Bubbler
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2004
- Messages
- 26,727
Rehashed from last year, all the extraneous **** taken out. Enjoy ...
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer is a cherished Christmas classic. The sad, but eventually triumphant journey of Rudolph warms our hearts. The Burl Ives songs entertain us. The animation enchants us.
Because of all that, we fail to see that, basically, Santa Claus is an asshole.
The evidence is clearly captured in Rudolph, a Santa-lite, if you will, which doesn't represent his true malevolent influence on the denizens of the North Pole.
Santa clearly created a culture where intolerance for others is the norm. He is your typical 19th Century robber baron, treating his loyal elves like they're property, setting up a factory town to maintain a monopoly, and at the North Pole at that.
Whipping his charges: Santa in action. The North
Pole despot allegedly paid his reindeer in oats and
Canadian money. Man reindeer suffered from reindeer pate,
a dreaded woodland disease which Santa made no effort
to fight. It was never confirmed but he also
allegedly recruited a ninth reindeer every year. The
weakest of his reindeer would have to fight the
newcomer to keep his job. Santa put a piston in
the brain of the loser ... and ate him.
Santa is also discriminatory with disabled people. Rudolph's red nose, misfit toys, the abominable snowman, all fall victim to Santa's intolerance.
His hate infected nearly everyone at the North Pole. To wit:
Rudolph – Driven to depression and flight from the oppressive assimilation culture Santa encouraged.
Donner – So fearful of losing Santa's favor, he ostracizes his son.
Hermey – Wants desperately to escape the serf-like monotony of elf life, but is too meek to strike out on his own. So he desires to become a dentist, probably to inflict subconscious pain to others passed on by his disapproving father.
Yukon Cornelius – His past with Santa is not explained by Rankin & Bass, but clearly something drastic happened. On the Island of Misfit Toys, Yukon sleeps with both Rudolph and Hermey. Many experts have said Yukon fits the classic pedophile profile.
Which brings us to the worst of Santa – the Island of Misfit Toys.
A gulag/Gitmo designed to hide Santa's failings and protect his worldwide credibility, the mistakes being an inevitable by-product of overworked elves who work for slave wages, even by Hong Kong sweatshop standards. King Moonracer is Santa's prison keeper, a man Santa headhunted from a French political prison during the height of the shadowy Franco-Algerian War. Moonracer allegedly ran afoul even of the usually torture-tolerant French authorities.
Santa had no remorse about the island, allowing Rankin & Bass to film there, albeit under heavy supervision. The labor camp, where the misfit toys did the dangerous toy-making work, melting down plastic, etc., was not shown.
Nor was the notorious Islet Of Misfit Sex Toys, where Santa practiced bizarre sexual practices with a half-crazed Mrs. Claus and several drug-addicted, questionably-willing reindeer and elves.
Rankin & Bass were shocked by what they saw. The Rudolph director's cut, which portrayed the Island much more realistically, including a grisly scene where a Tin Soldier dressed as Davy Crockett blows his brains out with a musket, was cut under duress and alleged physical intimidation by Santa's legal team and, later, the abominable snowman.
(continued ...)
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer is a cherished Christmas classic. The sad, but eventually triumphant journey of Rudolph warms our hearts. The Burl Ives songs entertain us. The animation enchants us.
Because of all that, we fail to see that, basically, Santa Claus is an asshole.
The evidence is clearly captured in Rudolph, a Santa-lite, if you will, which doesn't represent his true malevolent influence on the denizens of the North Pole.
Santa clearly created a culture where intolerance for others is the norm. He is your typical 19th Century robber baron, treating his loyal elves like they're property, setting up a factory town to maintain a monopoly, and at the North Pole at that.
Whipping his charges: Santa in action. The North
Pole despot allegedly paid his reindeer in oats and
Canadian money. Man reindeer suffered from reindeer pate,
a dreaded woodland disease which Santa made no effort
to fight. It was never confirmed but he also
allegedly recruited a ninth reindeer every year. The
weakest of his reindeer would have to fight the
newcomer to keep his job. Santa put a piston in
the brain of the loser ... and ate him.
Santa is also discriminatory with disabled people. Rudolph's red nose, misfit toys, the abominable snowman, all fall victim to Santa's intolerance.
His hate infected nearly everyone at the North Pole. To wit:
Rudolph – Driven to depression and flight from the oppressive assimilation culture Santa encouraged.
Donner – So fearful of losing Santa's favor, he ostracizes his son.
Hermey – Wants desperately to escape the serf-like monotony of elf life, but is too meek to strike out on his own. So he desires to become a dentist, probably to inflict subconscious pain to others passed on by his disapproving father.
Yukon Cornelius – His past with Santa is not explained by Rankin & Bass, but clearly something drastic happened. On the Island of Misfit Toys, Yukon sleeps with both Rudolph and Hermey. Many experts have said Yukon fits the classic pedophile profile.
Which brings us to the worst of Santa – the Island of Misfit Toys.
A gulag/Gitmo designed to hide Santa's failings and protect his worldwide credibility, the mistakes being an inevitable by-product of overworked elves who work for slave wages, even by Hong Kong sweatshop standards. King Moonracer is Santa's prison keeper, a man Santa headhunted from a French political prison during the height of the shadowy Franco-Algerian War. Moonracer allegedly ran afoul even of the usually torture-tolerant French authorities.
Santa had no remorse about the island, allowing Rankin & Bass to film there, albeit under heavy supervision. The labor camp, where the misfit toys did the dangerous toy-making work, melting down plastic, etc., was not shown.
Nor was the notorious Islet Of Misfit Sex Toys, where Santa practiced bizarre sexual practices with a half-crazed Mrs. Claus and several drug-addicted, questionably-willing reindeer and elves.
Rankin & Bass were shocked by what they saw. The Rudolph director's cut, which portrayed the Island much more realistically, including a grisly scene where a Tin Soldier dressed as Davy Crockett blows his brains out with a musket, was cut under duress and alleged physical intimidation by Santa's legal team and, later, the abominable snowman.
(continued ...)
