The Royko Thread

[HoopsMcCann]

when i was in college i was covering a game at ole miss, and picked up their student paper... they ran syndicated royko columns and it was under 'mike royko -- our favorite yankee'

that just cracked me up -- and still does

 

[MN9]

This is not meant to detract one bit from the praise heaped on Royko in this thread, all of which is richly deserved, but Royko did once find himself in a position similar to Ozzie Guillen regarding his use of the same term. The following excerpt is from a 1995 Wall Street Journal article which implied that Royko had become an insufferable bully, and discussed the circumstances of his 1994 drunk driving arrest:


Investigating officer John Manella grabbed Royko's arm. The columnist yelled, ``F-- you, fag, get your f--- hands off me ... '' according to a report filed by the Winnetka Police Department. An ambulance was summoned. ``Get away from me, what are you, fags? Why (sic) are you wearing those fag gloves for?'' he yelled at the crew.

Royko was handcuffed and brought to the station. Officer Ron Schimian asked if Royko wanted medical help. The 62-year-old columnist responded, ``What are you, Croatian? You f--- loser! What's your ethnicity, you fag?'' For the mug shot, he stuck out his tongue.

 

[DyePack]

This is not meant to detract one bit from the praise heaped on Royko in this thread, all of which is richly deserved, but Royko did once find himself in a position similar to Ozzie Guillen regarding his use of the same term.  The following excerpt is from a 1995 Wall Street Journal article which implied that Royko had become an insufferable bully, and discussed the circumstances of his 1994 drunk driving arrest:


Investigating officer John Manella grabbed Royko's arm. The columnist yelled, ``F-- you, fag, get your f--- hands off me ... '' according to a report filed by the Winnetka Police Department. An ambulance was summoned. ``Get away from me, what are you, fags? Why (sic) are you wearing those fag gloves for?'' he yelled at the crew.

   Royko was handcuffed and brought to the station. Officer Ron Schimian asked if Royko wanted medical help. The 62-year-old columnist responded, ``What are you, Croatian? You f--- loser! What's your ethnicity, you fag?'' For the mug shot, he stuck out his tongue.

Yes, that is certainly similar to Ozzie Guillen. One person uses the slur multiple times, resists arrest, endangers motorists by driving while intoxicated, uses the same slur on the medical personnel who come to treat him, tries to insult someone else's ethnicity ...

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[zeke12]

Dye, just go away.

One of the best lines I ever read about Royko (and I forget who wrote it) was that "In Chicago, 'Read Royko' became an acceptable substitute for 'Good Morning.'"

 

[Armchair_QB]

The column from a couple pages back about the father taking his son to a Cubs game is pretty good but my favorite Royko Cub column is the one he wrote after the Padres knocked them out in 84. It captured absolutely perfectly how it felt knowing they had blown a chance at the series that year.

 

[Ace]

This is not meant to detract one bit from the praise heaped on Royko in this thread, all of which is richly deserved, but Royko did once find himself in a position similar to Ozzie Guillen regarding his use of the same term. The following excerpt is from a 1995 Wall Street Journal article which implied that Royko had become an insufferable bully, and discussed the circumstances of his 1994 drunk driving arrest:


Investigating officer John Manella grabbed Royko's arm. The columnist yelled, ``F-- you, fag, get your f--- hands off me ... '' according to a report filed by the Winnetka Police Department. An ambulance was summoned. ``Get away from me, what are you, fags? Why (sic) are you wearing those fag gloves for?'' he yelled at the crew.

Royko was handcuffed and brought to the station. Officer Ron Schimian asked if Royko wanted medical help. The 62-year-old columnist responded, ``What are you, Croatian? You f--- loser! What's your ethnicity, you fag?'' For the mug shot, he stuck out his tongue.

Yes, that is certainly similar to Ozzie Guillen. One person uses the slur multiple times, resists arrest, endangers motorists by driving while intoxicated, uses the same slur on the medical personnel who come to treat him, tries to insult someone else's ethnicity ...

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Yeah, but Royko wrote like a guy who might do that very thing. He was no phony.

Mariotti writes like a guy who has a pair of balls.

 

[DyePack]

 

[Herbert Anchovy]

Now THAT's heartbreaking.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

I think one of those posters ought to hang in the Oval Office these days myself.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

. . . not to mention the VP's foxhole . . .

 

[jason_whitlock]

all great men and women have flaws. royko was a drunk. he's not the only man/woman with a horrible flaw. royko is one of the main reasons i rarely drink. his dad owned a bar, and when you spend that kind of time in a bar, you pick up some terrible habits (along with a great deal of insight about everyday people). i can count on one hand the number of times i've had a drink at my dad's bar.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

And I can count on the fingers of no hands the number of times I;ve been stopped for DUI and questioned the cop's ancestry and sexual orientation.

 

[Ace]

And I can count on the fingers of no hands the number of times I;ve been stopped for DUI and questioned the cop's ancestry and sexual orientation.

Give the guy a break. He was sloshed.

 

[Double Down]

True story.

Friend of mine was drinking one winter night at the Goat with Royko and several other Tribune people. At bar time, Royko was, as one might guess, 11 sheets to the wind, and in no position to drive. In those days, the Tribune people would take turns driving him home, and it was my friend's turn. So he drives to Mike's house, pulls up in front, and Royko barks, "go around back, you dolt! I can't be waking up my wife at this hour!"

Friend drives through the alley, and Royko gets out. He's tottering from side to side a bit, walks halfway through his backyard, then decides he needs to take a ****. Tribune rule was, you pretty much had to walk Royko to his door when he was drunk. Friend doesn't want to just drive away for fear Royko will pass out face down in the snow in his back yard, and my friend will be the guy who killed the greatest columnist in Chicago history. So he gets out of his car and waits. It's a bit uncomfortable and awkward, but whatever.

Out of the darkness, Royko's second wife suddenly appears, hollerin' at the top of her lungs. She procedes to hit my friend over his head with some kind of object.

"Get out of here you ****in' peppin Tom!" she yells. "You sick *******. Watching an old man talk ****! Get out of here before I call the police!"

Royko, with nary a look back, had already ducked inside.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

Wow.

 

[Shortstuff]

A lot of people thought Royko's columns about San Diego before the 1984 play-offs were partly responsbile for the Cubs choke. He basically called the fans a bunch of pussies. When the Cubs went out west for the final three games the fans there were rabid.

 

[zeke12]

Well, I guess we've solved it.

No one who was a drunk can make a list of great writers.

I'll be done revising the canon sometime in 2439.

 

[DyePack]

A lot of people thought Royko's columns about San Diego before the 1984 play-offs were partly responsbile for the Cubs choke. He basically called the fans a bunch of pussies. When the Cubs went out west for the final three games the fans there were rabid.

He was just as ignorant a few years later with the talk of realignment. Basically he said Chicago was not a "cowboy boot" town, and the Cubs shouldn't be put in the NL West. Too bad for him the schedule was unbalanced, and the Cubs would have ended up with just about the same schedule as they already had.

But the realignment plan was scrapped, and Royko had a few thousand drinks.

 

[CarlSpackler]

Hemingway's drunkeness really took away from his writing too.

 

[DyePack]

Hemingway's drunkeness really took away from his writing too.

Again comparing a columnist to one of the great modern writers.

Apples, meet oranges. Oranges, here are some apples.