Only in California

[writing irish]

Burglar awakens victims with spice rub, sausage slap.

http://www.fresnobee.com/384/story/849202.html

So was the spice rub a true rub, with just the right amount of hot and mild peppers, garlic and herbs? Or was it a sort of ad hoc rub, made up of whatever the burglar found in the cupboard?

And why no quotes from the dog that ate the guy's eight-incher?

 

[mike311gd]

If this is a one-day thing and we spare the euphemisms, an eight-inch sausage, definitely. Think of the experience.

The sunlight is peaceful, the alarm is normal. But the spice rub, while nice, is a little bit too inviting.

How can you not laugh at night, knowing that someone clubbed you awake with an eight-inch sausage?

 

[jps]

w.t.f.?

 

[bigpern23]

The sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.

Somewhere, John Wayne Bobbit just shuddered and doesn't know why.

 

[Diabeetus]

I like waking up to the smell of bacon in the morning. Sue me.

 

[jps]

Alarm clocks are a necessary evil. They're necessary because, well, you need to wake up in time for work, but they're evil because they wake you from a restful slumber with a harsh, horrible noise. There's just got to be a better way to wake up in the morning.

Say hello to the Wake n' Bacon. Simply put a frozen strip of bacon into it when you go to bed. 10 minutes before you're supposed to wake up, it'll start cooking the bacon. The smell will waft out, waking you up to the odor of sweet, sweet hogfat. If you don't wake up, a small alarm will go off. Sure, that's annoying, but at least your bedroom will smell like bacon, right?

 

[jps]

oh, and this guy agrees.

 

[mike311gd]

Alarm clocks are a necessary evil. They're necessary because, well, you need to wake up in time for work, but they're evil because they wake you from a restful slumber with a harsh, horrible noise. There's just got to be a better way to wake up in the morning.

Say hello to the Wake n' Bacon. Simply put a frozen strip of bacon into it when you go to bed. 10 minutes before you're supposed to wake up, it'll start cooking the bacon. The smell will waft out, waking you up to the odor of sweet, sweet hogfat. If you don't wake up, a small alarm will go off. Sure, that's annoying, but at least your bedroom will smell like bacon, right?

That's probably one of the greatest inventions of man.

And make your alarm the Saved By The Bell theme. It's impossible to wake up angry.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Didn't Reggie Love wake up to an 8-inch sausage?

 

[Football_Bat]

California?

Sausage assault sounds more like a Wisconsin thing.

 

[forever_town]

Alarm clocks are a necessary evil. They're necessary because, well, you need to wake up in time for work, but they're evil because they wake you from a restful slumber with a harsh, horrible noise. There's just got to be a better way to wake up in the morning.

Say hello to the Wake n' Bacon. Simply put a frozen strip of bacon into it when you go to bed. 10 minutes before you're supposed to wake up, it'll start cooking the bacon. The smell will waft out, waking you up to the odor of sweet, sweet hogfat. If you don't wake up, a small alarm will go off. Sure, that's annoying, but at least your bedroom will smell like bacon, right?

That's probably one of the greatest inventions of man.

And make your alarm the Saved By The Bell theme. It's impossible to wake up angry.

I'd make that a Stevie Nicks song and I'd be happy to wake up. And I'm anything but a morning person.