Long-time poster. Long-time lurker. First-time re-poster. After following the Wright Thompson piece on Cleveland sports, I think this board needs to get back to its roots a little and tear apart and praise some writing:
Just got the new SI this morning (Mark Wahlberg cover). It is good timing, because there's been some talk about Charles Pierce on here this week, and there is a Pierce story in the magazine - a takeout feature on Wes Welker.
I'm curious what people think about the piece:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1179944/1/index.htm
Seems to me that the lede is overwritten and unnecessary. The Mark Twain reference seems a little obscure, at least as written. I would have probably started here:
Wes Welker's eyes are blue-gray and wide. Their gaze is steady, and their focus is like something alive. It misses nothing in a circular field of vision that seems greater than other people's. Welker sees spaces that nobody else sees. He looks at a field where everyone seems to be colliding and sees a place to run. He looks at a game played by much bigger men and sees a place in which a man who stands 5'9" and weighs 185 pounds can create a kind of art. An old friend of his remembers a broken love affair and sees the words of a song, a deep blue tint on every syllable. Wes Welker looks at a noisy, crowded, violent profession and sees a career.
I know he ties his genius lede back to the beginning with his final paragraph, but by the time you get there, it's been so long that I don't think it has any impact.
Just got the new SI this morning (Mark Wahlberg cover). It is good timing, because there's been some talk about Charles Pierce on here this week, and there is a Pierce story in the magazine - a takeout feature on Wes Welker.
I'm curious what people think about the piece:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1179944/1/index.htm
Seems to me that the lede is overwritten and unnecessary. The Mark Twain reference seems a little obscure, at least as written. I would have probably started here:
Wes Welker's eyes are blue-gray and wide. Their gaze is steady, and their focus is like something alive. It misses nothing in a circular field of vision that seems greater than other people's. Welker sees spaces that nobody else sees. He looks at a field where everyone seems to be colliding and sees a place to run. He looks at a game played by much bigger men and sees a place in which a man who stands 5'9" and weighs 185 pounds can create a kind of art. An old friend of his remembers a broken love affair and sees the words of a song, a deep blue tint on every syllable. Wes Welker looks at a noisy, crowded, violent profession and sees a career.
I know he ties his genius lede back to the beginning with his final paragraph, but by the time you get there, it's been so long that I don't think it has any impact.
