Am I allowed to really like this Simmons column and also still be respectable?

[sirvaliantbrown]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071126&sportCat=nba

I really enjoyed the father-brainwashing-daughter-to-like-sports stuff - seems like stuff my own dad would have done if I'd been female. And it was fun seeing the sensory assault that is the "NBA Experience" through the eyes of a little girl.

And...it was sweet! Simmons never does sweet.

I liked it a lot. Is that permissible?

 

[HoopsMcCann]

doubtful

 

[Ben_Hecht]

Try to keep it quiet.

 

[budcrew08]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071126&sportCat=nba

I really enjoyed the father-brainwashing-daughter-to-like-sports stuff - seems like stuff my own dad would have done if I'd been female. And it was fun seeing the sensory assault that is the "NBA Experience" through the eyes of a little girl.

And...it was sweet! Simmons never does sweet.

I liked it a lot. Is that permissible?

FWIW, I thought it was one of his best columns I've ever read.
I think if you have to like one of his columns, that's probably the one.

But I think most of his stuff is pretty good, anyway.

 

[playthrough]

I've got a little girl that age, so yeah that was cute. And the two Boston references are well under his season average and appreciated by those outside New England.

All that said, I'm moving this to sports and news to avoid the inevitable "Simmons = journalism?" queries.

 

[playthrough]

...and indulge me in a story about my 2 1/2 year old girl. My wife's brother is a h.s. football coach, so we go every Friday night to the games. Of course the kid could usually care less, bouncing on the bleachers and sucking on lollipops. Her uncle's team went 8-2 in regular season and got to the second round of playoffs, losing at home to an under-.500 team. They fell behind 21-0 at halftime but came back in the second half, and with five minutes was down four and driving. All the momentum was with them and it looked like they'd probably pull it out.

Alas, at midfield the QB threw a bomb near the end zone which was picked off and returned for a TD. Home bleachers fell dead silent...except for my daughter, who yelled out "Bye-bye, football game!" The accuracy and timeliness of that comment was astounding. Of course she immediately yelled it two more times and I had to cover her mouth since some fans around us didn't share in the humor. But it was priceless.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Cute column.
I'd stay away from referencing Larry Bird and his kids, though.

 

[zeke12]

Re: Am I allowed to really like this Simmons column and also still be respectabl

Further proof that brainwashing is the only way to get people to watch the NBA. 8)

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

...and indulge me in a story about my 2 1/2 year old girl. My wife's brother is a h.s. football coach, so we go every Friday night to the games. Of course the kid could usually care less, bouncing on the bleachers and sucking on lollipops. Her uncle's team went 8-2 in regular season and got to the second round of playoffs, losing at home to an under-.500 team. They fell behind 21-0 at halftime but came back in the second half, and with five minutes was down four and driving. All the momentum was with them and it looked like they'd probably pull it out.

Alas, at midfield the QB threw a bomb near the end zone which was picked off and returned for a TD. Home bleachers fell dead silent...except for my daughter, who yelled out "Bye-bye, football game!" The accuracy and timeliness of that comment was astounding. Of course she immediately yelled it two more times and I had to cover her mouth since some fans around us didn't share in the humor. But it was priceless.

That's a hilarious story.

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

This is the kind of column that Bill used to make fun of people like Rick Reilly for writing. And it's part of the reason why it's going to be difficult to hold onto his hipster-cool with the 20-something frat set. We all grow older and things like kids make us see the world differently. That's inevitable. The thing is, the 20-something or what it's worth, I really liked the scene in his column about the Red Sox winning the WS where his daughter goBill Simmons used to mock this kind of thing extensively. Because when you're that young, it's hard to think you'll ever see the world that way. Will his audience grow with him? Maybe. But he'll also probably feel old and lame to kids who are 18 now in a few years who have no idea what The O.C. is, much less Karate Kid.

I just thought it was kind of funny that the smarmy hipster has morphed into something of a softie.

Excellent points.

 

[Huggy]

Who the **** gives a two-year-old Sprite?

 

[Songbird]

In the middle of reading it, and this line is really funny:

She was so delighted by the Clippers dancers that I'm more worried than ever about keeping her off the pole (every father's most important job)

 

[Webster]

Enjoyed the un-PC line about the players looking alike. Something that you can only slip in that way.

Liked the column, mostly because my daughter is nearly 2 1/2. After the Jets won last week, she was jumping around our bedroom yelling "J-E-T-S".

As long as he doesn't tap this well too often, it's a refreshing change of pace.

 

[Songbird]

And the eight ball reference was great. Jeezum.

Sweet column. As for the notion he's turned into a softie because he's now writing what he used to bash ... well, that's what happens when you become a daddy. I'm not one yet, if ever, but I'd venture to say 99.9 percent of male sportswriters will take a stab at writing something about their kids when the right moment presents itself.

 

[Philosopher]

Who the **** gives a two-year-old Sprite?

The same guy who feeds her ice cream whenever he wants to get her doing something. He shouldn't be so worried about keeping her off the pole ... he needs to keep her out of Jenny Craig.

 

[zeke12]

Re: Am I allowed to really like this Simmons column and also still be respectabl

In the middle of reading it, and this line is really funny:

She was so delighted by the Clippers dancers that I'm more worried than ever about keeping her off the pole (every father's most important job)

It's a great line, and it was even funnier when Chris Rock used it years ago.

 

[Bob Cook]

Writing about your kids is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Mainly, because your kids are never as fascinating to anyone else as they are to you, and because most of the time your kid isn't doing anything that much different than anyone else's. Except that your kid's parent has an 800-word hole to fill.

It's worse when it's your first or oldest child, and you're writing with wide eyes as if you've just discovered cold fusion.

 

[Songbird]

In the middle of reading it, and this line is really funny:

She was so delighted by the Clippers dancers that I'm more worried than ever about keeping her off the pole (every father's most important job)

It's a great line, and it was even funnier when Chris Rock used it years ago.

Really? So where's the reference point by Simmons? At least attribute it to Chris Rock somehow.

 

[Webster]

I think that the line has entered the mainstream enough that it doesn't need attribution.

 

[playthrough]

Maybe this is the start of The Sports Father Guy. I'll admit to being more likely to read that over the usual shtick of '80s references, but I might be in the minority. And I might get sick of it in two years as I did with him a while back.