed to watch the race, and this was what really happened, and it's no surprise my Jeff Gordon-loving paper would write it that way, and on and on.

I kept trying to explain the concept of a wire service to him, but he wasn't having it.

 

[HejiraHenry]

We used to get little notes from circulation when people canceling their subs cited some problem w/sports.

I would always check back with circulation about 3 months later. Almost without fail, the subscription in question would have been renewed.

 

[TimmyP]

The closest I ever came to really losing it with a caller was along the "canceling my subscription" lines. It was a guy upset with a TV/Radio listing, and he went through it with a clerk before the call made its way to me. He kept ranting and raving about canceling his subscription, and wouldn't tell me why he was upset. After about the 8th time I asked him what the problem was and he answered by telling me he was going to cancel his subscription, I just said, "Well, I wish you would."

That kind of snapped him out of his funk and we had a conversation after that (which he was correct about). That was about 10 years ago, and I still regret how I handled it.

 

[reformedhack]

We used to have a caller who'd regularly dial a number in the sports department to "cancel my prescription."

 

[Ace]

I wonder what percentage of people who call and angrily threaten to cancel their subscription actually do it. I'd say less than 5 percent.

 

[Stitch]

We used to get little notes from circulation when people canceling their subs cited some problem w/sports.

I would always check back with circulation about 3 months later. Almost without fail, the subscription in question would have been renewed.

Maybe you should leave a note to circulation everytime someone complains to you about not getting their paper. Of course, when some papers rely on drivers who can't hold a real job, problems happen.

 

[Gator]

We used to get little notes from circulation when people canceling their subs cited some problem w/sports.

I would always check back with circulation about 3 months later. Almost without fail, the subscription in question would have been renewed.

Maybe you should leave a note to circulation everytime someone complains to you about not getting their paper. Of course, when some papers rely on drivers who can't hold a real job, problems happen.

At our shop, that happens 100 percent of the time. We're a PM paper, and by the time people get home to read it, everyone else in the building is gone but us. I loathe circulation.

 

[NoOneLikesUs]

If I had a nickel for every time somoene threatened to cancel their subscription over the dumbest of things, I'd be a rich person. I can only assume that everyone here, like myself, have had to deal with this kind of thing. I'd be interested in hearing just how dumb, though.

I'll start.

Guy calls today and claims that a picture of a woman wearing a dress, who has her legs closed, is showing off her private parts. Unless you were flat out looking hard at that region, there's no way you'd ever think of such a thing. This was a far, far cry from TMZ/Lindsay Lohan stuff. He said his son was looking at the paper noticed it. He called in a rage and said "rest assured he'll be canceling his subscription."

He canceled, but I wonder how many people not in the Taliban signed up after seeing that picture?

 

[Moderator1]

"I'm sorry you feel that way sir (or ma'am). I'll transfer you to circulation."

Then just do it. You have no time to deal with all that. Be polite and pass it on.

Most don't actually cancel.

Of course, at the rate circs are falling, SOMEONE is damn sure cancelling.

 

[Drip]

"I'm sorry you feel that way sir (or ma'am). I'll transfer you to circulation."

Then just do it. You have no time to deal with all that. Be polite and pass it on.

Most don't actually cancel.

Of course, at the rate circs are falling, SOMEONE is damn sure cancelling.

Best way to handle it is for you to pass it on. Really. Don't get involved in crap like that, especially if name-calling comes into play. Try to be professional and pass the call on or hang up.

 

[bigbadeagle]

Our calls about dropping the paper center around cost, i.e., they're cutting back and we're expendable. (It doesn't help that most of the content in our paper is available for free on the Web. I said most. I don't put all of it up there. We're not a pay for play site ... yet.)
Our office manager offers a discount, about 25 percent, off the normal subscription rate, and most of them take that.

 

[HanSenSE]

"I'm sorry you feel that way sir (or ma'am). I'll transfer you to circulation."

Then just do it. You have no time to deal with all that. Be polite and pass it on.

Most don't actually cancel.

Of course, at the rate circs are falling, SOMEONE is damn sure cancelling.

Best way to handle it is for you to pass it on. Really. Don't get involved in crap like that, especially if name-calling comes into play. Try to be professional and pass the call on or hang up.

Agreed. These things are best left to trained professionals, no more than you'd send the circulation manager out to the Podunk Bowl on Friday night. It's like when someone calls saying "we'll give you money" to increase JV coverage, get a larger announcement for youth league signups, ect. ... they immediately get transferred to the ad manager. All of a sudden, what they get for free from me is a bargain!

 

[CYowSMR]

You guys don't know "I'm gonna cancel..." stories until you've worked in a call center for DirecTV!!!! :-D

 

[Stitch]

You guys don't know "I'm gonna cancel..." stories until you've worked in a call center for DirecTV!!!! :-D

They just do that so they can get a better rate. Those companies are starting to catch on and are saying "bye" in greater numbers.

 

[Shoeless Joe]

More than once I've said "Would you like me to transfer you to circulation?"
I generally listen, and if we've screwed something up, I'll try to fix it. But if it's a rant about some nonsense, I just cut them off.

We had a knucklehead call in back during the Masters ranting because we ran a story about Tiger's return to golf. "He's not a very good person, and you shouldn't be running stories on him." .... "Thanks for calling."

 

[SportsDude]

My favorite, my last town had a local message board, where some of the prominent citizens posted and bragged about never subscribing to the "local rag." I'd pop the browser there from time to time just to see what the local rabble-rousers were rousing about, usually it was complete slander. Then, inevitably, local paper-hater comes in the next week to renew his subscription. I give him credit for not posting anonymously.

This lasted until he said something rather libelous about the editor on the site, said again he didn't subscribe, then walked into the office the next week and threatened to cancel his subscription because we didn't run his daughter's 58th place finish in a cross country race.