Please Do Not Hit Teammates With Your Willy ...

[Riptide]

They really know how to party up there in Minnesota.

Kellen also was accused of pulling down his pants while in a Minneapolis parking-ramp elevator with his teammates and two student managers, ages 11 and 12. He then jumped on teammates’ backs and hit them with his penis, the charges say.

http://deadsp.in/15GZETy

 

[LongTimeListener]

Even Wisconsin thinks those guys are weird.

 

[Riptide]

Even Wisconsin thinks those guys are weird.

There's a Brett Favre joke in there somewhere.

 

[heyabbott]

Huma Abedin sees no problem

 

[Steak Snabler]

The accused. Seems like a model young man:

 

[Moderator1]

He play for the Mollywhoppers?

My dumb old ass almost used that in a tweet, thinking it meant ass kicking or something. Something stopped me. I told my son who was aghast is dad could be so dense.

"Somebody," he said, "ought to mollywop YOU."

No respect, I'm telling you.

 

[Beef03]

Kellen's attorney maintained that the attacks were not sexual, and that the victims were coerced into believing they were:

"You go from thinking that you're being roughhoused as a football player to that you're a victim of sexual assault because you're told that," Chris Karpan said.


Really? Since when has "digitally penetrating" someone been considered roughhousing? That might be the dumbest thing I've read in a while.

Although this sounds somewhat similar to the "Buttdragging" incident in wrestling from a few years ago.