Gone to enternity to be with his two best friends...

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

We had a priceless obit in this morning's paper.
"The departed is happy now that he will spend eternity with his two best friends, God and John Wayne."

Awesome.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Heaven needed a bad metaphor.

 

[Ace]

I regret to inform you, Recently Deceased, that John Wayne cannot come out and play right now. He is being bossed around and henpecked by Katherine Hepburn and Maureen O'Hara.

 

[DanOregon]

They're two different people?

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

John Wayne and God walk into a bar. The bartender only gives them one drink. Why? John Wayne is God.

 

[HejiraHenry]

Now I'll have to work on a list for my obit.

Sam Kinison is on it, for sure.

 

[hondo]

We had a priceless obit in this morning's paper.
"The departed is happy now that he will spend eternity with his two best friends, God and John Wayne."

Awesome.

I'm betting it was a paid obit, and the family can write almost anything in it.

 

[Michael_ Gee]

Hell, makes me want to read the rest of it. Isn't that what a lede's supposed to do?

 

[steveu]

Now I'll have to work on a list for my obit.

Sam Kinison is on it, for sure.

Rock against drugs... ah, priceless. Isn't that like Christians against Christ?

We could use a few Kinison words now and then.

 

[Birdscribe]

I regret to inform you, Recently Deceased, that John Wayne cannot come out and play right now. He is being bossed around and henpecked by Katherine Hepburn and Maureen O'Hara.

Very well played.

 

[SportsDude]

I now have a new ledge for my obit.

 

[Write-brained]

I can't wait to get to heaven to unite with my trophy wife, Marilyn Monroe ...

 

[HejiraHenry]

I can't wait to get to heaven to unite with my trophy wife, Marilyn Monroe ...

I'm pretty sure Hugh Hefner's gonna beat you to it.

 

[spikechiquet]

Our on-line editor came up with a good one once...how he wanted his obit to start:

"On-line Smith was dragged into the firey pits of hell, kicking and screaming as Lucifer's finest pulled him down, with a cigar on his lip and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his fist..."

Not every one assumes when they die they are going north. At least he was honest.