This Week in Militantly Ignorant Jackasses

[MisterCreosote]

A "columnist" in Utah writes some dumb "column." A reader points out to him that a phrase he used, "the reason is because," is grammatically incorrect (not to mention redundant and wordy). The "columnist" then writes a 600-word response, in which he gleefully lists all of the rules of writing that he doesn't know or care about:

http://www.standard.net/stories/2013/09/10/writer-chastised-egregious-grammatical-error-column

What is this, Big Word Week here in the Top of Utah?

Look, I picked up English the way the majority of us did — on the mean streets of Anytown, USA. I learned to speak and write, not from studying and applying grammatical rules, but from hearing the language, from reading it.

Oh yes, and from television. Lots and lots of television.

You Grammar Nazis need to know what you’re dealing with here: My language skills are only slightly above those of Karl Malone. Sure, I do know what a noun and a verb are, but I have to think about it for a minute before I get that whole adverb/adjective thing right. And sorry, but frankly I wouldn’t know a gerund or a prepositional phrase if it came up and bit me on the dangling participle.

The fact that Karl Malone is fairly well-spoken and in no way a poster boy for ****ty grammar only makes it more ridiculous.

 

[VJ]

I thought this would be about Whitlock

 

[albert77]

Actually, this is a column I wish I had the guts to write. Some snooty Grammar Nazi whose asshole is so tight it squeaks, with nothing better to do with her time than constantly berating a reporter over a nit-picky bit of word usage would get old real quick.

And there were a couple of places he had me rolling on the floor. Like the bit with the editor: "kindly get, of my office, the hell out," was pretty hysterical.

Now I probably wouldn't have identified her my name, but I've had readers like that. We once had a guy who would red-line every single typo in the paper then send it back to us. It got real aggravating after awhile, but it did cause us to self-edit our writing a little closer.

But when he red-lined the word Canadiens in a column I wrote about the National Hockey League, saying it was incorrect, I fired back. We never heard from the guy again.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

When I worked at the one-man shop, I once had a woman complain about some grammatical trifle in something I wrote from about 1,000 words of copy and tell me, "You need a better editor."

I responded, "You're looking at him."

She was silent.

 

[Versatile]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

 

[lcjjdnh]

Reminds me of a small bit from the classic movie The Paper. The condensed* version:

Copy Editor: What's the plural of "ultimatum"? Ultimatums or ultimata
Editor: Smart guys say "ultimata." Our guy says "ultimatums." We're gonna go with our guy.

* The scene---as many of the scenes do---tries to capture the feel of a hectic newsroom, so there's a lot of side comments in between all this. This is the gist of it, though.

 

[hondo]

Actually, this is a column I wish I had the guts to write. Some snooty Grammar Nazi whose asshole is so tight it squeaks, with nothing better to do with her time than constantly berating a reporter over a nit-picky bit of word usage would get old real quick.

And there were a couple of places he had me rolling on the floor. Like the bit with the editor: "kindly get, of my office, the hell out," was pretty hysterical.

Now I probably wouldn't have identified her my name, but I've had readers like that. We once had a guy who would red-line every single typo in the paper then send it back to us. It got real aggravating after awhile, but it did cause us to self-edit our writing a little closer.

But when he red-lined the word Canadiens in a column I wrote about the National Hockey League, saying it was incorrect, I fired back. We never heard from the guy again.

Yes, because God forbid that a newspaper, which is supposedly written by professionals, actually feature good grammar. It's be belief that accuracy extends to the proper use of the written word. The columnist in Utah was an idiot in the first place, and made himself a much bigger assclown later.

 

[LongTimeListener]

"The reason is because" is redundant and awkward, and this truth isn't all that deep in the grammar playbook. The guy is being a tool.

 

[RonClements]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

Yeah, I'm wondering how this guy has a job writing for any newspaper if you doesn't have a firm grasp of the English language and its grammar rules.

 

[Versatile]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

Yeah, I'm wondering how this guy has a job writing for any newspaper if you doesn't have a firm grasp of the English language and its grammar rules.

He don't seem to care.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

I didn't yell. I just calmly stated the fact. She thought our little paper had this massive newsroom of editors.

 

[Captain Obvious]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

I didn't yell. I just calmly stated the fact. She thought our little paper had this massive newsroom of editors.

Read all about it: ****ty paper is still ****ty.

 

[Bradley Guire]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

I didn't yell. I just calmly stated the fact. She thought our little paper had this massive newsroom of editors.

Read all about it: ****ty paper is still ****ty.

Word. Petty, juvenile fight that wastes column inches to stroke his own ego. Maybe his editor should have told him to get off his ass, get out of the office, and report on something that mattered that day? Nah.

 

[RonClements]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

I didn't yell. I just calmly stated the fact. She thought our little paper had this massive newsroom of editors.

Read all about it: ****ty paper is still ****ty.

Word. Petty, juvenile fight that wastes column inches to stroke his own ego. Maybe his editor should have told him to get off his ass, get out of the office, and report on something that mattered that day? Nah.

Who cares about NEWS as long as there are enough copy inches to fill the space? What do you think this is, a NEWSpaper?

 

[Frylock]

Egregarious

 

[JR]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

Agree, except readers don't pay bills because the reason is advertisers do :)

 

[Starman]

I confess I’m disappointed and puzzled by your intractable attitude. Why are you defending by continuing to write what is a clear violation of correct grammar? Is the reason simply that (not because) you’re sick of hearing from me and want me to go away?

Yes.


(While we're at it, *****, "that," as used here, as usual, is superfluous. Now go away.)

 

[Bradley Guire]

Yes, it really pays to yell at the people who (partially) pay your bills because they expect you to maintain a high standard in your profession.

Agree, except readers don't pay bills because the reason is advertisers do :)

Ha! Nice.

 

[BillyT]

Starman: Our copy desk goes after "that," "on," and "the" with a vengeance.

 

[dirtybird]

Starman: Our copy desk goes after "that," "on," and "the" with a vengeance.

As well it should.