College visits with your kid

[Flip Wilson]

Luckily, she is the most frugal member of the family. I had to put new tires on her car last week and she apologized to me for it. My mother is an SMU alum and gently mentioned it to the kiddo, who looked up the cost of attending and immediately shut it down.

A buddy has been warning me that FAFSA applications are a major pain.

I know a guy with the last name Null. He chronicled on Facebook his kid's struggles with filling out the FAFSA. Evidently, the online application thinks the word "Null" means that that information isn't available, or something like that. It took months and plenty of phone calls to FAFSA people to get if figured out.

If your last name isn't Null, it's not really that difficult. It's time-consuming, and you and your kid have to both fill out online applications.

 

[Here me roar]

If she knows what she wants her major to be, try to visit that department when you make a campus visit. I meet with plenty of prospective students and parents and it's one of the more enjoyable parts of my teaching job. And try to visit when school is in session. It'll give you a better feel for the campus.

And I know I'm going to take heat for this, but journalism isn't a bad major for law school. She'll learn to gather and summarize information and turn it back out in a usable form, and that's a good skill to have. Maybe a JOU-political science double major. We have a lot of students doing double majors.

I always appreciated the very broad field of study for my journalism degree. Only a quarter of the hours were in journalism, the rest were everything else. It gives a really good basic knowledge

 

[Baron Scicluna]

A lot of good ideas and humble bragging so far. A few other ideas:

* Ask about each school’s mental health resources. While your kid may be super-adjusted, life circumstances do come up, and you hope there are good resources available for students who may just need someone to talk to, or may be in worse crisis.
* Greek life. Do the frats and sororities dominate the campus social scene to the point where you’re a total loser if you’re not in one, or are they just another aspect of campus life? If they are dominant, would your kid want to join one, or feel emotionally comfortable being an independent?
* For your child, ask what size of school are they looking to get in? A huge school with 40K students where they are a number in the lecture hall in a city with pro sports teams, or a 4K school out in the sticks where there are more cows than people, or something in between?
* Political activism. Is the campus a hotbed for it, or is it pretty quiet, especially if she’s considering a legal career. Or if it is a hotbed, are they truly open for multiple viewpoints (whatever they may be), or do they look for conformity?
* Beyond just crime stats and campus safety propaganda, what protocols and resources do they have for victims of sexual assault? As scary as this sounds, yes, this is something you may have to consider.

 

[dixiehack]

I would be pretty ruthless about asking what aid and scholarships are available beyond federal assistance (God please let that be a thing when my daughter is ready.) Might not get firm numbers this soon but then again you just might. And once you have that you can shop that package like you are buying a car and see who is willing to match or beat it.

If she is considering a public school out of state, see if they have programs to waive out of state tuition for residents of your state. (Many border states have started this as they grow desperate to fill seats.)

Obviously it becomes her choice and she has to find the right fit on more than just price. But if she is open to pragmatism, I suggest finding the cheapest in-state school and then blowing out the budget for the best law school she can get into.

 

[WolvEagle]

There's a lot of great advice here, and congrats on your daughter doing so well - definitely something to be proud of. It's important that she lands at a school where she feels comfortable. Sometimes the gut reaction is the right one.

One thing that stuck with me was being a freshman orientation group leader. At one point in the program, the groups were supposed to follow this discussion form that one of our university VPs created, but I felt it was generic (his heart was in the right place, though). So, the co-leader and I took our group away from the other groups to a building where I worked. I had a key and it was a weekend, so we took them to the building's lounge (it was a former dorm). There, the co-leader and I talked about our experiences at the school - what to expect in real-life terms. We came from differing interests, so our perspectives were different, which was a good thing. I hope that the group members got something out of it.

As noted above, get perspectives from a cross-section of students, if you can. It'll give her (and you) a more complete picture of life at the school. And, don't just check out the school - check out the town, too. There were parts of town I was comfortable in and parts I wasn't.

I went to a state school and got a great education with lots of hands-on experience. You get out of the experience what you put into it, regardless of what school you attend.

 

[micropolitan guy]

Eat lunch in the dining hall.

See if you can get into a dorm.

Check out the union and rec center.

Ask the normal students how many of them leave campus on the weekend. You don't want to be at a suitcase school.

Never toured undergrad campuses with Micro Jr. because he knew where he wanted to go. Did some law school tours where most of the criteria for undergrad tours didn't apply.

 

[I Should Coco]

My favorite campus visit with my previously mentioned daughter was Western Washington University in Bellingham. They had a prospective student day and you could meet with a professor in your potential major, which was very helpful.

They also had a student activity fair with different organizations staffing booths and other activities in the school gym. My favorite was walking past the Planned Parenthood booth, which had a whole bunch of lit about birth control and the risk of STDs … along with a big bowl of “help yourself” condoms.

I glanced at that and the woman at the booth said, “Hey Dad, we want her to be safe while enjoying college!” I had to laugh.

 

[Gym Beam]

Let your daughter wander around campus unaccompanied for as long as she wants. That's the only way she will get a true idea of how it feels to her. Tours are OK, but they don't give a true picture of how things are. As mentioned above, she should have a meal in the dining hall, see how it works and if she enjoys the atmosphere. Hang out in the library for a bit. Eavesdrop in the student union (if there is one). Check out the classrooms as sgreenwell said.

Above all else, as has been noted by more than one person above... don't go into debt! If you have to take a loan out to go to a school, don't. Your daughter should get plenty of financial aid, unless you're rolling in the dough

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

Listen to your child.

My wife and I took our daughter to our alma mater, a small liberal arts college in our state. With her grades and test scores, and being a legacy, they offered full-ride, with housing, for all 4 years up front. No work study or anything.

We were walking around campus after the meeting in the admissions office, and she burst into tears. She hated everything about it and the town and was worried that we were going to make her go there.

We listened to her and didn't make her, she went to State U., worked her ass off for 4 years and during summers, graduated with honors and without debt, and still lives in the State U. college town, gainfully employed, near friends for live, and is thriving.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

My daughter is three years younger than @Inky_Wretch's daughter, so I obviously have no first-hand tales to tell about a child going to college. But I'm typing this from the fetal position b/c Inky has been telling me from day one to enjoy each era b/c they fly by and then you're on to the next one and the next one for me is high school and I am just not ready for that. :D

I will add that the commuter/suitcase school thing actually enhanced my enjoyment of the college experience. I went there from a junior college so I was a little older and maybe a little more independent. I also had the good fortune of making fast friends within the school newspaper and we were all living on campus and it felt like we had the joint to ourselves on the weekends. Never any trouble getting into the on-campus theatre for cheap movies or getting into the bars or getting a table quickly at the on-campus restaurant or getting a prime seat at an on-campus athletic event. Everyone else's loss was my gain and I was never ever bored on a weekend.

 

[dixiehack]

I never got to go with my son on any of his visits, and it made me sad that I was shut out of that. It looks much more promising that I will get to go on some with my daughter, even though it is pretty likely she will end up at Bama.

 

[micropolitan guy]

I never got to go with my son on any of his visits, and it made me sad that I was shut out of that. It looks much more promising that I will get to go on some with my daughter, even though it is pretty likely she will end up at Bama.

Drop her off on campus. Go to the Houndstooth. Pick her up five hours later, tell her to drive home. Successful visit.

If she's touring Clemson, same thing. Drop her off, go to the Tiger Town Tavern, pick her up in five hours.

 

[dixiehack]

This will be her second summer doing what is called UA Early College, which is basically dual enrollment. Between that and living in Tuscaloosa County (albeit 30 miles away) she’s familiar, although thankfully not with the Tooth.

 

[qtlaw]

Having had the pleasure of doing this with both boys, my #1 is enjoy the trips. I got alone time with them which I cherish to this day.

As others have said, let them choose. I/wifey had thoughts but we let them choose and it was best. I wanted one to go to my school because it was a great program and significantly cheaper than out of state but it worked out better for him.

As for pre-law, my advice is study a program that she enjoys and will excel in. GPA is huge factor in admissions. 4.0 in easiest major will top 3.2 in engineering every time. The best pre-law training IHMO is enjoying reading, analyzing,/problem solving and writing in simple words. My engineering studies help me organize thoughts and problem solving but that’s not for everyone.

DM if you ever want to discuss further offline, happy to help in any way.

 

[PaperDoll]

I did all my college tours in the summer, both because that's when my family had time and to make it easier to compare.

I had very little idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I became a psychology major because it had the fewest requirements of anything in Arts & Sciences. I took an extra class each semester (since the cost was the same, not by credit or course) because it seemed like something I wanted to learn. Thanks to that, plus APs and pre-college credit, I could have graduated a year early from a snooty school if I'd done any planning (or if most of the undergrad advisors didn't utterly suck). Oops. But I've got a major, two minors, and a lot of extra opportunities to score on Jeopardy!

I think pre-law would provide a similar opportunity to explore. And anyway, 80% of undergrads change their majors at least once.

I know a guy with the last name Null. He chronicled on Facebook his kid's struggles with filling out the FAFSA. Evidently, the online application thinks the word "Null" means that that information isn't available, or something like that. It took months and plenty of phone calls to FAFSA people to get if figured out.

If your last name isn't Null, it's not really that difficult. It's time-consuming, and you and your kid have to both fill out online applications.

Fill it out even if you don't think the school will give you any money. Back in the day (year, decade), FAFSA was a prerequisite for work-study and most other decent on-campus jobs.

Oh, and a message via my friends whose kids are seniors now: Have safeties for the safeties. I know one kid who has gotten in pretty much anywhere (though still waiting for the prestige names) with honors options and decent scholarship potential. Another is facing a lot of rejections (and super-smart mom is really upset). A third knew what he wanted to do, and where he'd essentially get paid to do it, and he got into his only choice. If there's any way to lessen the pressure on your kid, do it. And start early.

 

[lakefront]

My kiddo is a junior and we are starting to visit colleges. I am Gen X and, frankly, didn’t visit the campus of any of the three colleges I attended before I was enrolled. So this is completely and utterly new to me.

I’m sure some things will pop into my head to ask about. But, right now, I’d love any tips or advice parents who’ve been through this can give me.

(FWIW, she is a 4.0 GPA, AP-class taking, 29 ACT student who plays violin, is involved in statewide youth leadership through our church and serves on a youth council for one of our Senators. And, today, she got an unsolicited piece of recruiting mail from Harvard.)

My granddaughter just went through this. You will get a ton of mail from the schools, even if they are not what she is looking for. She sounds like a great kid, good luck to her.
Mine ended up at Rochester Institute. We tried, lightly, to have her go overseas but at least she will be near the Canadian border.

 

[LanceyHoward]

My kiddo is a junior and we are starting to visit colleges. I am Gen X and, frankly, didn’t visit the campus of any of the three colleges I attended before I was enrolled. So this is completely and utterly new to me.

I’m sure some things will pop into my head to ask about. But, right now, I’d love any tips or advice parents who’ve been through this can give me.

(FWIW, she is a 4.0 GPA, AP-class taking, 29 ACT student who plays violin, is involved in statewide youth leadership through our church and serves on a youth council for one of our Senators. And, today, she got an unsolicited piece of recruiting mail from Harvard.)

My advice is try to look at which organizations recruit at the school. Get a feel for how much effort the school puts into job and graduate school placement.

I went to Colorado as an undergraduate (a long time ago so it may have changed) but the Business School had close to zero interest in job placement and none in placing kids in grad schools. I went to Indiana for an MBA and was shocked because they had a dedicated job placement office for the College of Business and actively solicited companies to recruit the school.

Also look at the companies that do recruit the school. For example, if you are an accounting major you want to go to a school the large accounting firms recruit.

Avoid schools that when asked about job placement start talking about a self-directed search. A school with a good placement record will be happy to tell you about it. I am using accounting as an example but I think the same thing apply to journalism or any other field.

 

[LanceyHoward]

I did all my college tours in the summer, both because that's when my family had time and to make it easier to compare.

I had very little idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I became a psychology major because it had the fewest requirements of anything in Arts & Sciences. I took an extra class each semester (since the cost was the same, not by credit or course) because it seemed like something I wanted to learn. Thanks to that, plus APs and pre-college credit, I could have graduated a year early from a snooty school if I'd done any planning (or if most of the undergrad advisors didn't utterly suck). Oops. But I've got a major, two minors, and a lot of extra opportunities to score on Jeopardy!

I think pre-law would provide a similar opportunity to explore. And anyway, 80% of undergrads change their majors at least once.


Fill it out even if you don't think the school will give you any money. Back in the day (year, decade), FAFSA was a prerequisite for work-study and most other decent on-campus jobs.

Oh, and a message via my friends whose kids are seniors now: Have safeties for the safeties. I know one kid who has gotten in pretty much anywhere (though still waiting for the prestige names) with honors options and decent scholarship potential. Another is facing a lot of rejections (and super-smart mom is really upset). A third knew what he wanted to do, and where he'd essentially get paid to do it, and he got into his only choice. If there's any way to lessen the pressure on your kid, do it. And start early.

I was President of the Board of a small overseas school. There was absolutely no logic in the admittance decisions. The kid who got into Princeton got rejected at Cornell. The kid from the school who got accepted to Cornell was a slug,

One of my son's got into UCLA and USC out-of-state and wait-listed at Chicago. One of his safety schools had been Minnesota and they rejected him.

 

[Webster]

As I’ve mentioned before here, we took the college admission process very seriously at Casa Webster. My kids are both academically inclined and don’t play sports/ski/etc. So we used our vacations and weekends visiting schools (51 combined). By way of contrast, I visited 1 school before I applied. It’s a fun and scary process which unfortunately has led itself open to being gamed.

It is important to understand the process in terms of what schools look for demonstrated interest, like personal or virtual visits, and which don’t care. My older kid visited the school of their choice twice and did a couple of virtual chats with faculty when it was offered. If you are looking for selective schools, it’s important to know which AP/honors classes should be taken because schools evaluate on how rigorous the curriculum the student took compared to other kids at the same school.

Also, know the deadlines (especially school specific ones) and don’t wait until the last minute. We’ve heard a lot of horror stories of kids who didn’t take the process seriously. If your kid is interested in a school which uses Early Decision, it can be a big statistical advantage, especially for smaller schools. Both of my kids applied and got in ED1, but it’s a big choice for a 17 year old to make and my younger one agonized over the final choice for weeks. The school which my younger one is going to next year accepted 56% of its class through ED1, so the odds go down if you don’t do that at certain schools

That being said, it’s a crap shoot. Visiting schools can be so dependent on the tour guide or the weather. My older son visited Brandeis and then Tufts on the same 95 degree day. Tufts could have been handing out $1,000 bills and adorable puppies and he was still going to hate it because of exhaustion. Our tour guide at Wesleyan was incredibly hung over/still impaired and spent the whole time making inside jokes to his friend who joined most of the tour. Scratch that one off. At the same time, don’t base your opinion on how funny/smart the tour guide is.

The best you can do is try to figure out the vibe of what your kid wants in terms of size/location of school, even virtually. Once you have an idea, you can put similar schools on the list. Students are super willing to talk when we walked around places and most schools will allow the kids to sit in a larger class.

 

[dixiehack]

Also try and find out how far afield the career office realistically does placements. Kennesaw State was my bounce back school because my newspaper gig at the time was nearby. Had I wanted to stay in Atlanta my prospects were decent. The then-wife wanted to move back to Alabama and they had no connections and no clue about the Birmingham market.

Then again, your daughter’s future rides much more on where she gets admitted to law school.