Happy birthday, Chuck Norris!

[ServeItUp]

Chuck Norris is 69 years old. He'll celebrate by roundhouse kicking Father Time.

Chuck Norris doesn't blow out the candles on his cake. He wills them to stop burning.

His birthday cake is made of gravel, shards of glass and little rings of PVC pipe, topped with motor oil.

 

[playthrough]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he presses the Earth down.

 

[doubledown68]

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. He is not a man of few roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.

 

[Drip]

Met Chuck in Atlantic City before the Tyson-Spinks fight in 1988. Had a beauty on his arm that evening.
I remember being astounded that he was so short. Man time does fly.
Happy Birthday Chuck.

 

[ColbertNation]

Still one of my personal favorites:

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Chuck Norris directs all birthday wishes to Ryan Sonner.

 

[Ace]

Chuck Norris will hunt you down if you don't send a card.

 

[Claws for Concern]

You people have it all wrong. He's on his Total Gym right now.

 

[mustangj17]

Chuck Norris is 69 years old. He'll celebrate by roundhouse kicking Father Time.

Chuck Norris doesn't blow out the candles on his cake. He wills them to stop burning.

His birthday cake is made of gravel, shards of glass and little rings of PVC pipe, topped with motor oil.

By father time do you mean spnited?


Chuck Norris has more posts than BYH.

 

[JackReacher]

Chuck Norris directs all birthday wishes to Ryan Sonner.

As long as his card comes with cash and not a fist to the nads, I'm cool with that.

One of my personal favorites....Chuck Norris will choke you with a cordless phone.

 

[forever_town]

Before the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

[Drip]

Chuck Norris vs. Grim Reaper.
Reaper in 1.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

Chuck Norris put the lump in Ann Coulter's throat.

 

[OTD]

It's also my brother's birthday today. But my brother can't divide by zero.

 

[forever_town]

Chuck Norris put the lump in Ann Coulter's throat.

Lump? I thought it was an Adam's apple.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

Chuck Norris doesn't have birthdays. It's just another year Cole Hamels lets him live.

 

[mustangj17]

Chuck Norris knows how to save newspapers.

 

[Trey Beamon]

Chuck Norris doesn't blow out the candles on his cake. He wills them to stop burning.

Chuck Norris uses California redwoods as birthday candles.

Chuck Norris has killed many a man with a Best Buy gift card.

 

[micke77]

and I'd love to have Chuck Norris kick Madoff from here to Folsom Prison.
yea, just Chuck and Madoff in a room.
and for no more than five minutes cuz it wouldn't take long for Chuck to take care of that wuss.

 

[Double J]

It's also my brother's birthday today. But my brother can't divide by zero.

He can't count to infinity, either.

One of my faves - Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.