Great pranks

[boots]

I know I've mentioned this before but here are my two greatest.
1, Sending my boss a box of **** for Christmas.
2, Wiping dog**** on the car handle of a miserable asshhole. I smeared it under the handle so they had to put their hand on it.

 

[slappy4428]

2, Wiping dog**** on the car handle of a miserable asshhole. I smeared it under the handle so they had to put their hand on it.

How long did it take you to get it off your handle?


[size=6pt]2-1 count here's the pitch... belt-high fastball.... it's deep... "

 

[boots]

2, Wiping dog**** on the car handle of a miserable asshhole. I smeared it under the handle so they had to put their hand on it.

How long did it take you to get it off your handle?


[size=6pt]2-1 count here's the pitch... belt-high fastball.... it's deep... "

I'm going to assume that you are trying to be a wiseass. Read the post. I said these were pranks that I did.

 

[slappy4428]

2, Wiping dog**** on the car handle of a miserable asshhole. I smeared it under the handle so they had to put their hand on it.

How long did it take you to get it off your handle?


[size=6pt]2-1 count here's the pitch... belt-high fastball.... it's deep... "

I'm going to assume that you are trying to be a wiseass. Read the post. I said these were pranks that I did.

I know.


[size=6pt]1-0 the score and the next batter steps into the box. first pitch... curveball stays up.... wow! Tomlinson needed a Visa to catch that one...

 

[zeke12]

slap a wiseass?

The hell you say.

 

[User 1019]

But the best prank I've ever heard was one in which I had NO part.

Rookie joins the MP unit. He's detailed one evening to sweep the building, take out the trash. You know, **** that privates do. In the old days, the K-9 officers used blank amunition to familiarize the dogs to gunshots.

So, the shift supervisor told the new kid to take off his gun belt, put it on the table and sweep the building. He did, and the shift sup, grabbed the kid's weapon and put blank rounds in it.

Of course, a call comes in about a "suspicious" person at the off-post park for which the unit is responsible for patrolling. When they arrive at the park, the supervisor begins to slowly approach the "suspicious person," who pulls a gun and "shoots" the supervisor. Of course, the kid draws his weapon and begins to fire blanks at the "suspicous person," who keeps coming and keeps "firing."

The kid was so shaken that he had to be taken to the mental facility and was later discharged.

Innocent kid went nuts because of a firearm... yeah, good times!

I didn't say it was right .... just a good prank.

 

[Gold]

My father in New Jersey sends me an article about a group which wanted to put Reagan on Mount Rushmore along with some sarcastic comments. I'm in California.

I get a guy in my office to call him up and ask for a contribution, and my friend lays it on. My father hangs up the phone.

A minute later, I call him back and say why are you so cheap and unpatriotic. He laughed pretty hard and told everybody about it for a month.

Caller ID has made it so much harder to pull phone pranks.

 

[slappy4428]

OK, time for my best prank... sit down, grab a beer or Jack and rocks and have a seat...

In another lifetime, I drank at a bar every night. Yes, I know. You're surprised. Two brothers owned a bar and we used to sit around after close till wee hours of the morning solving the world problems.

One night, the younger brother told a story of his older, lazier brother. The telephone in the back office went out, the handset was shot. And instead of actually buying a new phone, lazy brother brought the phone handset to Meijer in the hopes of buying a new one. To his chagrin (and legitimate surprise) he found the store didn't sell handsets. Instead of buying a new phone for 15 bucks, lazy brother found a handset that looked similar to the old one and swapped it out, sticking the new one under the coat and leaving the old one.

He got back to the bar and found -- surprise -- it didn't fit and he had to go to another store and buy a new one anyway. While explaining the story at work that night, he was boasting how he got away with it. One of the bartenders asked "Did you forget bout the survellance cameras?" Lazy brother dropped a load and **** his pants. He called his dad in a panic, who also told his brother.

Of course, the bartender told the other brother, who tuned to me and said "Alright mother****er. If you ever want another free drink in here again, you'll get my fat ass brother to give it to you in a brown paper bag without him knowing."

Well, 3 a.m. became 4 a.m., which begat 5. I had a plan. So I called him at 10 a.m., spoke in a low, deep drawl (easy to do; after a night of hard drinking, my voice has the tonal qualities of Barry White) ad asked for the brother.

"May I speak to Lazy Brother, please? This is Detective Johnnie Walker of the Pittsfield Township Police Department."

"Yes sir, this is he."

"Hey, how are you? Aren't you Blue's son? (yes) I know your dad. How's he doing?

"The real reason I'm calling... and I'm sure it's nothing... is were you at the Meijer's store on Carpenter Road about 2 p.m. Yesterday? You were? Well sir, could you tell me the nature of the business."

"Well, I was there to buy a phone."

"And did you?"

"No sir, I didn't. I didn't see one I could use." (I can hear him sweat over the phone)

"Well sir, funny thing. The store called and had a videotape of someone taking a telephone yesterday. When I saw it, I thought it might be you. What do you think I should do about that?"

"I'm 43 years old and not about to start a life of crime" (And aside at this point. The day shift waitstaff notices him shaking and turning pale. And has no idea what's going on. Also, one of the night bartenders comes in for a cup of coffee, sits at tyhe end of the bar to read the paper and hears everything on the phone.)

"That's good. You're Blue's boy and all. I'll tell you what. You've still got lunch specials, right? (Yes sir, best around). How about I come in for lunch, you put the phone in a brown paper bag and I'll take it back to the store. Is that OK?"

"OH YES SIR, THAT WOULD BE GREAT." (OK< see you in a half hour.)

So lazy brother walks to the back, pulls out a bag and puts the phone in it. But he grabs a plastic bag, realizes it, stops and digs up a brown paper bag -- and it's all the night bartender can do not to burst out laughing. Lazy brother tries to act like nothing happens and can't function. Just shakes and sweats. So he goes in the back to call his dad, telling him "Dad, I stole a phone, but it's OK because the detective knows you and I'm going to get off"

At the same time, the day bartender looks her night counterpart in the eye and said "What the hell are you guys doing to him?" Day bartender explains. At the same time, lazy one gets off the phone; dad calls the other son and said "What the hell are you doing to him?"

Lazy brother goes back out front to work. Two minutes later a guy in a suit in his 50s walks in a looks around... slowly he meanders to the bar and says "I'm here for my to-go order." Lazy brother starts to pull the phone out from under the counter, pauses and askes what he ordered. When he answered a real food order and not the phone, he became a puddle of nervousness. He literally couldn't function.

Finally the day bartender told him, "Lazy, quit worrying. There is no Detective Johnnie Walker. It was Slappy and you have been HAD! 15 people in on the joke howled... two minutes later I walked through the door to hear "YOU MOTHER****ER! YOU WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER DRINK HERE EVER!"

My response, "Can I have my phone first?"

 

[boots]

Too long. A good prank is short sweet and simple and the reaction is spontaneous.

 

[slappy4428]

Too long. A good prank is short sweet and simple and the reaction is spontaneous.

Yes, you are right. It lacks the quick hit of putting **** in my own hand.

 

[zeke12]

If the ****'s just there on your ****, though, it does make the prank easier.

A guy like you, slap, you'd have to go looking for **** like a little momma's boy.

 

[slappy4428]

Depends on the momma

 

[zeke12]

I KNOW you ain't talking 'bout my momma.

 

[boots]

Too long. A good prank is short sweet and simple and the reaction is spontaneous.

Yes, you are right. It lacks the quick hit of putting **** in my own hand.

Get it right. It was smeared dog **** on someone elses hand.

 

[funky_mountain]

there's a large convent, the home base for this particular order of nuns, where i grew up. the property is huge and the nuns of this order live there when they retire. there's a guard on duty at night and in high school, we used to get the guard to chase us in his car (we were on foot running all over the property, through the woods, etc) because we were trespassing. it was harmless fun. we never caused any destruction. every now and then, the guard would call the cops and that upped the ante when the cops got in on the chase.

on the property is a retreat house and there's a half-mile road that leads from the big nun house to the retreat house. there's also a gate at both ends of this small road. we hatched a plan. we went to k-mart and bought some chains and locks. at one of the road, we shut the gate and locked it with our chains and lock. then we went and told the guard that some kids were making a bunch of noise halfway down the road, bothering our mom who wasn't trying to sleep. we had two guys stationed but hiding at the other gate. when the guard passed that gate in his car, the two guys ran out and locked that gate. the guard started to figure out what was happening, but it was too late.

he got out his car as we were running away, yelling "you sons-a-*******, i'm gonna get you someday."

our high school also had a tradition of solid, funny underground newspapers, and we started one when we sophomores called 'pravda' that caused an uproar among teachers/administrators for the next three years. we used to break into school a few nights before the release of an edition and put up signs in the hall that read "pravda coming thursday." i still have some of the issues and get a kick out of them. we were funny sometimes. sometimes we were mean. and sometimes we did a solid job of skewering the appropriate folks. it was sort of like 'the onion' of our high school in the mid-, late-80s.

 

[urgrad2004]

During my junior year of high school, a morning talk show had a guy who ran a website that collected old high school yearbooks of celebrities. The guy claimed he would pay top dollar for rare yearbooks he didn't already have. So knowing that perpetual whiner/asshole/angry old man Andy Rooney attended our school years earlier, my friends and I headed to the library and gained possession of the only yearbook left from his year. It netted us $300 and funded a huge blowout that weekend.

Three years later, I ran into Rooney at a restaurant and did my best to be genial and polite. I thought he might be warm and accepting to a fellow alumn who was breaking into the same field that has been his life's work for the last 60 years. I even thought it might be a good networking opportunity. Though everyone else at the table was extremely friendly, Rooney confirmed my earlier suspicions. I felt the urge to tell him about the yearbook but never did.

A better one came from a guy from my fraternity. When he was in high school, his friends left a box of Dunkin Donuts in the faculty lounge on the second to last day of school. It contained a note with something like "Dear Faculty, thank you for all the hard work and devotion you've brought to us over the past four years. We'll really miss you...the Seniors." The next day the faculty found a similar Dunkin Donuts box on the table in the lounge. But this time the box contained Polaroids with several giddy graduates wearing nothing but donuts.

 

[OTD]

This was two-part prank:

Sophomore year, my roommate comes back to the room drunk with some girl. I'm stuck outside waiting for them to "finish." When she finally leaves, and roomie is passed out drunk, we go to work. We get some condoms, women's underpants (from a cooperative female friend) and some creme rinse. We strategically place everything and I go to bed.

Next morning, roomie wakes me up and demands to know what happened. "Don't you remember," I said, "you screwed that cheerleader last night. You guys were going at it for a couple hours." He thought I was referring to the girl he did screw, so I said "No, AFTER her. This cheerleader came by. I just got to bed a couple hours ago."

So Roomie is pissed that he can't remember "the best sex I ever had." We had the previously mentioned female friend call him a couple days later, complaining that he hadn't called. He whined about not remembering it for days.

Eventually we fessed up on this. But this guy is VERY gullible, so we had another go. A couple weeks later, we had a girl call him and say she's the first girl that he'd banged that night, that she was pregnant and that he'd have to do the right thing. He panicked and had everything he owned packed into his car and was about to leave for Canada when we told him he'd been had again.

 

[bigpern23]

On April Fool's Day one year, my roommates blended up some mayo and tuna fish to make it look like toothpaste and then stuffed into my tube. It was close in color, but just off enough that I thought something was wrong with it and threw it out. So they didn't get me on that one, but I think it would work on someone not as observant. They also put some raw fish under the backseat of my car. Took a day or two, but the smell was eventually pretty horrible.

As retaliation, I emptied one guy's shampoo (which was some herbal **** his girlfriend liked that had "beads" of some kind it. Anyway, it was white with these little black spots in it) and replaced it with ranch dressing. He didn't notice until he put it on his head that it had a funny smell and then realized what was up.

The other guy, I waited five months to get back. After that incident, he always locked his bedroom door, so I couldn't mess with his room. Well, one weekend that summer, his girlfriend was coming up from school for the weekend. When he went to pick her up at the airport, I went upstairs to my friend Amber and asked her for a pair of her panties (got a strange look until I explained what was up). I then took said panties and put them on the end of a coat hanger and slid them under the door into his bedroom.

The "WHAT THE **** ARE THESE?!" I heard from the bedroom after my roommate and his girl got home was priceless. Took a lot of convincing that I was just playing a practical joke.

 

[Bob Slydell]

On April Fool's Day one year, my roommates blended up some mayo and tuna fish to make it look like toothpaste and then stuffed into my tube. It was close in color, but just off enough that I thought something was wrong with it and threw it out. So they didn't get me on that one, but I think it would work on someone not as observant. They also put some raw fish under the backseat of my car. Took a day or two, but the smell was eventually pretty horrible.

As retaliation, I emptied one guy's shampoo (which was some herbal **** his girlfriend liked that had "beads" of some kind it. Anyway, it was white with these little black spots in it) and replaced it with ranch dressing. He didn't notice until he put it on his head that it had a funny smell and then realized what was up.

The other guy, I waited five months to get back. After that incident, he always locked his bedroom door, so I couldn't mess with his room. Well, one weekend that summer, his girlfriend was coming up from school for the weekend. When he went to pick her up at the airport, I went upstairs to my friend Amber and asked her for a pair of her panties (got a strange look until I explained what was up). I then took said panties and put them on the end of a coat hanger and slid them under the door into his bedroom.

The "WHAT THE **** ARE THESE?!" I heard from the bedroom after my roommate and his girl got home was priceless. Took a lot of convincing that I was just playing a practical joke.

You should have just spooged in his shampoo. That would have shown him.

 

[GuessWho]

OK, once in high school a couple of buddies and I bought a bag of sweet potatoes.

Went to school, loitered outside a girls' bathroom until we were sure nobody was inside and nobody was around.

Snuck in, dumped (so to speak) some of the taters in each of the three toilets.

Kind of discreetly hung around outside until girls started going in and coming out (fairly quickly), and watched the merriment ensue.

(It was a youthful, innocent time)