Greatest lede ever

[TheSportsPredictor]

FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- A property manager in Fort Pierce, Fla., told police she found a large rubber ***** stuffed in her comments box last week, station WPBF of West Palm Beach reported.

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/17949713/detail.html

Whoever wrote this loved writing about a ***** placed in a woman's box so much that he (can't imagine it was a she) used a variation of the line twice more in a four-sentence article.

 

[slappy4428]

"... some kind of blackening agent..."?

 

[greenlantern]

Can't believe they got away with using the word *****. Seems like sex toy would have been usable. But not *****.

 

[GlenQuagmire]

FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- A property manager in Fort Pierce, Fla., told police she found a large rubber ***** stuffed in her comments box last week, station WPBF of West Palm Beach reported.

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/17949713/detail.html

Whoever wrote this loved writing about a ***** placed in a woman's box so much that he (can't imagine it was a she) used a variation of the line twice more in a four-sentence article.

What a ****.


Giggity!!!

 

[deadliner]

Wonder what the "c' word was? I'm guessing "cute."

 

[mustangj17]

Wonder what the "c' word was? I'm guessing "cute."

That was my first thought.

 

[BigSleeper]

Can't believe they got away with using the word *****. Seems like sex toy would have been usable. But not *****.

Don't hockey fans shower the ice with ****** regularly? IIRC, I've seen "*****" used in those wire stories. I don't think its as shocking anymore.

 

[Steak Snabler]

Can't believe they got away with using the word *****. Seems like sex toy would have been usable. But not *****.

They used sex toy in the headline, so I'm guessing you're right ...

 

[kingcreole]

Frank Drebin was charged with assault with a concrete *****.

 

[tapintoamerica]

Wonder what the "c' word was? I'm guessing "cute."

conservative

 

[mike311gd]

Maybe it was her last name.

 

[tapintoamerica]

I thought this thread was going to be about the classic golf line:
"Despite the abominable handling of the press luggage at the Zurich airport, the Swiss Open got off to a rather fine start Thursday."
Or something like that.

 

[Notepad]

It was a tale of two halves.

 

[old_tony]

Can't believe they got away with using the word *****. Seems like sex toy would have been usable. But not *****.

Yeah, "huge ****ing fake ****" would have been much better.

 

[Riptide]

Another fine lede. Not the greatest ever, but good enough to resurrect this thread ...

Gwyneth Paltrow’s plans to build a 14,000-square-foot mansion in Montecito, Calif., are even less popular than the jade vagina eggs she sells on Goop for $66.

http://pagesix.com/2017/07/02/gwyne...ebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow&sr_share=facebook

 

[Riptide]

And this, to catch everyone up on this story of vital interest ...

In two blogs posted on Goop, her wellness and lifestyle publication, blog and e-commerce site, Paltrow waxed lyrical about the rejuvenating benefits of mugroot-infused vaginal steam cleaning and then implored that women practice holding jade eggs in their cooches to strengthen their orgasms. The latter is a a technique borrowed from ancient Chinese concubines.

Gwyneth Paltrow Shuts Down Haters Who Say She Shouldn't Put Jade Eggs in Her Vagina

 

[Vombatus]

It's her vagina. She can do what she wants with it.

Well, unless she becomes a teacher.