keef spoon
Member
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2006
- Messages
- 69
Could this conversation have occurred between an official high up in ESPN management and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell?
ESPN guy: Hey Rog, umm, it seems a lot of your guys are getting arrested lately. Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, most of the Cincinnati Bengals. Look, we want to keep kissing your guys butts, just like Congress did in the '05 steroids hearings. We love your sport, the nation loves your sport, and we've got a keen interest in your success since we now run Monday Night Football. Heck, we lead SportsCenter with NFL news virtually every night, and NFL talk dominates shows like PTI and Around the Horn, even in March. So tell us, should we just sweep these stories under the rug and bury them? Totally your call.
Goodell: No, you know what, play 'em up. Not too big, but big enough. What we'll do is come down hard on a few guys, like Pacman, and then everybody will pat us on the back for being the only league that has the stones to discipline its players. Everyone will sing hosannahs to both the league and the union. Our secret is that, as Bill Belichick has shown over the last several years, about 95 percent of all players are expendable -- even All-Pro safeties like Pacman. So we set a few examples, these players get easily replaced, and we move on.
Just make sure you run a bunch of Pat Tillman stories to show America that NFL players are the only ones brave enough to fight for their country. Oh, and make sure you keep telling everybody that only baseball players use steroids and HGH. Got it?
ESPN guy: Will do.
ESPN guy: Hey Rog, umm, it seems a lot of your guys are getting arrested lately. Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, most of the Cincinnati Bengals. Look, we want to keep kissing your guys butts, just like Congress did in the '05 steroids hearings. We love your sport, the nation loves your sport, and we've got a keen interest in your success since we now run Monday Night Football. Heck, we lead SportsCenter with NFL news virtually every night, and NFL talk dominates shows like PTI and Around the Horn, even in March. So tell us, should we just sweep these stories under the rug and bury them? Totally your call.
Goodell: No, you know what, play 'em up. Not too big, but big enough. What we'll do is come down hard on a few guys, like Pacman, and then everybody will pat us on the back for being the only league that has the stones to discipline its players. Everyone will sing hosannahs to both the league and the union. Our secret is that, as Bill Belichick has shown over the last several years, about 95 percent of all players are expendable -- even All-Pro safeties like Pacman. So we set a few examples, these players get easily replaced, and we move on.
Just make sure you run a bunch of Pat Tillman stories to show America that NFL players are the only ones brave enough to fight for their country. Oh, and make sure you keep telling everybody that only baseball players use steroids and HGH. Got it?
ESPN guy: Will do.
