Bob's not smiling anymore

[Idaho]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/21/enzyte.indictment.ap/index.html

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- The maker of dietary supplements that claim to improve everything from sexuality to memory defrauded thousands of customers and banks of at least $100 million, federal authorities say.

A federal indictment names Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, its owner and president, Steven Warshak, and five other individuals, including Warshak's mother, on charges that include conspiracy, money laundering, and mail, wire and bank fraud.

They are accused by federal authorities of luring customers with free-trial offers and money-back guarantees, then billing their credit cards without authorization.

Warshak, who has 107 counts against him, denies the accusations and will continue to operate the company, his attorney said Thursday.

The company, which recently said it has 5 million customers worldwide, is known for its "Smiling Bob" ads that depict a man whose life gets better after he uses the company's Enzyte for "natural male enhancement."

 

[Freelance Hack]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/21/enzyte.indictment.ap/index.html

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- The maker of dietary supplements that claim to improve everything from sexuality to memory defrauded thousands of customers and banks of at least $100 million, federal authorities say.

A federal indictment names Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, its owner and president, Steven Warshak, and five other individuals, including Warshak's mother, on charges that include conspiracy, money laundering, and mail, wire and bank fraud.

They are accused by federal authorities of luring customers with free-trial offers and money-back guarantees, then billing their credit cards without authorization.

Warshak, who has 107 counts against him, denies the accusations and will continue to operate the company, his attorney said Thursday.

The company, which recently said it has 5 million customers worldwide, is known for its "Smiling Bob" ads that depict a man whose life gets better after he uses the company's Enzyte for "natural male enhancement."

They need to do something with Bob's wife. If mine were that atrocious looking, I'd also need something, anything, hell even a placebo, for my penis.

 

[Bob Cook]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

The beauty of how artfully those ads were worded and shot is that everyone THINKS Enzyte was supposed to give you a bigger member, but it actually was some sort of vitamin/pep pill thing that "enhanced" your energy. Of course, the ads also never told you that, like "Girls Gone Wild," once you bought your first batch, they kept sending them and billing you automatically, and even AOL was shocked at how hard, ahem, it was to get out of the deal.

So I'm told.

 

[Moderator1]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

 

[alleyallen]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

You're asking us?

 

[Evil Bastard (aka Chris_L)]

Not trolling for hits on my blog but I was way out ahead of the curve on this one.

http://large-regular.blogspot.com/2004/03/smiling-bob-enzyte-guy-no-product-or.html

That's from March of 2004

 

[Freelance Hack]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

Try this instead:

 

[Moderator1]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

You're asking us?

I mean, I just ordered a buttload. His wife looks so happy when he gets home. And he swings the big stick!


People really fall for that ****? There is indeed one born every ****ing minute.

 

[Claws for Concern]

Talk about hard news ...

 

[alleyallen]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

You're asking us?

I mean, I just ordered a buttload. His wife looks so happy when he gets home. And he swings the big stick!


People really fall for that ****? There is indeed one born every ****ing minute.

Just joking with you Moddy.

 

[kingcreole]

You mean it doesn't make it bigger ?!?!?!??!??!??!!!

You're asking us?

I mean, I just ordered a buttload. His wife looks so happy when he gets home. And he swings the big stick!


People really fall for that ****? There is indeed one born every ****ing minute.

Like all of our Mama's told us:

"If it's too good to be true, it probably is."

This is Bob. He no longer has to wear that ****ing smile, or listen to that horrible whistling music.

 

[Idaho]

Moddy order a 'buttload' of penis pills?

Ewwwww.
Not that there's anything 'wrong'' with that ...

 

[Freelance Hack]

Moddy order a 'buttload' of penis pills?

Wouldn't buttload better qualify suppositories than pills?

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Good.
He was scary.
And he made me sound like Brian Fellows.

 

[Bubbler]

They need to do something with Bob's wife. If mine were that atrocious looking, I'd also need something, anything, hell even a placebo, for my penis.

That's the truth. What a waste of a priapistic ****.

I still think he was smiling because he could blow himself and avoid Mrs. Bob altogether.

Maybe that's why a few of the ads have his male neighbors being jealous, perhaps they saw Smilin' Bob bobbing where no Bob has bobbed before.