Bruhman
Active Member
This was included at the bottom of our daily interoffice critique.
Yes, we're facing layoffs here, like everywhere else in Gannettland. But, hey, sometimes you've got to laugh (or at least try) to keep from crying:
SIGNS YOUR COMPANY IS PLANNING A LAYOFF
- The CEO is frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
- Dr. Kevorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."
- Mac shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
- Company softball team down-sized to chess team.
- Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
- Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle."
- Company president now driving a Yugo.
- Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
- Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.
- Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
- Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
- Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
- Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Outlet.
- Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.
And here's one from yours truly:
- Your CEO goes on medical leave with a back condition.
Yes, we're facing layoffs here, like everywhere else in Gannettland. But, hey, sometimes you've got to laugh (or at least try) to keep from crying:
SIGNS YOUR COMPANY IS PLANNING A LAYOFF
- The CEO is frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
- Dr. Kevorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."
- Mac shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
- Company softball team down-sized to chess team.
- Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
- Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle."
- Company president now driving a Yugo.
- Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
- Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.
- Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
- Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
- Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
- Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Outlet.
- Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.
And here's one from yours truly:
- Your CEO goes on medical leave with a back condition.
