Gary Parrish feature

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Johnsonville,

I appreciate you posting this story, because A) I'm crying and it was a great read, and B) I think it might help my writing.
Too often I — and so many other writers my age — think we need to package all these great quotes in one hard-hitting sequence to really bowl the reader over.

I'm just now starting to learn about sequencing and pace and tempo, and this story showed me that it's possible to affect a reader without all those ploys that I sometime use.

Look at these two quotes, that, in one of my stories, would certainly be near the top, if not a lede, if not subheds...

"There he is in the car," Tim said as he pulled the picture up on his computer. "See how his lips look swollen? The police said that's from the carbon monoxide."

I mean, come on, how could this not be one of the top quotes?

AND

" It reads, in part: Don't ever try to convince yourself otherwise -- this event is absolutely, completely your fault. You created it. You could have prevented it. You encouraged it. You found our pain funny. ... If I have the opportunity to haunt you, I will. ... I pray you will see our faces in your mind's eye and wonder what Ryan could have been and what we could have had if you had only chosen love."

I would've given this prime freaking placement.

But Parrish weaves it in, tells the story, and I was hooked.

Thanks again,
JV
 
GBNF, you nailed it. His use of quotes was perfect. I wish that piece had my name on it. Great stuff.
 
Great subject and well told. It's a bit cliche to say, but Gary got out of the way and just told the story with no window dressing.

Speaking as someone married with a 2-year-old, that suicide note was one of the most crushing things I've ever read.
 
Gary's great. Helluva nice guy, too.

One thing that strikes me about this piece is, sometimes when we're interviewing someone who's been through traumatic experiences like this, there's a tendency to back off and not press them for the grisly details. But in a lot of cases, they WANT to talk about it, and almost need you to ask the not-so-comfortable questions. It certainly sounds like that's how the coach in this story felt, and Gary did a fantastic job of letting the coach tell it.
 
sat here in starbucks sobbing while i read that one

powerful stuff, handled beautifully

and very good technical points from GBNF & Dedo
 
This line completely jarred me: "To the side she wrote, "That's Ryan saying bye-bye, Dada."
 
There's been lots of good discussion about the story - and the craziness of the woman - here:

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/51495/
 
That was a great article, and there certainly is no happy ending:

The coach was fired for apparently having a relationship with a student. Who might not have been of the age of consent when the relationship started. Geez.

http://www.sportsline.com/collegebasketball/story/10585306
 
awriter said:
This line completely jarred me: "To the side she wrote, "That's Ryan saying bye-bye, Dada."
Click to expand...

That was the one that hit me hardest. Man.

What a powerful, well-written story. I'm not ashamed to say it made me cry, too. Thanks for linking this, I'd missed it somehow. Gary's a great guy and a great writer.
 
My goodness, what a story.
Well done, but I couldn't get through it.
Had to stop reading when it got to the part about Ryan saying bye-bye. I was literally getting nauseous and couldn't stop thinking about my 19-month-old daughter.

Got to get home now and stare into the crib for a while.
 
About the placement of the note from the wife: I think the easy thing is to get it up high in the story. Gary did much better to let the story develop, let you feel for this guy before you even know just how cruel his story is. It's like "you think you sympathize with him now?" ... very well done.
 
This is so bizarre. The timing of the relationship is so suspect, don't you think?

No knock on Gary, because we all can run into this at times, but there is always more to these stories than we care to get into. Good reporters have to dig around and get it all in there, as painful as it can be. If we don't, then we're doing the story a disservice. I have also fallen victim of this, too.

When I read the mainbar, it's clear there is a second side to the story. The wife is evil for what she did, and she's certainly not to be let off the hook for killing her son, but I felt like the story could have reported her side better. Why not interview her family? Did she have any legit beefs like domestic violence or was she mentally imbalanced? I think those ideas need to be looked at and answered for in a story like this. That woman was clearly having issues and perhaps this could have been avoided.

Her actions may also point to the development of the new relationship. It sure makes me wonder.

I guess we all can't sow a neat story sometimes that purely jerks tears. Sometimes there is dirt on the ones we wish could be clean.
 
awriter said:
This line completely jarred me: "To the side she wrote, "That's Ryan saying bye-bye, Dada."
Click to expand...

And that is so unbelieveably cruel I'm surprised the coach showed anyone. But it sure makes the point. He's a brave man.
 
This doesn't diminish from Gary's article, but as a follow up...

The coach has recently been fired and accused of having sex with a minor. Thought it was worth an update, so here's the link from a paper in that neck of the woods:

<a href="http://eacourier.com/articles/2008/01/23/local_news/doc479684034f946009730890.txt">Coach accused of sexual misconduct with minor</a>
 
tenacious_g said:
This doesn't diminish from Gary's article, but as a follow up...

The coach has recently been fired and accused of having sex with a minor. Thought it was worth an update, so here's the link from a paper in that neck of the woods:

<a href="http://eacourier.com/articles/2008/01/23/local_news/doc479684034f946009730890.txt">Coach accused of sexual misconduct with minor</a>
Click to expand...

A rare DB in the same post. ;) :)
 
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