You chose... poorly.

Bad decisions. We all make them, and if we're lucky we can laugh about them once we have suffered the ramifications. We're not talking about "I drove drunk and killed that homeless guy"-level of bad judgment, but here's my latest epic fail:

I'm packing for a move, already packed up the pots. Microwave is already donated to a local charity. But I was hungry. Order in? Nope. I opted for that last can of chicken soup left in the cupboard. And since cooking would have meant unpacking a pot, I said "Meh. I'll just eat it cold. Right out of the can!"

That was Monday. I'm just now recovering from a momentous case of trouser chili that would shock and amaze even George Brett. Life lesson: At least nuke that shit before spooning it down your gullet, or stock up on bathroom reading material.

So... you?

 

(Or, one might argue, sharing the tale of my scatological trauma...)

 

Some people here went to Mizzou.

 

"Trouser chili" ... dayumnation

 

In the vernacular, you macaronied your shorts. Hate when that happens.

 

Suggesting Phil as A1-worthy.

 

Me, a 12-pack of Coors, a razor and a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide

 

Becoming a journalist.

 

Getting married in Vegas. Since divorced (shocker?) but have a lovely 8 year old daughter out of the deal. So it wasn't all bad. But yeah, if a chick suggests skipping the traditional wedding to just get married it Vegas, don't mistake it for her being down to earth.

 

I'm still waiting to make my first good decision.

 

I once tried to swim out to the second sandbar by myself at the beach after a night of drinking while my friends dozed in the sand. Almost didn't make it back.

When the pizza joint we worked in finally got beer by the keg, me and 2 others filled a punch bowl with beer and drank it with straws. We had to clean up the floor after.

Most of my bad decisions/regrets were things I didn't do, though.

 

Took two jobs in newspapers. Two!