Houston Chronicle "position-elimination program"

[FileNotFound]

Just saw this on Romenesko. Not that another layoff is news, but come on ... "position-elimination program?" Just once -- just ONCE -- I'd like to see a publisher type up a memo that gets a message across without the corporate bull****. Is that too much to ask?

 

[wickedwritah]

Would corporate let him pull that off?

No buyouts in this one, either ... only open-position whacking and layoffs.

 

[playthrough]

That's cute. Soon to be abbreviated to "pep" to further baffle employees into thinking it's a worthwhile thing. When your editor calls you into his office for a pep talk, you're done.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

Nice.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

 

[imjustagirl2]

That's cute. Soon to be abbreviated to "pep" to further baffle employees into thinking it's a worthwhile thing. When your editor calls you into his office for a pep talk, you're done.

Awesome.

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

Um, your ideas do not intrigue me and I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[steveu]

Soon "leave the gun, take the cannoli" might be uttered in many newsrooms.

 

[Cansportschick]

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

Fenian, that's too much information for me...

IJAG, I wonder what the subscription numbers are for Fenian's newsletter?

 

[imjustagirl2]

I wouldn't know. He lost me at "Testicle Relocation."

 

[Cansportschick]

I wouldn't know. He lost me at "Testicle Relocation."

Yeah, I got creeped out by that and he lost me there too...

I bet we aren't the only ones who got lost after "Testicle Relocation" ;D

 

[Pete Incaviglia]

That's cute. Soon to be abbreviated to "pep" to further baffle employees into thinking it's a worthwhile thing. When your editor calls you into his office for a pep talk, you're done.

Awesome.

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

Um, your ideas do not intrigue me and I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

IJAG, you have testicles? I'm so disappointed now.

 

[Editude]

Hearst is in a world of hurt. The company (which is private) thought it was insulated from the industry challenges because of monpolies in growing places like San Antonio and Houston, but with two layoffs this year in San Antonio, this process in Houston and the ongoing disaster in the Bay Area, Hearst is getting a bad taste of what everyone else is eating.

 

[SockPuppet]

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

Sorry, Fenian, but you can't take what they ain't got.

 

[imjustagirl2]

That's cute. Soon to be abbreviated to "pep" to further baffle employees into thinking it's a worthwhile thing. When your editor calls you into his office for a pep talk, you're done.

Awesome.

I think it's time to involve the publisher and the beancounters in my Testicle Relocation Program.

Um, your ideas do not intrigue me and I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

IJAG, you have testicles? I'm so disappointed now.

I've reread my post 18 times. I see no mention of MY testicles, since, you know, they don't exist.

 

[Read and weep]

"Dear Chronicle Employees:

In this complex and competitive information and media environment, with consumer choices multiplying daily, our new strategic plan calls for more resources to be dedicated to new technology and product development. We need to operate differently, and at less cost, as we continue to build our lineup of products to capture more audience and ad revenue market share."
Jack Sweeney

So.....Mr. Sweeney, presumably a smart man since has risen to such a prominent position, plans to throw MORE resources to new technology and product development. Sounds like a grand idea! Mr. Sweeney also wants to BUILD his lineup of products and capture MORE audience. Bravo, once again, Mr. Sweeney, a splendid plan! Genius-like, in fact.
And to accomplish this growth and to do more, our intrepid Mr. Sweeney has huddled with his management team and determined the best strategy is ... CUTTING THE ****ING STAFF.
How do these idiots face themselves in the mirror?
Scum and idiots. And they are ruining our industry.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Flash and IJAG --
What is it, national Be Too Literal Week?
Yeesh.

 

[SixToe]

And to accomplish this growth and to do more, our intrepid Mr. Sweeney has huddled with his management team and determined the best strategy is ... CUTTING THE ****ING STAFF.

Dear staff,

In light of the cutbacks please remember to work smarter, not ha ...

(gnashing of teeth, death, pillaging, explosions, wailing, glass breaking, anguish)

 

[imjustagirl2]

Flash and IJAG --
What is it, national Be Too Literal Week?
Yeesh.

Um, there's more than one "chick" in Canada, Fenian. Flash is not Cansportschick.

 

[SixToe]

"Llama fisting?"

Eeech.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Flash and IJAG --
What is it, national Be Too Literal Week?
Yeesh.

Apparently. it is.
Sorry, csc.

Um, there's more than one "chick" in Canada, Fenian. Flash is not Cansportschick.