Greatest obit ever?

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Batman

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2006
Messages
39,125
When I die, I hope mine is this colorful. God bless paid obits, and the Georgia rednecks who write them.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/savannah/obituary.aspx?n=william-mccullough&pid=166950349&#fbLoggedOut

William Freddie McCullough - BLOOMINGDALE - The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013.

Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. He was a master craftsman who single -handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up. Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45. When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it.

Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%. Marshall Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright and Charlie Harper were his TV heroes. And he was the hero for his six children: Mark, Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley and Thomas.

Freddie adored the ladies. And they adored him. There isn't enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie's past. There isn't enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude). He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy's. He got married when he was 18, but it didn't last. Freddie was no quitter, however, so he gave it a shot two more times. It didn't work out with any of the wives, but he managed to stay friends with them and their parents.

In between his many adventures, Freddie appeared in several films including The Ordeal of Dr. Mudd, A Time for Miracles, The Conspirator, Double Wide Blues and Pretty Fishes. When Freddie took off for that pool party in the sky, he left behind his sons Mark McCullough, Shain McCullough and his wife Amy, Clint McCullough and his wife Desiree, and Thomas McCullough and his wife Candice; and his daughters Brandice Chambers and her husband Michael, Ashley Cooler and her husband Justin; his brothers Jimmie and Eddie McCullough; and his girlfriend Lisa Hopkins; and seven delightful grandkids. Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.
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RIP, DB

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/97454/
 
William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013.

Will this date forever be haunted by one tragedy after another?
 
Buck said:
William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013.

Will this date forever be haunted by one tragedy after another?

Geez. Did you drop acid today. How can you write something in jest
about 9/11. ;)
 
Boom_70 said:
Buck said:
William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013.

Will this date forever be haunted by one tragedy after another?

Geez. Did you drop acid today. How can you write something in jest
about 9/11.

I've been very clear:
Acid is most appropriate for kids, not adults.
 

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